crawling

[wintermommy]

Hi, I have a 5 month old baby boy. He is so adorable however, lately, he just want to be held all the time. We can't even put him down so he can have tummy time. He is so needy. I don't know if we already spoiled him becuase we pick him up right away everytime he cry. My only concern is, will he ever learn how to crawl and walk. Will this delay his development. Help!

[jdhanota]

my son was a late crawler and walker, my father in law would carry in him everywhere and I worked all day so it was hard to monitor how much tummy time he got.  I would try continue to try it through the day if you can and and even if he gets 30 seconds of tummy time many time through out the day, that's better than nothing at all.

[KL]

We decided to let Felicity cry it out when she was about 3 months, I think.  We laid next to her and comforted her as she cried.  What made it bearable was that we knew there was nothing 'wrong' with her - it was just a position she wasn't used to.  Her crying became shorter and shorter, and soon after that, there was no turning back (literally!) - she would always want to be on her tummy, and as soon as you put her on her back, she'd turn back over.  

We are very happy we endured the crying for those first couple of days, because seeing her being mobile and happy convinced us we did the right thing for her.  We also knew that the later we leave it, the harder it would have been to have her on her tummy.  I know this can be very difficult for many parents though.

FYI, Felicity was mobile at 5 months (doing "walrus crawling" ), cross-pattern crawling at 8 months.  She's also a very early talker, though the jury is still out as to whether crawling has anything to do with speech as Doman suggests.

[nhockaday]

My son always wanted to be held too. I tried to give him a little tummy time every day. Of course he hated it at first, but as KL said, he got used to used to it after a while and even preferred it. You don't have to put them on the floor and abandon them. Get down on the floor so they can see you. Bring some bright, interesting toys down for them to see. Just start with a minute at a time and gradually increase the time. Eventually, they will get used to it, and you will be able to leave them on the floor while you get some other things done. Try to make it as fun as possible. Babies need tummy time, and they will never learn to crawl and walk if you don't give them the opportunities.
My son started cross pattern crawling at 9 months. He started speed crawling almost immediately, and he has always loved crawling.

[Tornado]

One suggestion would be to begin wearing your baby for some time during the day.  It will not only free up your hands to get things done but there are huge benefits for your little one.  I still wear my baby (now 21 months)!  When babies are worn it often promotes a sense of calm.  They hear noises that seem very frightening when they are by themselves but now they hear them and can actually physically feel your reaction... they know, mommy's heart does not race when she hears that strange creaking noise.  They are also up where all the action is... when you walk around the house or go shopping you can easily talk to them about what you are doing and all of the exciting things you see... "mom is going to put the yellow bowl in the cabinet."  And they are much closer to eye-level so they see what you see.  When you chat with friends they are no longer looking at people's ankles... they can track your conversations and watch for expressions and reactions.  Some studies have shown babies that are worn to have increased intelligence and development.  Dr. Sears has alot of info on baby wearing-- I included a small bit below.  He also talks alot about the importance of attending to your baby's needs... when you come to your young baby when they cry you are not tying yourself to them in a negative way... you are establishing a sense of trust.  Your baby knows that if they are frightened and need your help you will come.  They cry because they can't just say "mom, what the heck was that sound it totally freaked me out!" or "I am all kinds of bored can you entertain me PLEASE!"  A friend of mine had a simmilar issue with her child.  She was so exhausted trying to develop a routine to keep him content.  She took him from swing, to play mat, to video, etc.  all trying to help him develop properly.  He just cried and she stressed out!  She bought a Moby baby wrap and began wearing him... MAGIC... he was a content baby!  I wear my daughter to sleep when she is hyped up for naps and bedtime.  It is like a drug... she can even fuss all the way into the wrap and then "boom" once she is snug against me she is content!  I use a Baby K'tan.  It is super comfortable even if you have back issues.  And I use an Ergo Baby Carrier for when I am out and about. 

As your baby receives reassurance from you through being worn and gaining greater understanding of all the noises and such around him.  I think he will be more secure in being on the floor.  I would stay and play with him and then gradually move away.  Set him at your feet while you fold towels on the couch.  That sort of thing. 

When my daughter was younger she would have days where she was happy to be exploring on her own and days where she needed to be with me.  And she still does. 

She began crawling at 9 months and started running about 6 weeks later!  And now she is absolutely unstoppable!  Her first day going down a slide on her own she chose to go down face first!  She is physically, mentally and emotionally well developed.  You are obviously doing a good job of showing your child that you will be there for him when he needs it.  I would not worry about the crawling it will come.  Chances are there is going to come a time when you are left crying because he is growing up much to fast and does not want to be held!  Motherhood can be so bittersweet! 

