Hug to child.

[Seema]

Hi.
 
One should hug their child, it is very necessary for the mental, emotional growth of the child.. It is not necessary to hug the child on the special occasions, or when he wins any prize, Hug the child, when there is no reason.

When things go wrong, a hubh can say more than thousand words, Hus is non verbal heart to heart non-verbal from of communication always works and is never misunderstood.


seema.....

[Preetypreeti]

Hi

Very true, we need to express our feelings.Very same like a touch therapy.Child is a clay we can mould the clay in what ever shape we want.So to make him feel emotionswe need to care him, touch him, kiss him .
Mothers lap is very secure and warm place for any child.
 Be always thereto realise that your are there for him.

Regards
Preeti

[Sapna1322]

I totally agree with u that hugging and kissing is important to make them secure.But it's very difficult to judge difference between hugging and pampering.If u hug and love for more time than children take that they are being pampered.So while teaching or if they give correct answer to ur questions than at that time u should hug them and love them so that it will help them 2 learn faster.But u should not hug them for more than few seconds while teaching.Because they will get pamper than .

Sapna

[Skyrider]

I totally agree with u that hugging and kissing is important to make them secure.But it's very difficult to judge difference between hugging and pampering.If u hug and love for more time than children take that they are being pampered.So while teaching or if they give correct answer to ur questions than at that time u should hug them and love them so that it will help them 2 learn faster.But u should not hug them for more than few seconds while teaching.Because they will get pamper than .

Sapna

Hi Sapna,

Hugs will NEVER spoil or pamper a child. Pampering and spoiling them will. 

[MomPD]

I agree. Hugs will never spoil a child. However, at what time you give a hug is important. If the child has done something wrong, then we need to be strict. However, if the child then comes to say sorry, a hug will make the child happy and confident.

What say!

[Skyrider]

Good point!

Something I've had good success with my children is this. I stomp into where ever they, look them RIGHT in the eye, and they will think I'm angry about something. I'll call one by name, put my hands on his shoulders and give him a good hug. I do this when they least expect it, maybe once every 6 months and they surely know I love them. In fact, it's been a while since I did it, I go do it right now and tell you what happened.

Hold on . . . .

That was quick, eh?

It didn't effect him as much as it did his brother. His brother said, "Man! I was scared." They both got hugs. :-) But I'm a hugger and the hugs aren't as special as they are reaffirming of the person they are. They KNOW I love them and am vitally interested in their lives, and the effect it has on them is to do whatever they can to make me proud of them.

Now, as for your other matter, if they have done something wrong I am a FIRM believer in the corporal punishment method. I've raised six kids, three of each, and I can tell you that the ones that didn't get it versus the ones who did is like day and night. I have had two families due to divorce. :-/ But the spankings should be just that, and they must sting like fire! Otherwise, you only make them angry with you! They have to feel remorse. Rarely should they leave a mark, but if they do, it's on the proper place of the buttocks and it will heal. It's just a bruise. I tell them before hand how many smacks and warn them that if they put their hands in the way, that one will not count, and if they move out of the way, we'll have to start over. Teaches them a lot of endurance and self control. NEVER use the hand you love them with. Use a rod.

Lying receives the most blows - ten of them. Lying is not tolerated at all. Stealing the same thing. But in my case, I can only remember one of them getting it for stealing. He had connected the cable up when I told the company to disconnect it. It was wasting our time and the programming itself was intolerable. So, when I caught them all watching it one day, one got a spanking for hiding the lie, and the other got it for lying and stealing the cable service.

I hold them until their crying is over. They know how much they are loved, but the behavior is NOT to be tolerated at all. We talk about it too, but "talk is cheap." It will NOT raise very proper children, and sad to say, I have that proof in the bag :-(  times two.  Everyone will tell you that my last kids were better than my first, and the difference is remarkable both in terms of what kind of people they turned out to be (and are turning out to be), and the respect and love between us. It's lasting.

