getting baby to sleep through the night

[Raising Ethan]

It was an absolute challenge to get Ethan to sleep through the night. All three of us were so exhausted/irritable because of the frequent night wakings and lack of sleep. Only after I stopped nursing at 8 1/2  months old, had he finally started to sometimes sleep through the night. I did everything possible to set the scene. I wish I didn't have to go through all these steps but I became desperate and some of these suggestions were listed in several books/articles I've read and some were just added on by me.

 

What I did:

- Provide a consistent bed time routine, that included dinner, his favorite video series, bottle, then bath (as needed), PJ/Diaper change, rocking while singing him "Twinkle Twinkle" and placing him in his crib drowsy but still awake. Now that he's a year old, no more rocking or Twinkle. He always cried when I put him down, so I had to place my hand on his back until he fell asleep (I still do) I'm trying to break this habit slowly so that he requires less and less of my help.

- Placed a fan to wipe out any background noise.

- Completely blocked the large pretty window with park view using large cardboard/tape/block out curtains (made sure no light escaped through the sides)

- Have the same dependant soft Teddy toy in his crib for sleeping only. I rub him often in my shirt so that the scent of me is on Teddy and Ethan could still smell me when I leave the room.

- Bought wireless headphones to watch movies as loud as we wanted to without disturbing him.

- To our best efforts, kept the house as quiet as possible during night/naps. (Please see the section on Naps)

- Made sure the room temperature was alright for him (74 degrees) and dressed him accordingly. We live in FL,  so we're used to warm weather and I noticed that if the room was warm and cozy he slept better but if it was cooler, he woke up more. I try not to put the AC on at night because it seems to disrupt him.  If the heat needs to be on, I put the humidifier on because the air gets drier.

- Waiting 15-20 minutes to go in if he wakes up during the night or too early. Often he'll just put himself back to sleep.

 

What I did wrong before:

- Placing him to bed too late, which was 7:30 pm. I found that if I put him to bed earlier at 7:00 he actually slept longer. He now sleeps an average of 12 hours a night. I know many other babies that don't need to go to sleep so early but Ethan does, so you need to find a schedule that works best for your baby. Each baby is truly different.

- I tried to read him a story before placing him to bed but it got him more excited instead of drowsy, so I stopped.

- Letting him pass out in my arms or with a bottle or being rocked or in a swing (basically anything that assisted him became his sleeping addiction/crutch)

- Getting him up as soon as I heard him cry (because he had ever learned to put himself back to sleep) I thought I was being a "good" mom by not letting him cry but it was the opposite.

- Not listening to everyone else when they told me to just let him cry (see by not letting him cry, he became dependent on me to put him back to sleep every time he woke up)

- Giving him a pacifier became a BIG mistake because he would often cry throughout the night when it fell out of his mouth. I've also read that the quality of sleep is not as good with the pacifier vs. without one. I would never recommend giving one to any baby, besides what did they use before a pacifier was invented?? Nothing, babies learned to soothe themselves and I recall reading that they slept longer/deeper.

- Letting him cry too long because I followed a wrong sleeping method like the 3 Day Sleep Easy Solution. It had harmful effects on him where he screamed everytime we left 2 feet from him or if we laid him down, even to change a diaper because he thought we would abandon him again. It never did help him "train" how to fall asleep longer and just made him angrier and resist sleeping.

[cybermommy]

I'm glad that you have managed to get him to sleep 12 hours at night--that was a major accomplishment! I responded more on your other thread about naps. You are right--every baby is different. We went through many of the same steps that you did, but what worked for us was somewhat different, since crying it out led to 2 hour crying marathons. You were wise to not trust any one method or philosophy but recognize that your child is unique.

[Joha]

Raising Ethan,

I'm glad you found some methods that worked for you. As you said babies are different and something that works for one doesn't work for the other.

Our daughter has been sleeping through the night since she was 6 weeks old. We followed "Baby Wise" . It mainly talks about the importance of full feedings since newborns fall to sleep so often while they are eating. To be honest this was the only thing we did. We actually tried to get her used to noise so she wouldn't wake up easily because of noise.  I have four friends that also followed Baby Wise and it also worked for them.

