how we make babies???

[PY]

I can not imagine explaining my daughter in the future "how me make babies"...I heard some parents have the same problem, how we can explain a 5-6-7...year old child...how we (parents) bring babies to this world?without lying to them.

[zoe22]

it's a hard task trust me. I recently had a baby and my older one who's 5.5, asked me if I ate the baby! I initially tried to change the topic so many times, but he was persistent and like you, I didn't want to lie to him, so I explained it to him this way ;

'when 2 adults like each other a lot, they get married and after getting married, they have a special cuddle and God gives them a little baby and because the baby is really special, has to stay in mommy's tummy till she's big enough to come out.'

the question then goes, so how does the baby come out (that's even worse)I just said to him

'mommy needs to go to the hospital and the nice doctor helps mommy bring out the baby'

I know it's not a full explanation of everything that happens, he seemed to be happy with that. I have to think of something fast cos he's getting older and would want to know what the 'special cuddle' is all about!!!

[purplefungi]

Since I'm a totally crude person and so is my husband, I've decided that I'm just going to explain things how they really happen. I feel comfortable with this especially when the children might see animals do the deed naturally. It will depend on the age of the child of how in-depth I will go. ...But take my words with a grain of salt since I am an aspiring nurse midwife.

[Joha]

Since I'm a totally crude person and so is my husband, I've decided that I'm just going to explain things how they really happen. I feel comfortable with this especially when the children might see animals do the deed naturally. It will depend on the age of the child of how in-depth I will go. ...But take my words with a grain of salt since I am an aspiring nurse midwife.

I have a long way to go for that, but I would love to know how this goes with your children because that is the approach I would like to take. I say that know, we would see what really happens once I'm in the situation.  I think is good to think about it ahead of time so you get to discuss it with your spose (so you are in the same page) and you will be ready, because is going to come sooner or later. 

[joyMegha]

I agree we must not lie to them; because that amounts to manipulation.
Manipulation can backfire.

Probably we can try to give them some analogy; although I'm unable to come-up with immediately.

Follow-up questions may still arise in their minds; but they may be easier to handle - I hope.

[purplefungi]

I know that when I was at the library, I saw several childrens books that explain the process of sex, pregnancy, and birth. One book had some cartoon sperm and a cartoon placenta. It was done very professionally, and I was quite impressed with it. I think that the name is Baby on the Way
Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Way-Sears-Children-Library/dp/0316787671/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_i

[belovedlily]

My husband and I have talked about this topic a lot because when he grew up his dad ignored him everytime he asked him questions like that or anything about sex and it really cause a huge curiosity that was satisfied by asking his peers and brothers and believe me you can get some really messed up answers that way.  On the other hand my mom was very straight forward with me and I could talk to her about everything and anything and I have never felt like I had to find answers through other people in fact became the person for my friends to ask questions to and I could ask my mom for them.    I have taken many college biology courses and am not afraid to be upfront and very serious with my child as soon as he starts asking questions.  I personally think the younger they are the more innocent they are and can handle knowledge about human body parts and functions more readily than a child who is starting to feel hormones and is very confused.  I would take it as a huge learning oportunity to talk about all the amazing functions of a woman's body and the amazing power to give life.  I'm not saying show them indecent pictures or anything but there are great textbooks and diagrams that can help explain things.  Personally I will always include my morals in the explaining process.  For example "Son, babies are ideally made in a marriage.  Even if that doesn't always happen, it is always best to be married before making a baby."  Of course that's the short exmaple...

[rose08]

I think i will just tell my child the truth, modified. I know a friend who did this with her two sons and they were completely fine with it. She explained to them how they grow and how they are a miracle. A good idea is to get the child to plant a seed and explain to them as the seed grows how it is similar to a baby.

Growing up I could never talk to my mum about sex and had to learn about it by sneaking her mills and boon books

I want my daughter to be able to have an open and honest relationship with me.

[purplefungi]

I like the honesty side of things!

[maggiegoh]

I explain all this to my 4 years old girl with few anatomy pictures, as a Biology lesson. Male and female reproductive system, sperms and ovum, combination of sperm and ovum, fetus growing process, of course how the baby came out. I also tell her how to protect ourself as a girl.

For my opinion, It's better to tell them earlier, when we tell them earlier, only adult felt uncomfortable or embarrassing, But if we tell them when they are bigger, both adult and children will felt uncomfortable or embarrassing. If they already know the answer they will never go and find out the answer by themself, or even try it out.

[KUAngie]

I know that when I was at the library, I saw several childrens books that explain the process of sex, pregnancy, and birth. One book had some cartoon sperm and a cartoon placenta. It was done very professionally, and I was quite impressed with it. I think that the name is Baby on the Way
Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Way-Sears-Children-Library/dp/0316787671/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_i

Love that book.  We checked it out from the library multiple times when I was pg with ds.  We also liked "What baby needs," by Dr. Sears.  Both were very open, and I liked it's natural approach to breadtfeeding, as I knew my daughter would have questions about that.

I agree that honesty is the best policy- not to make up white lies to make it easier for the parent.  I'm a nurse, so I guess I view it as all very natural and matter of fact.  I think it is good to talk about it so the child does not grow up ashamed or embarrased about it.

My daughter asked recently "how the baby came out of Mommy's belly."  I told her that baby brother was born in the hospital, that the doctor made a small cut in Mommy's belly and pulled him out (c/s for breech.)  Then she asked if she was born the same way.  So we had to have the whole vagina discussion, where it was located etc.  So of course, she had to find it on herself- which is OK for her to know what one is now, than at 13.  We've talked about the whole good touch- bad touch.  We haven't gotten into sex talks- that can wait until a little bit later.

Our local children's hospital has a great class called "Growing up girl/boy," for the pre-pubescent age kid to attend with their parent.  It may be helpfeul for parents who are embarrassed to broach the subject.

Angie

[Kimba15]

I personally think it is very important to tell the truth, and to remember that there is nothing embarrassing about how humans reproduce. I don't want my child hearing about sex from her school friends, I want her to know that making a baby is a very special process between a mummy/mommy and a daddy. I also think that it is important to tell the truth so she realises that there is nothing that is wrong or shameful about her body.

My mum taught me about sex in a very frank and honest way (probably becase she was a nurse) and I always knew i could ask her about anything and i have grown up with no issues about sex, my grandmother on the other hand never talked about sex and taught all her children that it was 'dirty' thing and they all grew up with issues around 'sex'.

I would rather my child have a healthy knowledge of intercourse and how baies are made than one that has been misconstrued by others. A great book for parents to read to their children is 'Where did I come from' Its great book and discusses reproduction in a very frank, no-nonsence way that is to the point and includes the 9 months of gestation.

Kimba

[Malathi]

Honesty with the science part = i think this combination would work perfectly and also save us from any embarrasing situations which the kid might create in front of others ....

[purplefungi]

KUAngie, I'm a nurse too! I think it has helped me be more open about things. I used to be a bit shy.

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