Santa--Do you do it?

[texaslady22]

Did you decide to "do" Santa? To what degree? How did you make your decision?

We say "Hi" to Santa at the mall and such, but we've told our son from a young age that Santa is fun but he's just pretend. We didn't feel comfortable saying something untrue to our child, and we wanted to focus on the more important aspects of the season.

[nhockaday]

You know, I was thinking of starting a post about this same thing. My son's father does not want to "lie" to Gabriel and say there is a Santa. It's a harmless lie that's just for fun, but it's still a lie, nonetheless. I remember how mad I was when I figured it out. I asked my mom why she lied to me about Santa and why she told me she never told lies to me. So on the one hand, I would like to tell him the truth, but on the other, how am I to expect him not to ruin it for all his friends who thinks there is a Santa? You know how kids are. They sometime can't keep secrets. It's sure to slip out. Other kids and teachers will ask, "what did you get from Santa?" What is he supposed to do, lie and act like his presents were from Santa, or tell the truth and say "nothing" and make everyone start asking questions? I would hate for it to slip out one day to some other kids, and then they start getting upset and asking their parents questions. Santa can be fun for children, and I would hate to spoil the fun for them.

I'm am interested in hearing everyone elses view on this. I really don't know what to do; at least I have another year to decide.

[parkman]

We do not plan on doing "Santa" with our children.  We plan to say he is just a character, like mickey mouse. When my husband's parents told him Santa was not real, his first response, was "what else are you lying to me about?"  I realize it is harmless....but I rather focus on the real reason for Christmas.

[THen]

I am like y'all.  We never pretended about Santa. 

When they were young, we never brought him up and they didn't think about him.  When they got older, people would ask them about Santa, or they'd see him all over at Christmas time.  At that point we told them the story of Santa and what people liked to pretend.  We also told them about the history of Santa.  Did you know that the Santa character came from Saint Nicholas.  He used to go around helping people.  The story goes that he threw money into a family's chimney so that they would have dowlry money for the girls.  (Thus, Saint Nick coming down the chimney.) Some say that the money hey threw fell in some stockings that here hanging to dry (and thus, the stockings). 

We also told them that each parent gets to decided what they want to tell their child, so that they were not to go around telling other kids about Santa.  When asked about Santa they were taught to politely say they didn't do Santa but enjoyed giving gifts to one another.  Sometimes they politely played along with the game, not to dissapoint the other person (usually with a wink my way).  We try to focus on the kindness of people wanting to give, and the love of God (that He would send His Son as a gift to us).  My boys have learned to love giving, too.  So, that's how we do Santa.   

[Sapna1322]

But i beleive u we should not lie to our kids.We can introduce to Santa when they grow up!!!!

Sapna

[aneta]

In my family from the time kids are very small, we celebrate Christmas with tons of activities so that there is no place for Santa.We make lots of ginger bread cookies and give them to our friends and neighbors. Kids help to distribute parcels with food to the poor together with their old toys.We make big birthday cake for Jesus and all of us make special presents for Him (poems,songs or resolutions ).And also we explain that Santa was a real person long time ago (Saint Nicolas)that helped people,but is used now to replace real meaning like taking Christ out of Christmas (X-mas).

[DomanMom]

When my mom was a little girl, her dad was REALLY big on Santa Claus. One year when she was in 3rd grade (so 8 or 9 years old!) a discussion came up on the playground at school about how Santa wasn't real, and my mom defended Santa, telling off all the other kids and saying how her dad says he's real and he would never lie to her. When she got home, she asked about it and her parents, assuming she was old enough to hear the truth, told her the reality. To say the least, she was crushed and humiliated, not only because her parents had been lying to her all these years and that the whole meaning of Christmas (to her at least) was all fake, but that she had made a fool of herself in front of all the other kids. So growing up, my family never played the whole Santa thing.

For us, as a compromise with Hunter's paternal Grandma (who is really big on Santa) we talk about Santa and say how he's a fun thing to pretend, and also talk about who Santa was (St. Nicholas). This year Hunter has learned about him a lot, like when he lived (A.D. 300's) and how he was a dedicated Christian (he was actually imprisoned once for his refusal to deny the name of Christ) and how he was known for his generosity (like with the story of the dowry down the chimney). With these things in mind, he learned why St. Nicholas has become a symbol of generosity and giving and why gift-giving and laying out stockings and such are a fun way to pretend and remind us of the generosity and Christ-like love this man showed. However we do tend to capitalize on the fact that the main reason why we give gifts is in remembrance of what God did for us, giving us the greatest gift of all, his only begotten son. That's our main focus during this season, Santa is just a little extra on the side.

So, he knows that Santa is not "real" (i.e. that he does not literally fly in a sled and does not literally put gifts in our living room) but at the same time, he's not going to go around telling little kids (or his Grandma) that Santa is a phony. To him, Santa is a fun game we play to remind us of a good man who lived long ago. When someone asks him about Santa he will simply think they're in on the game. We don't focus on Santa much because I would rather be concentrating on the true reason for the season, but at least his Grandma is happy and he's having a little fun playing a game and learning some history in the meantime.

