How do I approach excessive TV watching with family day care provider

[allthatiam]

I know this is a random topic but I am pretty sure our family day care provider is exposing our 2.5 year old son to way too much T.V. He is familiar with just too many TV characters.
I am not sure how to approach the issue with her. I have no concrete evidence to start with. More importantly, she is a little defensive, and I don't want her taking out any annoyance on my son.
My son is happy there, so obviously nothing terrible is happening and he is treated well. I just don't think TV constantly running is great for his development/learning.
Thanks for any ideas.

[Skylark]

We do not take our children to daycare. But on a few rare occasions some family member stayed with them or spent time with them, we had a clear cut rule of "No TV at all". It was easier that way, as there is not much to discuss and too much or too little is so subjective and different from person to person. But if the rule is that "NO TV allowed at all", then they are forced to come up with other activities ( which we usually provide in our case), which are much better and healthier for the kids. We never regretted this, as it only brought a good fruit, and took any unpleasant discussion on what and how much viewing is OK away.

[Korrale4kq]

Any chance the characters can be leant through books or other children? My son didn't watch TV but he knows many characters this way. I would just tell her your concerns. It is best to have open communication with your daycare provider. She might think you are okay with the current arrangement.

[Mandabplus3]

I would mention that he has been talking quite a lot about TV characters and that you feel many of the he program's on TV today are not suitable for your children. State clearly but politely that you don't want him watching TV at all during care time. You could make allowances for educational viewing with would at the very least make her consider what all the kids are watching. Many daycare people use TV in downtime while they tidy away lunch or such. It is possible he is watching movies of kids program's in this time. Find out exactly what they are watching, how often and then you can determine if you have a problem with it. Offer to provide a more suitable alternative (magic school bus, Sid the science kid) if you need to.
Overall do remember you are PAYING for her to care for your kids. You DO have a say in how that is done.

[allthatiam]

Thanks for all your advice.
 
Unfortunately my discussion with the daycare provider did not go well. She was awfully defensive and said something about them watching T.V. 'here and there' for 20 minutes or so...and 'only' in the mornings...and 'only' in the afternoons. 

I am pretty sure now after further investigating my son's knowledge of T.V. programs that his knowledge cannot be explained by occasional watching or kids talking to each other. He knows the names of almost every T.V. character on the kids T.V. channel during the hours he is in care. My experience is that he is not the sort of kid that will pick up a name from one viewing -  it takes a few viewings. He has also become a little obsessive about T.V., requesting it constantly.

Although my preference would be no T.V., I would be ok with up to an hour a day of educational programs. It is tricky looking after 4 kids under 4 on your own and I understand that the carer needs some quiet time.

Unfortunately, taking him out of care is not really an option at this stage. He feels very safe with his carer, she is consistent and level headed and we have had issues in the past getting him to adjust to center day care (he is sunny and sociable but emotionally sensitive).  I am thinking by 3 years he should be mature enough for center care. Maybe we should just pop him on the waiting lists now and ride it out!

[Mandabplus3]

No you need to approach the conversation again. You can be gentle. But perhaps something like...tell her you have been thinking about the TV viewing issue a lot and can't seem to get comfortable with it. Tell her you are sorry it is an issue and that you feel the need to bring it up again and get her defensive down. Say you would like to find a solution to keep you both happy and suggest offering to provide educational videos. Tell her you don't want him watching any Regular TV at all otherwise he will continue to watch it. Obviously she has the TV on a lot and I personally wouldn't be at all happy about that, even if it is on in the background.  Again you are paying her! She is not your friend she is your employee. You have rights to make your preferences known. And within reason she should be accommodating of that. 
I would be presumptive enough to turn up with the educational DVDs as in hand. But just one a day!

[allthatiam]

  rocking up with dvd's might help. At least it would be better than watching Peppa Pig or In the Night Garden (they are not that bad, but not great).
What DVD's would you suggest out of curiosity?
I'll give talking to her another go, perhaps with the support of the family day care organisation she is contracted by.
I realise she is not my friend. I just don't want her taking any anger out on my kid, but I guess she'd have to be pretty nasty/unprofessional to do this long term.  She has it pretty good with my son. He is well behaved and toilet trained and he doesn't swear, bite and destroy things like some of her past 'clients'. So maybe it is in her interest to keep us happy too...
I am also a bit of a coward too    I hate conflict! 

[Mandabplus3]

Oh yes I have to admit this one would be difficult to face. This is one person you really do want to keep happy
DVDs to try Preschool prep company. leap frog, Sid the science kid, magic school bus, even Sesame Street and play school would be better than the night garden! Type in educational DVDs into YouTube or Amazon and see what is available. Your library will probably have some too!
The organisation she is controlled by probably has guidelines on TV viewing. A phone call to suggest you are concerned and interested in the guidelines is probably all you need to do
If she chooses to take it out on your kid then he won't enjoy going and you will soon know about it.
Turning up with a DVD is probably the most helpful way you can address the problem.

[Korrale4kq]

Do you have her email? I find this an okay way to deal with people who are concerned about confrontation. Many years ago I was a live in nanny. And we communicated via notes a lot. It worked great. If there was anything to really discuss we could. But generally the notes took care of most things in an amiable way. 

[thshower]

Make them engaged in other productive and interesting things. Please make sure that you make them understand in a gentle manner, and donot force anything on your child.

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