"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." — Leo J. Burke.
Ah, blessed, luxurious sleep ... remember what it was like to get eight uninterrupted hours a night? If you have young children, it probably seems like a distant memory. According to a 2004 National Sleep Foundation poll, up to 69 percent of kids age 10 and under have trouble falling asleep and staying there. As for the other 31 percent — what's their secret? We turned to leading childhood sleep experts to help us uncover some surprising strategies that really work.
Babies: Sleep deprivation 101
Although newborns have a penchant for sleeping up to 18 hours a day, they do it in maddeningly short bursts around the clock. Here's how to get your little Rip Van Winkle to put in a few of those hours (preferably in a row) during the night.
Put your baby to bed when she's drowsy, not fast asleep
This is a tall order, especially for breastfeeding moms, but master the timing and you'll score some much-needed sack time. Babies who drift off on their own are more apt to fall asleep more quickly and learn how to soothe themselves to sleep easier, says Kim West, author of Good Night, Sleep Tight. West is a social worker in Annapolis, Maryland, as well as a professional sleep consultant who has helped more than 2,000 families nationwide soothe troubled sleepers.
Here's her advice: Starting when your newborn is 6 to 8 weeks old, create a sleepiness scale from 1 to 10 — 1 is full-throttle and 10 is out cold. Wait until your baby hits number 7, and lay her down to sleep. Less-vigorous arm and leg action along with diminished sucking power (from nourishing to soothing) are both reliable signs she's nearing sandland.
Try not to look your baby in the eye
Many babies are easily stimulated. A loving look from you can take them from tired to wired faster than you can say, "uh oh." Seeing your baby brighten at your glance is heartwarming at noon and discouraging at midnight.
Parents who make eye contact with sleepy babies inadvertently encourage them to snap out of their sleep zone, says Claire Lerner, director of parent education at Zero to Three, a nonprofit that promotes the health of infants and toddlers. "The more interaction that takes place between you and your baby during the night, the more motivation they have to get up."
So what should you do instead? Lerner suggests keeping it low-key. If you must enter your baby's sleep space at night, don't hold her gaze, chitchat, or serenade her with your favorite Rolling Stones hit. Keep your gaze on her belly and soothe her back to sleep with a soft voice and gentle touch.
Win her over to the dark side
"Lights push your child's biological 'go' button," says Elizabeth Pantley, author of the No-Cry Sleep Solution. On the flip side, darkness triggers the brain to release melatonin, a key sleep hormone.
If your baby sleeps more during the day than at night, help her to know the difference. During the day, allow plenty of sunlight into the house. Put your baby down for daytime naps in well-lighted rooms (unless she has trouble with naps). To induce nighttime sleepiness, install dimmers on the lights not only in your baby's room but also in other rooms where you both spend a lot of time. Lower the lights up to two hours before bedtime in the evening to set the mood. Nightlights are okay, but choose small, dim ones with a bluish tone (the vivid yellow and bright white varieties are more stimulating).
During the night, if your child wakes up, don't turn on the lights or carry her into a brightly lighted room. The shift from dark to light tells her brain it's time to rise and shine. Instead, soothe her back to sleep in her bedroom. If early morning sunlight prompts your child to wake too early or if she has trouble napping in the afternoon, install room-darkening shades.
Cut your tie to the baby monitor
A parent who jumps at every squeak transmitted over the baby monitor will teach her child to wake up more often, says Pantley. Instead, time your entrance so that you go to your child between the moment you know for sure she's awake and the moment she escalates into a full-blown howl. Waiting a few minutes gives her a chance to soothe herself back to sleep. And stepping in before a meltdown means that you'll catch her before she's too worked up to fall back asleep.
Either way, it's okay to turn down the sensitivity on your baby monitor. Set the volume so you'll hear her when she's distressed but you won't be privy to every gurgle. Eventually you may just want to turn the thing off.
Relax the rules on diaper changes
Resist the urge to change your baby every time she wakes up — you'll just jostle her awake even more. Instead, dress your baby in a high-quality, nighttime diaper at bedtime, says Pantley. When she wakes up, sniff to see if it's soiled and change only if you must. For sleepy nighttime changes, nothing wakes a baby faster than a cold, wet wipe. Try substituting a warm washcloth.
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