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Author Topic: "Lazy" baby?  (Read 13687 times)
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Sarah108
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« on: May 03, 2010, 12:52:32 PM »

Hi, my daughter is 13 months old, and she does not want to hold her own bottle, eat any food or put ANYTHING in her mouth! When I took her to the doctor (at 9 months), he was a little worried and told me to come back when she was 1 years old. I took her back, and then he laughed and said that he thinks she knows exactly what she is doing and has no developmental issues, she is just a little lazy.

She only puts organic puffs in her mouth (a snack I buy). She will not put ANYTHING else, not toys or anything. She refuses to hold her own bottle. If I am holding the bottle, before I put it into her mouth, she will even lean over and stick her mouth on the bottle and wait until it's lifted for her to drink. If I put her hands over the bottle, she will thrust them away.

I don't want her to have gross motor skill developmental issues, and really want the best for her but I don't know what to do? Any suggestions?


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PY
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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2010, 04:06:25 PM »

Is she around other kids frecuently? Does she has brothers or sisters?

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Sarah108
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« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2010, 07:07:09 PM »

No - neither I am afraid

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Niniedney
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« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2010, 09:41:02 PM »

Being around other kids always helps. I agree. But I think she isn't just lazy she is content. If she will not put a toy into her mouth maybe she doesn't want to explore it. Babies use their mouths as learning tools. Maybe buy her some new toys. Maybe buy her a sippy cup with handles she can hold herself. I can't tell you why she is doing this, only she can. And she can't talk right now so I guess you'll just have to play detective and figure it out. Lol. But if she seems fine in other areas I'm sure she is. I knew a girl the same age who's mother always held the bottle for her so she never had to or wanted to do it on her own. She is fine now.

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“It is true that we cannot make a genius. We can only give to teach child the chance to fulfil his potential possibilities.” - Maria Montessori
PY
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« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2010, 09:59:17 PM »

ok Don't worry, babies are all different maybe your beautiful baby is not motivated yet to do things in her own. I always believe girls develop different than boys, boy are more active and develop gross motor skills first than girls.
Maybe she is just talking her time and we need to respect that but we also can motivate her to do more stuff on her own.
Here are some tips;
- Sign her up for some baby group activities, of course if you can, like gymboree or little gym...stuff like that which are classes once or twice a week for an hour or so..mommy-baby.
-Also a nice choice is to take her to the library very often..because is a good opportunity for her to see bigger kids and learn from them besides reading time.
-Another fun activity is the zoo...there are more kids there you can find and also animals where she can get curious about them.
-Also  try to make some play days in your house , let her interact with other kids....children learn from other children (bad and good behavior).They love copy them.
-Try to do outdoor with her...trip tp the park where she can slide,walk...take a ball with you so she can kick the ball.
-I will suggest you to give her more option to do thing on her own, even if she doesn't do it at least ler her try,....just hildong her bottle maybe you just need to put thje bottle by her AND ASK HER TO GET THE BOTTLE WITH HER HAND AND TELL HER i NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM OR JUST LEAVE HER ALONE( in a safe place of course) and when you came back in 1 or two minutes maybe she will get it.

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PY
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« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2010, 10:02:05 PM »

Hope this helps kee up posted,
Also a great activity is let her play with blocks maybe she can build a tower of two or three blocks..take turns with her..and let het knock the tower down also.
Also rolling the ball back and forward is fun too.

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hypatia
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« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2010, 11:47:58 PM »

Hi Sarah
How does she react to finger food? Are you saying she would never pick the food in front of her, even if she's hungry? Do you feed her with a spoon?

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McDume
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« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2010, 12:40:39 AM »

At that age, I really don't think there's anything to worry about. Please don't think me cruel, but maybe you should just leave the bottle. If she wants to eat, she'll figure it out VERY quickly. She has to hold the bottle, and apparently she is capable? If not, she will learn very quickly.

It's the same with all development -- we much stifle our instinct to do EVERYTHING for our babies, or yes, they will come to expect interference.

Good luck. To me, this does not seem a 'serious' developmental problem... smile

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zaku
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« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2010, 12:58:16 AM »

When my son neglects to do something i always show him other babies doing the thing. may be vedios, that really helps. he will be motivated

good luck

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ShenLi
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« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2010, 06:54:27 AM »

Sarah - I don't think she's lazy or that there is a developmental problem.  Sounds to me like she's just exploring the reactions of the world around her and expressing her personality.  She's just choosing to explore reactions by not doing what is expected of her. 

My son used to pretend he couldn't do things and I would always help him, thinking he hadn't learned how to do it yet.  When I became pregnant, I was too tired to help him.  When he got tired of waiting for me to help him, he started doing things himself.  From what I observed, I knew he'd been pulling the wool over my eyes for a long time because he was very capable.  For instance, one morning I would get out of bed to change his clothes, when I finally managed to drag myself out of bed, I found him playing by himself and he had changed his own clothes. 

I have since learned that just because a child chooses not to do something doesn't mean he cannot do it.  Sometimes it's just a means of getting attention from you, sometimes they just want to see what your reaction will be.  I agree with PY and McDume - just leave her to her own devices for a while and you'll find she may start doing more things for herself.

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Sarah108
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« Reply #10 on: May 04, 2010, 08:07:54 AM »

Thank you all SO much for your help!

It is so important to always hold the highest image of your child (Pamela Hickein) and it's very disturbing when a doctor "brands" your little one.

The advice I have been given is FANTASTIC!
I am going to try do it all! - taking her outside more, giving her more finger food, taking her on playdates, playing with blocks and balls....

SO glad I am part of this fantastic forum with all you great moms to give so much good advice :-)

« Last Edit: May 04, 2010, 10:23:07 AM by Sarah108 » Logged
tatianna
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« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2010, 06:35:37 AM »

how is your little one doing?
did any of the advice help?

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Sarah108
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« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2010, 10:20:23 AM »

Hi Tatianna

Yes, she is doing really well thanks! I think her lack of desire to do the phyical stuff herself, was more a plea for me to spend more time with her (Im a full-time working mom). So I continue to spend as much time with her as I can, and I don't mind if she wants me to hold her bottle or to feed her. She is now feeding herself if we give her little bits to eat, and starting to walk which is great!

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Twinergy
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« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2010, 02:07:54 PM »

Hi Sarah,
If you continue to have concerns you might want to look into Sensory Processing Disorder, in this case hypersensitivy to oral input.  Here in the US you can seek evaluation and therapy free through the Special Education department of your local school district. 

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