If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

[winth]

My husband and I were not entirely closed to the option of having a third child. If we have a third child, we are considering it for the year of 2010 or 2011. The age gap between are 2 boys is 4 years, 5 years and 18 months respectively.

I'm on birth control and we are still discussing this issue of having a 3rd child or not before christmas this year, as it is another 3-6 months wait before my hormones get tuned back to normal from the IUD.

I just hit 30 this year. Am quite confused now as having another child is a lifetime commitment (finance, more time to children, worries etc etc) but I do not want to wait till when I'm past my productive stage that I regret later for not having another baby.

Why did you decide to have/not have a 3rd child?

[nohayo]

I don't have kids yet and I know it's hard work. But in my own opinion, I think the more the merrier (as long as your up to it physically and emotianally)!

I've always liked big families, yes they are quite something to handle!, but if your relaxed about it everything will just take its due course and it is so much fun for everybody

So its ultimately up to your personality and your style of raising your kids I guess !

[nhockaday]

I only have so far, but I know I want at least 3! I hope we will be in a better financial position in a couple of years to have another one.

[rixu]

i wish to have at least two kids. but will wait for three more years. 

[sb1201]

After my second son was born we thought we were done having kids and that two was enough. But I did kind of have that nagging feeling that I wanted more. But, we decided that my husband would get a vasectomy when my youngest was only a few months old and just move on with raising our boys.

Well, about two years later I just couldn't turn off that feeling of wanting another. I wanted it with every fiber of my being and I think the fact that I knew we couldn't made it worse. We were financially able so hubby got a reversal. Three months later I was pregnant. We were lucky.

I knew again we wanted a fourth child but this time we wern't so lucky getting pregnant right away. We tried for over a year, even doing several fertility treatments with no success. Since we knew we wanted to add to our family we decided on adoption. We had all the paper work filled out and ready to turn in when I found out I was in fact pregnant.

Now, the thought of having another baby doesn't sound right at all. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and wouldn't change a thing, but I don't want any more. I feel like our family is complete.

I guess my point is only you will know whether another child is right for you. I'm so glad we decided to have our third and fourth, because now I know what it feels like to feel complete.

I'm with nohayo, the more the merrier, if that is what you are up to.

[puja]

I will just go for two kids, irrespective of sex.

Further i will keep gap of 4 to 5 years between two kids.


This is my view, every person has different opinion.

[winth]

Thanks all for sharing your views and being so open to this! I'm in a dilemna now. In my heart, I feel like we should have a 3rd one and this thought has been bugging me since the birth of my 2nd boy. My hubby and I were actually discussing about when we should have the third one when my DS2 just turned 1 year old. But things changed when my DS2 turned toddler stage.

After my second son was born we thought we were done having kids and that two was enough.

That was the exact same feeling I had!

Esp when my 2nd boy's 'performance as a toddler' is not very good. He added alot of stress into the family. But, just to be fair, I think he's at the 'Terrible Two' phase right now and he's got real nasty temper (from our genes ).

Hi sb1201,
Is having a third/fourth child more physically & emotionally demanding than having just 2? I mean I'm already handling my DS2, my husband is on DS1. We really have no hands for DS3...

At the same time, we have got friends (they have 3 children) telling us that having 3rd or 4th kid will not have incremental impact on the level of energy required, as compared to increasing from 1 child to 2 children.

If I would choose to have a 3rd one, it's bec I didn't want to regret later on when I'm past my productive stage that I didn't have another baby. Plus the fact that this would be my last baby. I went through 2 C-sections for my 2 boys, so the gynae told me it will be my last pregnancy for I can no longer have the 4th, and it is a compulsory C-section for the 3rd child.

[winth]

Hi sb1201,

Are you now a full time mother?

[sb1201]

Hi winth,

I am a full time mom and I have been since a little before my first son was born. That is something both my husband and I felt was very important for our family and I feel very blessed that we have been able to do it.

I think your friends are right that it really isn't much harder adding the third child. Now the fourth, I feel is a different story   I don't know what it is but this little guy wears me out! I just got done putting him to bed for the third time in three hours. I'm up waiting for the wash to be done because he gets so mad in bed that he makes himself throw up    He really has a bit of a temper. This is my biggest challenge right now with him is sleeping.

But now I have gotten off topic...I guess it just comes down to what you feel you can handle. If you feel in your heart that you want another child and circumstances allow for it, I think you should go for it. As for your toddler, he will only get older and (hopefully)   grow out of his phases.

[kmum]

This is such  a personal decision.  What is right for one family may not be right for the next.  I think you & your husband really need to go with your hearts when deciding.

[Manisha]

NO  doubt the feeling of Motherhood is one of the most precious and pious feelinds.
However what i opins is that one should at least have two kids and not more than 2. Because in case we will have many kids then probably somtimes because of financial constrain their wishes could not be fullfiled. Thus the parents should impart good education.



...............................................Manisha

[Nikolett]

I agree with kmum, your heart will tell you. If you think you will regret not having third, you probably should. I don't regret having mine. They do keep each other company and older teach younger so it's actually easier than having just one or two.

[winth]

Hi Manisha,

That's the reason which kinda stopped us.
In Singapore where we live, the cost of living is so darn high and we dunno what will happen in the future should we lose our jobs. Worries do not end after we give birth - it's actually the beginning.

Anyway, we have decided to come to a decision by Christmas. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[baby_firefly]

i would love to have three childeren i just had my first and due to the complicatons and the several surguries i had to go through i might not be able to have any more so it makes me sad but i am blessed and if it happens it happens but every family situation is different i've also decided that i may addopt and give a child a home that might not have been able to have one i think it would be very rewording to give that opertunity to such an inucent child but in the end it all depends on what you your self would like to do. 

[aneta]

I agree that it's a very personal decision.And it will depend on many many factors,your believes, finances,medical care etc.From my personal experience as to how I managed with more than 2 I would say it was much harder when second child came along than third or fourth .When I think about it every new addition to your family requiers a lot of addjusting ,learning and growing together as a family.By the way ,I have more time for my own needs now than with number 1.But it's not for every one,and I wish you all the best with decision making

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