People have been baby-wearing probably since the dawn of time.  And it works!  I really think it might help to lessen both of your stress.  It has definitely been a help to me!

Here is the small excerpt from Dr. Sears article on baby wearing.  (The full article can be found at http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp#T051201 )

WEARING BABY IN A SLING
A baby carrier will be your most useful fuss- preventing tool. Infant development researchers who study babycare practices in America and other cultures are unanimous in reporting: infants who are carried more cry less. In fact, research has shown that babies who are carried at least three hours a day cry forty percent less than infants who aren't carried as much. Over the years in pediatric practice, I have listened and watched veteran baby-calmers and heard a recurrent theme: "As long as I have my baby in my arms or on my body she's content." This observation led us to popularize the term "babywearing." "Wearing" means more than just picking up baby and putting him in a carrier when he fusses. It means carrying baby many hours a day before baby needs to fuss. This means the carrier you choose must be easy to use and versatile. (We have found the sling-type carrier to be the most conducive to babywearing. Baby becomes like part of your apparel, and you can easily wear your baby in a sling at least several hours a day.) Mothers who do this tell us: "My baby seems to forget to fuss." The sling is not only helpful for high-need babies it's essential. Here's why babywearing works:
The outside womb. Being nestled in the arms, against the chest, and near the parent's face gives baby the most soothing of all environments. Mother's walking motion "reminds" baby of the rhythm he enjoyed while in the womb. The sling encircles and contains the infant who would otherwise waste energy flinging his arms and legs around, randomly attempting to settle himself. The worn baby is only a breath away from his parent's voice, the familiar sound he has grown to associate with feeling good. Babies settle better in this "live" environment than they do when parked in swings or plastic infant seats.

Sights aplenty. Being up in arms gives baby a visual advantage. He now can have a wider view of his world. Up near adult eye level, there are more visual attractions to distract baby from fussing. The distressed infant can now pick from a wide array of ever—changing scenery—select what delights him, and shut out what disturbs him. And seen from such a secure perch, even the disturbing sights soon become interesting rather than frightening.

Ins.eplay
The expanding mind of a growing infant is like a video library containing thousands of tapes. These tapes record behavior patterns that baby has learned to anticipate as either soothing or disturbing. Babywearing mothers tell us: "As soon as I put on the sling, my baby's face lights up with delight, and he stops fussing." The scene of mother putting on the sling triggers a replay in baby's mind of all the pleasant memories she's experienced in mother's arms, and she can anticipate the pleasant interaction that is soon to follow. She stops fussing. She's no longer bored.

[zoe22]

I posted here a few weeks ago, as I recall the topic was 'help! she hates tummy time!' I got lots of advice here and my daughter is 5months tomorrow and not only does she absolutely love tummy time, she's now mobile, she started crawling (backwards!!!)

As KL advised, i just would let her cry it out, it's a position they're not used to and it kind of restricts their view, so i would lay on the floor next to her, and put lots of toys and things to stimulate her interest in front of her. It didn't take long at all till she started enjoying being on her tummy, now that's the default position for her. I could leave her on her tummy for over half an hour on her own and she would play happily.
Once we started tummy time, her arms seem to get stronger so she props herself up on her hands and can look around. Then recently she would pull herself up on her hands and knees as if trying to crawl, but she hasn't really got the hang on the movement, so when she does that, instead opf movng forwards, she moves back, which I think is a good step for her anyway - though hilarious!

So I would advise, make sure he's fine, ie not hungry, sleepy or wet, then let him cry for a bit b4 picking him up, he'd soon get used to the position and start enjoying it. It's good for their arms, neck and back muscles anyway.

[omimama]

I also wore my baby and she is so alert and aware of her surroundings. She doesn't like tummy time either. Although she does tolerate more now that she can push herself up on her hands and look around. No crawling yet, but she has made attempts.

I think baby wearing is very beneficial. She could sit up unsupported at 3 months, and can stand now at 5 months with me just holding her hands.

