socializing toddlers

[MonkeynoseMomma]

My daughter is not even school age yet, but I intend to homeschool. I am looking for ideas on socializing when homeschooling.
I don't know many people in the town where I live and my daughter has no sibs or cuzos nearby. I want her to have friends and meet with them often.
Any ideas on how to achieve this.

[mother of faith]

Mine isn't school age either, but we find LITTLE ONES everywhere to play with, the park, the grocery store, restaraunts, church, family play dates, the library, local home school groups, co-ops, etc. We live in a small town so we normally run into the same kids over and over at different places but mine seem to be doing well in the socializing part.

[Nikita]

Going to playgroups and making some continuing friendships is a good idea. I met a family recently at playgroup with a 3 or 4 year old, and a baby, who are planning to homeschool...so that's a good thing. We might be able to share some teaching roles, like "come over to my house and learn....today"...
And the internet might help you locate homeschoolers in your town.

[momtomany]

We've been homeschooling for many years now (more than 10!)... I am surprised still that that socializing issue is always people's top concern when they find out that we're homeschooling.  I don't think toddlers have a real huge need for socializing beyond what parents, siblings, grandparents, and occasionally a visit with some friends' kids can take care of.  I don't think you are planning to live in seclusion as your child gets older either.  My kids have each other to play with, it's true... but we don't make a huge effort to provide 'socializing opportunities'.  I'd say about an average of 2x in 3 weeks they have some opportunity to play with friends (meeting at a park, having company, etc).  Other things they do is sometimes they are with other children for swimming lessons or something like that.  Social behaviour is not really learned best from other immature little beings though... they learn appropriate social behaviour from the example of adults in their life.  Being with friends is really more of an opportunity to play, which is important for children of course.  Even in school, kids only really become good friends with a few other kids... maybe only one or two.  They don't need dozens and dozens of friends.  One thing that homeschooling parents find is that their homeschooled children are much more comfortable with adults and children of all ages.... the kids that go to school don't seem as confident talking to adults and don't seem to be able to integrate different ages into their play as easily... I've often heard schooled children asking 'what grade are you in', and it almost seems like they're checking it out if that kid is someone they can play with.  Many of my homeschooling friends have said that people comment about how friendly people say their kids are... they say the same about my kids too.  'Easy to talk to', 'confident young lady'.... and they comment on the difference they notice from schooled children.  Now if the socializing concern is that maybe homeschooled kids won't be just like schooled children.... it's true.... my 12yog doesn't talk or think obsessively about boys, my 9yob doesn't have foul talk in his vocabulary, my 16yog doesn't talk about boys, boys, boys, music, music, music, clothes, clothes, clothes.  I don't mind it one bit that my kids aren't 'normal'... they are happy and confident and interesting and well adjusted.  It seems to me that spending your days with people of all ages in lots of different social situations is perhaps a more natural and healthy socializing than spending your days somewhat unsupervised with 30 other children the same age as you in school everyday.  I wouldn't worry about it at all... socializing toddlers and homeschooled children is nothing of great concern at all.  I'm not any kind of psychologist or anything, but my experience and the experiences of homeschooling friends has proven to me what a positive thing homeschooling is for socializing children.  If you are friendly and nice to people and comfortable talking to or meeting new people... if you can have good conversations with people and get along with everyone... then that is exactly what your children will learn to be like because they learn most of that kind of thing from your example... it's not something you can put on a flashcard or really 'teach' them... they will all have their personalities of course, but they learn more than you think from your example.  So just relax and don't worry too much about it.

[MonkeynoseMomma]

mother of faith and Nikita, Thank you for responding. I appreciate your advice.
Karma to you both.

[MonkeynoseMomma]

momtomany,
thank you so much. I want to take what you just wrote, write it down and carry it in my pocket!
Better yet I want to silk screen it on a T-shirt and wear it everywhere. When people say," Aren't you worried about social developement?", I'll just point to my shirt.
What you just described is already evident in my girl's behavior. She goes everywhere with me and I always include her in what we are doing whether I am conversing with other adults or children of this age or that.
She already is quite well spoken and shows confidence in social situations.
I really felt that this is a more natural form of socializing, but I just didn't have those thoughts put in words. Nor do I have any experience, as my girl is my first.
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut, but having someone with experience validate your instincts is always reassuring.
Thanks and Karma

[mother of faith]

My 2 year old is talking up a storm now, to everyone, and we homeschool. He loves waving and greeting people everywhere we go, and now my 1 year old, he is always laughing and smiling too. I have had the same reaction, don't homeschool, your kids will....... This came from my ex-co-workers at a public school. But never the less we worry about the children so called fitting in with the rest of the world, what is so bad about standing out in a crowd, when to be honest every child is differnet anyway.

momtomany, thank you. K to you. Have you ever thought about writing a book on your homeschool experiences? www.lulu.com is a place to start if you decide to do so. And let us know.

Or for that matter any body else that has been homeschooling for a long time, write it down for the future generations.

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