need help with parenting books

[diva7]

Hi all.

 I have a 3.5 year old that is having extreme personality changes, some changes are: being destructive,very angry most of the time and having a very short attention span incomparison to before. I believe this might be due to a new arrival of her baby sister??   So does anyone have any book recommondation about kids and these changes that are happening in their life? She is not jealous of her sister and loves her to bits.

[Twinergy]

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen will give you lots of ideas for creating playful I love you rituals and a more playful atmosphere to encourage cooperation during power struggles.  He even discusses your exact situation and how play can help.  It's all about connection and creating quality time with your child.  Here is an extended preview which is long enough to give you the basic theory and a few examples.  Reading the book will give you more examples that cover more scenarios but may not be necessary if you are super busy right now.

Another book I really like is Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser because it has lots of real life scenarios of discipline techniques that connect with the child.  Their toolbox is summarized in 13 pages  226-239 and may be a good reference point for a busy parent with a toddler and a newborn. It is a reference book designed to pick up and read a section at a time rather than cover to cover.  If you have it already it might be worth skimming the contents for other sections that might apply to your situation.  My favorite sections are part 2 children's feelings, part 4 difficult behavior and chapters 23-24 on social learning.

[diva7]

Thanks Twinergy for your recommendations. Both books seem to be 'a must read". Becoming the parent you want to be I have heard about it but havent read it. I will get a hold of and read it when bub is asleep. I liek the idea of having a quick reference section, it will be handy with a newborn and the sections you have listed are appealing and what I would liek to learn more about.

I am after a book that is specifically about toddlers adjusting to having  sibling/s and how to deal with the changes that they are facing.  As atm my daughter is regressing, the independance and confidence is gone and she sometimes get so clingy. She is going through major changes and I would liek to know what she is going through so I can help her get through this stage.

[Twinergy]

I forgot to mention (and thought I did )... Becoming the Parent chapter 28 Sibilig Relationships discusses new babies and older sibblings. 

[diva7]

Thanks Twinergy, which do you recommend me reading first?

[Twinergy]

The preview for Playful Parenting at google books was about 50 pages when I read it and is enough to get the theory.  Unless they have shortened the preview that and a little creativity should be enough to use it.  I also recommend skimming the table of contents, it helps to get you thinking about different applications. The book is a little repetative, maybe read the whole thing later when you have more free time.  Here are a couple threads from the mothering forum with more examples:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1167269
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1184098

You may be able to get through this online reading before you have a copy of Becoming the Parent.  Once you have a copy then I recommend concentrating on pp 223-239 and chapter 28 first, then just read from whichever book/topic interests you.  I have read parts of Becoming the parent 3 times now, I just keep coming back to learn and apply new tricks as my kids get older. There are some other parts I haven't looked at yet.  BTW I dind't find the chapter on sleep worth my time.

[LizzyBee]

Thanks for these recommendations, I was thinking I should read some books about siblings myself.

[Twinergy]

There is another book that is on my list to read, Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.  I can't exactly recommend it since I haven't read it, but I think it is worth looking at reviews.  I did starteding another book by the same authors, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (preview) and really liked what I was reading but found it more geared toward older children.  I put that book down after a few pages then read Becoming the Parent and found that better suited talking to toddlers and preschoolers.  But both books seemed very complementary and similar in approach. 

[2010BEBES]

Twinergy,
I will take the time to look into the books you recomend. I peek on Becoming the Parent...' and it seems full of tips
What a good title por a parents guide: Playful parenting. I think thet instead of yelling or getting angry with your child, 'sometimes' sharing and playing with him will do the trick and will make him behave.
Thanks for the references.

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