For Crying Out Loud -- Pick Up Your Baby

[Trinity]

For Crying Out Loud -- Pick Up Your Baby

Parents should listen to their instincts and pick up their newborn babies when they cry, Queensland University of Technology researcher Professor Karen Thorpe said.

A joint study with QUT and the Riverton Early Parenting Centre has found many parents of infants up to 12 weeks, were uncertain about how best to settle their crying baby and whether or not it was "right" to pick them up.

"A lot of parents are unsure if they should pick up their baby when their baby cries," Professor Thorpe from QUT's Faculty of Education said.

"The answer is: you should. Babies in the first 12 weeks of their life need highly responsive parents. They want and need a parent that is responsive to their cries."

Professor Thorpe said the study was initiated by concerns by clinical nurses from the Riverton centre that parents were choosing to ignore their crying newborn for fear it would "spoil" their baby to pick them up.

Riverton clinical nurse and co-researcher Claire Halle said parents felt picking up their crying baby would create "bad habits" which would impact negatively on their child's behaviour in the future.

"Parent's felt torn between what they thought and what they felt was the right thing to do, and this uncertainty seemed to heighten their stress levels," Ms Halle said.

The study found about 20 per cent of first time parents and 30 per cent of experienced parents admitted they were uncertain about picking up their crying baby. It also revealed that almost 25 per cent of first time parents and just over 10 per cent of experienced parents believed picking up a crying baby would spoil them.

"One parent said 'I feel guilty for not picking him up when he cries'," Ms Halle said. "Another said 'frequent and sudden changes in baby's behaviour make it hard to judge...too much attention may spoil them'."

But Professor Thorpe said in the first three month's of a baby's life, having responsive parents was very important to the child's emotional and neurological development.

She said the study highlighted there was a problem because parents were getting mixed messages about how best to settle their newborn baby.

"We need to ensure nurses, educators and health professionals are providing parents with consistent and appropriate guidelines for caring for their baby," Professor Thorpe said.

"It is also important for parents to have the confidence to trust their instincts when it comes to caring for their baby."

The study, funded by the Royal Children's Hospital Foundation, is a joint collaboration between Dr Toni Dowd from QUT's School of Nursing, Professor Karen Thorpe and the Settling Team at the Riverton Early Parenting Centre.

The study was a unique experience for clinical nurses to work as co-researchers and demonstrated the value of engaging clinical staff, academics and parents in research.

[KL]

I also read somewhere that it's impossible to 'spoil' your baby younger than 6 months, so we shouldn't worry about over-indulging them.  After that age is another matter though...

[princessclem]

I think that it is absolutly essential to teach our children that we are there for them when they need us if they are crying at a young age it is trying to tell us something (for more on that go to Dunstanbaby.com) But if we ignore their cries they actually tend to be more needy and lack the confidence to calm themselves. babies that have been held and responded to are much better at self soothing and learn to be independent sooner because they know mommy will always be there and it is not something they are still searching for. PLEASE HELP YOUR BABY WHEN HE CRIES!! it is a different matter when you know the child is throwing a fit but you also dont have the feeling of oh my am I doing the right thing when your baby is having a fit. it is when your baby is needing something and you are not responding.

[staceycanada]

This si the very reason that I am always holding my newborns. They hardly ever cry because I anticipate their needs before they need to. Baby wearing is great for this reason.

[Joanna07]

Stacey, I agree, I used to wear my son 'till two months ago, now he refuses to sit in the wrap
I will never understand mothers who let their children cry it out for hours, this is barbaric in my opinion >

[ssunita]

I agree with all of u people.Donot let ur baby to cry.If u let them cry Ur spoiling them. There are so many people they believe  that by holding baby ur spoiling them.Babies do not know tantrums they only cry when they need any thing.Baby wearing is the best way to stay close to Ur baby.

[khatty]

Psychoanalytic Psychotherapsit Sue Gerhardt author of "Why Love Matters, how affection shapes a baby's brain" has compiled interesting research on the stress levels of baby's whose needs are not met. 

The book discusses the short term and long term affects of letting babies 'cry it out'.

The book is excellent support for parents who are feeling torn between picking up the baby and spoiling the baby.  The latest research makes it very very clear that babies need to be picked up and soothed, hands down, no question; 'crying it out' has significant negative implications. 

The book discusses emotional brain development which has a fascinating connection to the brain development used with learning, such as the math and reading focus on this forum. 

I loved the book both because it helped me gain confidence in my parenting and also because it provided lots of knowledge on how the brain develops, both intellectually and emotionally. 

[PY]

I guess the first year babies need to feel love and they need a lot of atention in the house, When new born babies cry is they need hel, probably they are hungry or, they need a diaper change,or they don't feel goog, there is always a reason!! And we as parents need to help them!

[Nikita]

I wrote about this in a recent thread, but have more info now. There's a recent British documentary you might want to research on the net, called "Bringing up baby", which experimentally compares 3 different newborn rearing methods. I'd say most of us on here are Dr Spock or Continuum Concept method parents, or somewhere in between. This doco horrified many people, me included, due to the 1st method tested...the Truby King 1950's method. You should read up on this... it's awful....feed bub every 4 hours, no eye contact, change its bum, then down to sleep. Minimum physical contact.. no love. Pop the kid in the pram in the garden all day and close the door, even in winter, with foxes lurking about. And some people still use this method. Apparently it is the best method for good sleep routine and well-behaved predictable babies, but at what cost???

[Trinity]

Nikita,

I just read this article http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25107821-23289,00.html.  That is horrifying!!!!

[juicyfruits]

with reference from the article, i think this nanny Verity is crazy..she must have a bad childhood and definately not fit to take care of babies!! Quote:

"I can't understand why anybody wants to cuddle a baby or pick a baby up," she said. "A baby doesn't want to be touched all the time. All they want is to be left alone to grow."

"The biggest mistake parents can make is to allow a baby to dictate to them. A baby should fit into your way of life, not you into its."

[Nikita]

And as well as the lack of love (physical touch), which I was under the belief can kill a baby or make them fail to thrive, this metnhod means no stimulation whatsoever. Nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to do..just absolute boredom. that's cruel too.

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