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Author Topic: Announcing you are pregnant, when is the right time?  (Read 21671 times)
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PY
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« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2010, 04:44:56 PM »

Well I liked to enjoy the news only with my parents and my husband first, after 3 months I told other people but I think is just such a  great new that you just want to enjoy with the closest people...anyways nobody else will understand how happy you are.

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kizudo
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« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2010, 06:40:38 PM »

Julie -  I'm so sorry to hear of your losses.  I am so happy that you are able to enjoy parenting, now.  Unfortunately, there are many, many loving and capable women and men out there who will never get the chance and long for the opportunity.

All - sorry for an overload of information in my previous post.  I've been a bit emotional lately as it's coming up to the one year marker of my last miscarriage.  We had already seen the heartbeat and were convinced that our miscarriage days were over.  Each miscarriage was hard in its own way.  This one was hard because we knew the joy of a baby already (they would have been 2 years apart) so the loss seemed more tangible.  So...sorry...and I'm also sorry if our stories of miscarriages and stillbirths have distressed any of you pregnant woman.

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Mylittleones
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« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2010, 08:24:54 PM »

The right time to announce is up to you. I have always waited until people started noticing and asking on their own, but I am just that way.

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kmum
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« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2010, 04:18:00 AM »

This is such a personal decision, but we always ended up telling everyone early.  With the first, because we were so excited that we couldn't keep it to ourselves.  With the 2nd, I started to show very early & my in laws were going on a month long holiday.  We ended up telling everyone at 6 or 8 weeks because I could not have hidden it another month & wanted my inlaws & parents to be the 1st to know.

I was very blessed to never have a miscarriage, but a friend who did said that she believed in announcing it early, because people would be more understanding then.  They would share her joy, but also her pain if the baby did not survive.

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Laura - proud Mom to my new reader with 47 chromosomes! http://downsyndromeupupupandaway.blogspot.com/
2010BEBES
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« Reply #19 on: July 27, 2010, 06:51:10 PM »

I am very sorry for all the miscarrieges and really i think it is the main reason why some take longer to announced your pregnancy.

Maybe the title is wrong because my intention was not to see the 'Right time' for the announcement but to hear when was the most appropiate time 'for you' to communicate it to your friends in general.
thanks for sharing your point of view.

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amath
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« Reply #20 on: July 28, 2010, 07:46:43 AM »

Quote
The right time to announce is up to you. I have always waited until people started noticing and asking on their own, but I am just that way.
(mylittleones)

I agree with you, but i did announce it when i was 8 weeks.But then i started to spot and was so sad that a miscarriage might happen. Thank god that I'm ok now.


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McDume
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« Reply #21 on: August 10, 2010, 03:26:04 PM »

Share the joy.

We were so excited by our first pregnancy, we were spontaneous and told anyone who might share our excitement. Unfortunately, we miscarried after 4-weeks. In speaking with my mother, she went into one of those "well, you know, when I was growing up, you didn't tell anyone until you absolutely had to, because if something went wrong, it's so difficult to have to talk about it with all the people you've told..."

Our reaction? 'Okay, mom, next time we won't tell you until the baby is safely delivered.'

Basically, I think everyone has to judge for themselves, because there is no right or wrong answer.

Good question.

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nic31600
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« Reply #22 on: August 10, 2010, 03:57:20 PM »

When I first found out I was pregnant, the only person I told immediately was my sister because she has kids and could easily relate as she had many miscarriages and has 3 kids as well. I didn't tell my other family and friends until after the 1st trimester.

I didn't tell people before because I didn't want to get them all excited incase something went wrong as my sister announced 2 early and lost them both before 11 weeks.

If I could turn the clock back, I think it probably would've been a better Idea not to have told my very unsupportive mother until AFTER the birth, though living with her at the time, would've been hard to have hid it.

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tammtamm21
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« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2010, 08:24:06 PM »

Wow, what an amazing response!
 
This is such a sensitive subject.

I too, feel that it is an individuals dicision when and who to tell.

It is very important to have support but since miscarriage is such a painful topic we don't discuss it, therefore, we think it must not happen too often. But the truth is only 50% of pregnancys are successful.

I had my first son without a single issue. Im fit and healthy and have no family history of miscarriage or health issues, so I assumed when I got pregnant again everything would be as perfect as the first time, I told everyone! But I misscarried and I found it very difficult to accept/explain/understand. When I got pregnant again I told only my close family, aiming for support, but when that pregnancy failed my own mother asked what was *wrong* with me. There aren't any answers. And those you think will be supportive may not be as supportive as you'd hope.

When I got pregnant again, we kept it to ourselves. Such a shame, really, having a baby should be joyous news, but after such heartbreak, getting pregnant can be wrought with the very stress that brings about the miscarriage. Somehow you have to pull yourself together and pray and hope and visualize knowing your making yourself vulnerable again. And wouldn't you know those 50% odds worked for me with a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Thank God.

Hope this helps.

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2010BEBES
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« Reply #24 on: August 11, 2010, 05:58:37 AM »

When I first found out I was pregnant, the only person I told immediately was my sister ...
I was with my daughter from the beginning doing the tests and then going to the doctor. But she decide to wait and only told the close family (brothers of both them).
It was very dificcult for me to keep the secret my daughter told me, especially from my sister since we have a close relation.
When 12 weeks she decided to tell to cousins and friends.

At first i was (or am ) afraid something may go wrong but did not realize that 50% were miscarriage. Maybe that is in the first few weeks?

She now pass the first trimester and we are happy because it is starting to show.
As i pray for her, i am going to ask for all of you in this forum, especially those of you who are pregnant.

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nohayo
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« Reply #25 on: October 18, 2010, 06:33:21 PM »

I told my parents and hubby's parents and noone else for the first 3 months...then told just close friends until my tummy started to show and ppl started asking ... that's when it got out really smile It's a cultural thing for us not to tell until the first 3 months pass... but I am secretive too and didn't want to tell even after the first trimester was done!   blush

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