[Bebita]

Hello Wintermommy,
I just have a little comment on spoiling babies. I don't think we can spoil little babies, they absolutely need our love, care, attention, they need to be held and cuddled. Crying is their means of communicating with us, when we attend to them right away, we're building up their trust. They don't have to be picked up everytime, when they cry they can be hungry, they may need a diaper change, they may be bored or want to change a position, they want to play... It's up to us to figure out what they need at any given moment, we need to learn how to understand our baby, since she doesn't talk. I have a 5 month old too and I don't pick him up every time he cries, he does not need that every time and besides he's heavy.. But I don't let him cry either, there's always a reason behind his 'communication'. Here are some excerpts from articles I've read:
         "I did discover a book recently by someone who could be considered an expert, which has been a big help. He’s studied thousands of babies for thirty years. It’s called Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child, by Burton White.
...The main points I’ve found helpful from the book are that many mothers, especially new ones, don’t realize that spoiling a child is not a problem during the first 5 ½ months, as the babies need a lot of comforting and loving care. But especially around the time from 5 ½ to 7 ½ months, this author suggests that you be extra careful to discourage undesirable habits. A crucial period for spoiling is before babies start to crawl. That’s the time to really tune in to the baby’s developmental needs. As they cry for company and you’re busy, it’s easy to get into picking up and carrying them more than is good for them. At this stage “doing what comes naturally” starts to work against parents. Baby is interested in everything but can’t get around. They start screaming for attention often.
...A key to helping baby develop well socially is understanding just what it is that babies enjoy doing at each stage. Options at this stage are moving an infant seat around, putting them in a jolly jumper or walker, or playing games together, as babies are very sociable at this age. Keep in mind that every time you initiate a social interchange is one less time that the child needs to cry for attention. Once the baby is crawling, this difficult stage is over."

Recognizing-and Preventing-a Spoiled Child
By Barton D. Schmitt, M.D.
Spoiled children aren't born that way. They get that way because a parent doesn't set limits, and gives in to tantrums and whining. If parents give their child too much power, the child will become self-centered and hard to control. Such parents also rescue the child from normal frustrations.
The reason some parents are overly lenient is that they confuse the child's needs with the child's wants or whims . They do not want to hurt their child's feelings or cause any crying. In the process, they may take the short-term solution of doing whatever prevents crying, which, in the long run, causes more crying. The child's ability to cry and fuss deliberately to get something usually doesn't begin before five or six months of age.
Confusion exists about the differences between giving attention to children and spoiling children. In general, attention is good for children. Attention can become harmful if it is excessive, given at the wrong time, or always given immediately (to the harm of the work or others’ needs). Attention from you is excessive if it interferes with your child's learning to play by himself or with other children. An example of giving attention at the wrong time is when you are busy and your child is demanding attention. If attention is always given immediately, your child won't learn to wait.
Holding is a form of attention that some parents worry about unnecessarily. Holding small babies is equivalent to loving them. Parents in most cultures hold their babies much more than we do. Lots of holding of a young baby by the mother and father does not cause a spoiled infant or child.
The opposite of a spoiled child is a disciplined, cooperative one who respects the rights of others. If this what you want, be sure you're doing the following:
Provide age-appropriate limit setting. Children can't learn self control without receiving external controls. Give consequences for any behavior that's unsafe or destructive.
Teach children a respect for parents' rights. Unless you do, they won't respect other people's rights.
Teach them to play independently and entertain themselves.
In your quest for quality time with your child, don't overlook his need for limits during your time together."

Also you said 'lately' he wants to be held a lot, so I suppose this change in his behavior is recent. I just went through a few fussy/rough days with my son, he wanted to nurse more often, he wanted to be carried around too, his naps were super short, in the night he woke up every hour instead of only once as he's already been doing for a while... It was a very trying time, as I just didn't see why he was acting like that, he wasn't sick, nothing seemed wrong. I was getting so frustrated and upset especially in the night, as to wake up every hour to nurse is very taxing.. I started to look for the counsel on how to get a baby to sleep in the night.. Well, last two days (and nights) everything went back to normal, pretty much and today I found out that we have our third tooth out! So after all there was a reason why he wanted more comfort through nursing and being held.. I simply have not thought of it. Anyway, just thought I share that, as we have so much to learn with our little ones.

I hope this all makes sense somehow and if it was a help, even better.

[aichoo]

Doesn't wearing baby limit her movement and her ability to exercise? It's perfect for mommy as the child will just sit quietly in the sling, but I still think we shouldn't overdo it.

