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Author Topic: toddlers - 4 secrets that bring you closer  (Read 19656 times)
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Twinergy
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« Reply #15 on: May 28, 2010, 04:50:00 AM »

Nice article, thanks!,

Since we are on the topic, just wondering if you stop people from "ape talk" to your baby?
 all input is welcome smile

I don't correct strangers that ape talk to my toddlers since they won't be around enough to influence them.  But grandparents have been the worst offenders here and are still doing this to my 2 1/2 year olds.  After reading this article point 7 talks about variation sets.  I pointed this out to the grandparents and now they still use ape talk, but then follow it up with a real sentence.  I think that this will eventually help them break the habit.  It is improvement and I didn't have to confront them about what they are doing wrong. 

« Last Edit: May 28, 2010, 04:22:00 PM by Twinergy » Logged
kizudo
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« Reply #16 on: May 28, 2010, 06:09:26 PM »

Thanks for that article, My Sunshine.  Interesting part about the variation sets.  It is a good reminder.  I know that sometimes I don't slow down enough to do this and realize that it is something I should make more of an effort to do.

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Twinergy
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« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2010, 10:58:17 PM »

It is actually possible to tame a temper tantrum by acknowledging the toddler’s point of view, the 4th secret in the original article (tp://bit.ly/bYhWyi).  It is amazing to see it work the first time.  This won’t work for all tantrums, sometimes the child is overtired, hungry or in pain for example, but it works for most the tantrums my children have. 

Here is an example from earlier today…
We had to go grocery shopping, the twins were engrossed in play and didn’t want their diapers changed.  My son decided he wanted to play with the train blocks just as I started changing his diaper.  I told him that we needed to go to the store but he could play with them after naptime.  He started wailing.  I said “you sound mad that I won’t let you play with the train blocks.  You really want to play with them, huh?”  “It would be so much fun playing with those blocks, wouldn’t it?”  At this point I start describing all the different fun things he could do with the blocks.  “You could stack the blocks, roll the wheels on the floor, look at the animals and letters…” or I might try phrasing them as questions, but he isn’t much into answering.  The whole time I was talking to him I actually changed his diaper plus he was calm and happy by the time I finished. 

Surprisingly, many discipline issues are actually communication issues.  The book that suggests ape talk is commonly recommended to help improve communication with toddlers, but I always found the concept undignified.  A much better book on communication with toddlers and preschoolers is Becoming the Parent You Want to Be.  It is full of sample scripts from real situations and has reall worked miracles for my family.  I have mentioned it several times in previous threads because the book is that good.  Here it is discussed in more detail.  http://forum.brillkids.com/coffee-corner/twenty-alternatives-to-punishment/msg52071/#msg52071


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mirra
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« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2010, 03:27:59 AM »

Article is good. Thanks for posting it here... karma to u..

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McDume
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« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2010, 05:59:54 PM »

Another article along the same lines talking about acknowledging the tough transitions our babies face.
http://bit.ly/94Tq9y. Again, it seems to come down to communicating, preparing, treating our children like the intelligent human beings they are.

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2010BEBES
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« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2010, 03:32:58 AM »

http://bit.ly/94Tq9y. Again, it seems to come down to communicating, preparing, treating our children like the intelligent human beings they are.
McDume thank you for this article. Karma to you.

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