I have a hard time justifying flat-out lying to him, that is, if my child ever asked me "Is Santa real?" (as Hunter did a few months ago) telling him "Sure he is!" Some people even keep telling their kids this even after they're old enough to ask such questions as "How does he get to all the children in the world in one night?" or "How does he live in the North Pole if it's so cold?" or "How does he get into houses that don't have chimneys?" I think that playing Santa is one thing, but to continue creating a bigger and bigger lie as the children grow older and inquire about it can be, to say the least, damaging once they figure out what has been going on the whole time. I strongly believe that parents should never lie to their kids, even if it's "just for fun" - the children often don't view it as fun, and it can destroy their confidence. But of course, each parent has to decide for themselves how they will or will not celebrate this tradition, we should just be sure we're deciding for ourselves rather than simply doing something because it's the way it's always been done.

[linzy]

As of right now I don't think we will be doing it with our son.  My husband feels very strongly about not lying to our son.  Although I have good memories of "Santa" when I was young I understand his point and likely will respect it.  We will probably tell our son about Santa in the context that it is a fun make-believe story.

[nhockaday]

I had no idea that so many people were forgoing the whole Santa thing.

[Grover]

I tell my kids about Santa. I feel that I'm not lying to them. Its the same thing about the Easter bunny and the Toothfairy thing. We all know that they don't exsist but the kids have alot to look forward to when we tell them these tales. When they mature they will have alot  of nice memories like we do.

[kamikam]

We do Santa with our kids as well. As i have had done when i was a child. I dont harbor any negative memories or affects of knowing santa wasnt real. As i child it gave me hope that all things are possible. My parents openly talked about money problems and situatons in front of us and i always had this feeling they didnt have money to get presents. so Santa was an escape from that so to speak. Even if mom and dad were broke if i was good i might still get a gift.

And i dont feel like that takes away from the true meening of christmas. Because we still go to church and foster those important issues in our children.

Just a question..
For those of you who dont do santa, have u discussed how they are to react to it when they enter school. Like if other children do belive in santa how will that go? when they tell another child its not real and the other child gets upset?  (please know im not trying to be objective.. just curisous and trying to be open minded to others beliefs)

[Nikolett]

      We don't do Santa with our kids. We don't tell them any pretend stories for true stories i.e. tooth fairy. I explain things like that for what they are as if they are totally unaware it comes over strange. I believe it's important kids know the difference between make-believe and  reality and that you never lie to them. I believe in a lot of spiritual things like miracles, angels, and more,  so they are not missing the excitement!
      They know the story of St.Nicolas and here in Hungary 6th of December is his day. Kids get a stocking of goodies from grandparents and that's it. Christmas is Christ's birthday and we keep it just that.
       Just on a side of memories, I grew up in a very pragmatic family in still communist country, so for my dad telling me of Father Frost it had to be a lie. One wintry night  as we left little window open in the bedroom for our "Santa" and went out to the balcony with firecrackers, I crept back in and "caught" my mom stuffing the presents under our pillows. I had to go straight to bed and forgo my present as a punishment Needless to say there were no  more "Santa" coming around

[THen]

Dear Kamikam,

Just a question..
For those of you who dont do santa, have u discussed how they are to react to it when they enter school. Like if other children do belive in santa how will that go? when they tell another child its not real and the other child gets upset?  (please know im not trying to be objective.. just curisous and trying to be open minded to others beliefs)

Yes, we've talked about not telling other children.  My children would not tell another child that Santa isn't real, as we have told them that it is up to each parent to decide what to tell their children.  It is the same with the toothfairy and Easter bunny.  (My kids actually still put their teeth in a "mailbox" and the "toothfairy" still comes, but they all know it is me.  Even the youngest.  They also know that I am rather forgetful, so they will sometimes remind me, "Don't forget about my tooth!"  )

We did Santa when I was a child and I do not harbor any bad feeling.  However, we (hubby and I) could not bring ourselves to lie to our children (even a little, as we've worked so hard to teach them not to).  But we do have traditional activities like stockings and gift giving and Easter egg coloring and such.  If we do a pretend activity, we just tell them it is pretend.  They still enjoy it.  We also thank God together for all the fun activities we get to do in remembering His birth or resurrection, or in the amazing way He created us (so we could have new teeth). 

[kamikam]

That is cute, my 5 yr old reminds me of stuff to. Especially when she wants something to drink.  I usualy say hold on let me finish putting this laundry away and then i forget and shes like MOMMMM. Kids dont let u forget anything!


I just went back and read ur previous message and i didnt even catch the part where u answered my question before i asked it. Sorry about that.

[texaslady22]

We've told my son that Santa is just for fun and just for pretend. We told him that it's not something you talk about with other children--some children believe in Santa, and that's up to their parents to decide.

Coincidentally, I don't think my son cares if Santa is real or not. We were driving past a huge inflatable Santa yesterday and he screamed "Look! There's Santa. Bring me presents, Santa!!"

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