Sky~

[Nikolett]

HI Sky,
you sound like a good dad.  How old are your last boys? The cable story indicates they are not preschoolers anymore?
People are afraid to alienate their kids by disciplining where it is just the opposite,you bond and have a closer relationship if you do.
I have been spoiling my kids with too much "understanding" and trying to set my standard right. I think it's harder for a mom.
Respectfully,

[Skyrider]

Hi Nicolet,

Thanks for the compliment of being a good dad. I WANT to be, so I work at it. My last two are both boys 15 and 14 years old already. They are very comfortable in my love for them and yet even as 100% boys they know they can talk to me about absolutely anything. And I trust them completely. It's been quite some time since either one of them got a spanking. But there is no other way so successful. I could write a book. 

[ksomom]

Good post.  I agree that hugging and showing affection is vital to the development of a healthy child!  I let love be my guide when raising my child, with a bit of common sense and patient thought to help steer the course.   I think every child is different and that different methods of parenting are thus warranted.  I don't believe that any restriction or limits on the time or timing of a hug is necessary, nor that it would spoil the child.  Then again, I suppose an exception to this is avoiding making the hug a reinforcement or reward for negative behavior... but I don't think I've ever heard of that being done. 

[winth]

I hug and kiss my boys every night before bedtime.

My DS1 will also ask for hugs when he ask for forgiveness about something. It's an indication that I love him. He gets really emotional if I don't hug him.

Some nights if I forget to hug him before his bedtime, he would wake up in the middle of the night and wants me to make up for it by hugging him.

[mandiq]

I think if a parent needs to spank a child then they have failed.  Likewise, there should never be marks left on a child because the one on their heart will be deeper. 

I child learns what he sees and you hold the example for your child because a child mimics and molds  to what they have experienced.

We as parents are shaping the future and we  must show tolerance in order to gain tolerence in this world. 

[Swati Kumar]

very true, I hug my child very often for no reason or rhyme.
actually my 6 yr old nephew was also hugged and kissed a lot.but now i see that he refuses to stay alone in a room,neitherdoes  he like to be touched or patted now .we have a little face-off in that matter.is it natural for kids to behave that way,as they grow.

Hi.
 
One should hug their child, it is very necessary for the mental, emotional growth of the child.. It is not necessary to hug the child on the special occasions, or when he wins any prize, Hug the child, when there is no reason.

When things go wrong, a hubh can say more than thousand words, Hus is non verbal heart to heart non-verbal from of communication always works and is never misunderstood.


seema.....

[Skyrider]

very true, I hug my child very often for no reason or rhyme.
actually my 6 yr old nephew was also hugged and kissed a lot.but now i see that he refuses to stay alone in a room,neitherdoes  he like to be touched or patted now .we have a little face-off in that matter.is it natural for kids to behave that way,as they grow.

I would suspect something else is wrong in the case of your nephew. But in any case, just grab a child, play with him, read him a book or give a horse ride or anything he enjoys while in your lap and then give him hugs and talk to him about it. My oldest son was 17 when he decided that hugs from dad weren't cool. Another time I'll tell you about that, but my brother had the same problem with his son at about the same age. Neither my brother nor I gave up. We just kept hugging them and after only a little while they realized it WAS cool.

When my oldest son was in college a bunch of his buddies came over and were going skiing. I gave him a hug and a peck up along side his head and later he told me that one of his buddies said, "Gee! I would never do that with MY dad!" My son said, "If you had a dad like mine, you'd be glad to." I still walk around on my eye-lashes over that one.

Kids don't know what they need. Just hug'em! They need'em.

Sky~

[Jake]

I used to hug my kids and because my husband worked abroad I used to let them sleep with me .We had great fun in bed always inturn who sleeps in the middle.the older one was 17 when he did not want to sleep with me (when he had a girlfriend)They never gave me trouble when their father comes they go to their bed.Now i am raising my grandson he is Autistic and when my husband is away i sleep with him .I hug him and give him kisses.he has speech delay, when we meet new people and tell him give a hug or a kiss he give it.I think that giving hugs and kisses worked he is sociableand gives a nice smile instead of words.

[rixu]

hugging to your little one is really important. it is a non verbal communication that shows how much they love each other.
hugs give the self confidence to the little child.

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