[noorhidayah]

hi there,

I have the same problem before this. What I do is that I used a sling when I  did my huse chores. for me, it's make me easy to do the work and t the same time I don't have to worry so much aboutthe baby since I know she with me and o encourage her more, I talk to the baby what I am doing at that time. it is a good thing since this developed your bonding with your baby and makes he/she learn everyting around him/her.

at this month also (5-9 months) the baby separation anxiety are high since she/he had, at this time the ability to see a bit further and  recognse things. That is why she will cry when you put her down and move to other places. what you can do is that, you can at first sit with the baby for a few minutes and then tell her that you want to do your work. make sure you tell the baby that where you want to go and for how long. I did this with my baby and at first, she cried as long as she want, but eventually when she sees me return after sometime, she knew that I am gone not for long time...

Another way is that, you can plae her where she can sees you. she will cry first when you put her down, but talk to her that you are there with her and I believe that this will calm her down...just try it for a couple of times to see whether this work...and in addition to that maybe you can distract her with toys...

[Tornado]

I don't think anyone reccomends wearing your baby 100% of the time or even close to that.  Wearing your baby helps in promoting a sense of calm.  With mama so close they are able to learn from your reactions to the things and noises in your environment.  If you are having difficulty being able to set them down, perhaps use baby wearing when you need to get things done and then use the time you set them on the floor to actively play with your baby.  They will develop good feelings about being down on the floor.  As they gain confidence you can begin to create more distance, being next to them but on the couch and then just within eyesight.  Each baby is different in how fast they will be comfortable with this process going.  We are social beings and as you establish a sense of trust in your baby they will naturally become more independent.  I have used attachment parenting (although I do not know if I follow all of their guidelines, as I just try to do what feels natural and do not abide by a set of rules) and a couple of my friends thought that I was nuts to carry my daughter and not press her towards "independence" (their word) and give myself "freedom" (again not my word).  My husband is frequently away on business and my daughter, who absolutely adores him, is a perfect candidate for some serious seperation anxiety... but she does not!  We have gone through short phases (a couple days) where she has a greater need to be right with us but then she is back to normal.  And now she experiences no anxiety when he leaves for work and can play independently.  In new situations she observes what is going on, makes a determination whether she should join right in or stay with me a little longer, and then is off like a shot!  A baby's needs seem to have an eb and flow. 
I think that mothers should do what feels natural to them... both humans and animals were created with an inborn sense of how to rear their young.  You know your baby better than anyone else.  Mother kangaroos do not worry if their baby will ever hop out and if you go to the zoo you can see little monkeys that cling so tightly to their mothers quickly progressing to jumping and playing about with their mothers often having to pull them back!

[wintermommy]

Thank you to everyone who replied! This is really awesome. The advise here are really really good. I am so glad I found this community. People here are just so helpful. I will definitely keep your advise in mind. Now I feel like I understand my baby.

[Karen T]

My daughter starts crawling when she's about 8 months. Before that, I'm also worry that she's slow learner.  Moreover, at first, she did not know how to move her hands and legs, so she uses her tummy to support and move forward. I was worried that she might hurt herself (as we put her on the floor, but most of the time, we put her on the bed). Then, soon after, baby knows what they should do. Now, she even go after my mum's Silky Terrier by crawling or toys that move. Just give your baby some time & enjoy the moment.

[Kappasweet]

I held my baby all the time for the first 7 months, he started crawling around 9 months.  He is happy and active and normal now at 14 months, and he walked right at 12 months.  I don't consider him to be clingy or needy, and we never made him cry intentionally.  Try not to be judgmental about your baby's temperament and do the best you can.  You can always compare your baby to others and say you would prefer some other personality but they are all born different as babies, just as we are all different as adults, and its not all due to parenting practices..  My baby is highly active and others tell me that their babies at the same age just sit.  I know the physically superb says they must crawl at birth, but you have to do what you think is best as a parent.

[Joha]

We have been doing tummy time with my daughter for the last three months. However, we have not been very consistent  We will put her down on a yoga mat a couple of times a day, but some days none    Anyways, little by little she has been able to stay down longer without crying and we followed KL advise of letting her cry a little bit before picking her up. The funny thing is that she will not crawl forward, but clockwise. We decided to get a crawling track built. We got it yesterday and we love it! She actually crawls more than we thought she did. The crawling track helps her move forward and also allows us to see how much she actually moves. It is great! 

document.getElementById('recent_loading').style.display = 'none';document.getElementById('recent_page_box').style.display = '';

Page: 1/4  

Loading...

Members

• Total Members: 214688
• Latest: Stepanc812

Stats

• Total Posts: 110526
• Total Topics: 19136
• Online Today: 126
• Online Ever: 826
• (January 22, 2020, 12:09:49 AM)

Users Online

• Users: 0
• Guests: 120
• Total: 120