[trulypearl]

Ahh....getting baby to sleep through the night.  The next big question people ask you after, "Are you breastfeeding your child?" Every parent dreams of the day their baby can sleep through the night meaning sleeping straight at least for eight hours.   We often hear those mothers who brags and says their child slept through the night at 6 weeks old for even yet the day they came home from the hospital.  My child like most children did not start sleeping through the night consistantly until the past 3 weeks.  He would sleep through the night meaning 9-10 hours for his age occassionally at 9 months.  I read, research, and followed everything out there about how to get baby to sleep through the night.  I think no matter what you do, its all about having a routine. Here's what we did.  We did this since he was four months old, but he didn't sleep through the night until recently. 

1. At 7:30 we would get ready.  We ge into his nursery where he sleeps alone.
2. Sit on the rocker on my lap and we would read 2-3 stories depending on how tired he is.
3. We would then turn on our white noise CD.
4. Dim the lights.
5. Change diaper.
6. Put on his PJs and wearable blanket.
7. Daddy and I give him kissess and hugs and tell him what a good boy he wa today and how much we love him.
8. I lay him down in his crib.
9. Hand him his blanket with a stuff animal head attached to it.
10. Tell him night night and I will see him tomorrow morning.

At first he would cry and cry for about 15 minutes.  Then I would go into the room because it breaks my heart to see him cry for too long.  After a week of crying, he would just lay down and roll around until he falls asleep on his own when we put him down.  After being able to fall alseep on his own, he slept through the night.  I think it was because he finally learned how to sleep without us having to be there to pat him, rock him, etc to sleep.

[rose08]

Thank you for your tips on how you got your baby to sleep. I know that I have been doing a lot of things wrong...eg.

- letting her fall asleep on my breast
- not having a regular schedule
- not having quiet time before sleep

and more...

But I have been doing what I needed to to keep sane, I can't listen to her cry for too long or I will get upset too.

[Joha]

Schedule, schedule, schedule, I think this is a key element on this whole process. Babies need rutines, because they need bounderies (this words sounds stronger that it really is in this case ) which they translate in security.

All our babies are different and as rose08, we need to do whatever will help us to stay sane so we can be better parents. If you would like to implement a regular schedule, you need to create a rutine. In our case starts with a bath, then massage, pj's and the she gets fed. Once she starts with solids, we are thinking about feeding her, giving her a bath, massage, pj's, reading and night, night!  We try to have her in her crib by 7:30 p.m., but sometimes it is a little bit later, sometimes a bit earlier.

[juicyfruits]

rose08

i have done the exact wrong things as you. My son can only goes to sleep when he is in bed with us. And he crawl to my chest to sleep. Else, I have to rock him my arms to get him into the mood. Its so tiring... i really dont know hw hw hw to put him in the crib. The moment he steps inside the crib, he will stand up and demand to be carried. Crying start. Same here, i will get upset if he cries too much and i dont want him to feel dtress about sleeping. Its seems so easy seeing others do it and envy that some dont have any problem getting their child to sleep at all.

[juicyfruits]

Say to say..We never have a quiet moment time of our own as long as he is not sleep. And i really wish to watch TV, relax during the evening time...

[Joha]

fruityfruit8,

I can feel your frustation and your desire that it was much easier. You can't change what you have done so far and as every parent you have done what you feel is best for your child at that moment.   I have to say though you need to do something for you too, so that way you don't feel tired all the time. My guess is you don't get much sleep having you baby sleeping on your chest. I have a friend that wasn't getting any sleep because of her baby's sleeping habits. I lent her this book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. I never read the book because we didn't need it, but I had it handy just in case. Anything that keeps us sane right?  My friend read it, did what the book says and she couldn't thank me enough (not that I worte the book, but for lending it to her) Her baby was already 7 months old, so he had his habits, but she was able to change them and now everybody is happy. The book is like US$ 11 in amazon.com, maybe you can read it, see if it is something that would fit your parenting style. If it works, great! and if it doesn't that is ok too, you only lost US$11 right?

One other friend has been sleeping with her daughter for the last 4 years. Not only she doesn't sleep, but her marriage is in trouble because now she has to sleep with her daughter in her daughter's bed so she doesn's spend much time with her husband. 

This is the link to the book, in ase you want to check it out.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743201639

Good luck in this journey! 

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