interesting.
my MIL and i have an interesting relationship too. i am married 6 years now. at first we would clash. i use to get annoyed. she had ideas about kids which were different from mine. i want an independant child who will learn to appreciate being self reliant hence all the teaching etc.. she wants to spoil a child.
i then analysed the situation.i want my child to have things i didnt and be things that i never was. i want the best for him and want him to have all the knowledge in the world. its a gift that cant get taken away. i want that because i am the parent
my MIL however has lost her husband and all her children are grown and married. she has 2 grandchildren. her relationship was an emotional one with my son. she then wanted to spoil him. we also live 5 hours apart so she tried to be included in his life whenever and in whatevver way she could. even if that meant questioning my parenting style. it was just her way. her grand children are all she has. there is just nothing else.
now we are really good friends and i love her like my own mum. i think the tension gave us both the opportunity to understand each other. now she phones frequently to find out how our schooling is going. we chat for hours sometimes.
i think its important for young people to remember that it is very difficult to break a mind pattern or way of life in an older person and we shouldnt try to. their life is their choice and when you find yourself being questioned by one always remember that you can politely listen but you dont have to follow the advice or get upset. it usually stems from a deep love for their granchildren and its better to have your grandchild loved then not loved. they were parents too once upon a time and are just trying to share.
now that i understand her situation and were she comes from we are able to connect.
i think that it is important for us parents to remember our selves in the process of teaching.
teaching our child is so joyful and we are so passionate but one day these kids are going to grow up. we are going to need something else for our selves as well. be it our jobs, hobbies or something otherwise we may become the annoying mother in law.
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