teaching good habits / behaviours / manners to 12 month old

[mtb999]

Hi!  I was wondering if any parents had practical suggestions for teaching good habits (eg packing up toys), teaching good behaviour and manners to a 12 month old ... especially things that worked with your children!

I have been saying to her say "ta" - an aussie slang for please or thank-you - when I offer her a treat (and try and remeber to sign it).  Occasionally she'll repeat it.  She's not talking yet just babbling.

One friend suggested that I should say "it's time to pack our toys" (in a bright enthusiastic manner) before putting her toys in their box, in the hope that eventually she'll put things in the box with me.  She pulls things out readily but doesn't ever put them back in!

[hypatia]

12 months old was the stage where I started thinking hard about education. The fact that my daughter was walking and discovered she could do many things and also found her voice 
The key is that they model what you do and how you react. I'm quite firm with my baby but there's no screaming and I've rarely given her a spank. But it takes a lot of consistency: always explaining the rules, bending down at their level, not expecting too much from them (i.e. you know there'll be a meltdown at some stage if they miss on a nap or you take them out for too long or if they're bored...).. and limiting how many times you say NO, as this is unbearable for the child if he hears no all day! Rules have to be strict otherwise the child will test you.
Oh, and diversion is what works the best at that age.

[patreiche]

Playing with one toy at a time and putting it away when you are done is a nice rule. They probably have to be at least 18 mos to two years for this rule. Makes for a happier parent not to have to pick up a mess all the time. I think you can demonstrate the rule for your child at this age.

[laughingwater]

My daughter loves taking things out of and putting them back into containers. I started expecting her to put her toys away after herself as soon as she was able to crawl and take them out - at around 7 months or so. I never punished her for not doing it, but I was consistent that before she started a new activity she had to put the toys she was playing with back away. I made it into a game, gave her lots of encouragement, and clapped when she did it. Initially I had to point out each toy one at a time - see the blue block, pick it up and put it in the box, good job, now see the yellow block, pick it up and put it in the box, etc. I had a great experience when she was 11 months and we visited family and she put all the toys away after herself - totally impressed them. She is now 18 months, and is more opinionated, so it is a bit harder for me to always get her cooperation, but I'm still consistent in what I expect. She may not begin a new activity until the last one is put away.
Regarding manners I model what I expect of her. Every time I hand her something I expect her to say "thank you" and if she doesn't then I say if for her. I also expect her to say "please" whenever she is asking for something. When she forgets I say it for her and she usually copies me and says it.  When she wants to get out of her chair instead of saying Out! she has to say "please may I be excused". I started by having her repeat one word at a time after me. Now if she forgets, then I tell her that she needs to ask nicely and she says the whole sentence.  She recently had me laughing because she got stuck on saying the alphabet in the middle of her request to get out and said "Please may I be c d e excused!" Too funny!
I tell her what I expect, I model the behavior I expect, and I am consistent. It has worked so far.

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