Need advice on preparing daughter for new sibling

[laughingwater]

My daughter is now 15 months and I am expecting our second child in 4 months. My daughter and I spend all day every day together. She is an outgowing, social little girl, but still very attached to me.  I am trying to prepare her for having a new sibling and would love some advice from those who have gone through this.  I have been telling her that we are going to be having a new baby and that she will be the big sister. I got her a baby doll, which she loves - she wraps it in her blanket, feeds it milk and snacks, carries it around the house, and hugs and kisses her doll - then when she is finished playing she holds her doll by the foot and throws it on the floor - which I guess toddlers are apt to do.  Since she is currently an only child she doesn't get much interaction with other children. We attend a play group once a week, but she is the youngest child there, so the other children accomodate her. She has not yet played with childern younger than herself so she hasn't had any practice being the "big" girl.  Is there anything else that I should do to prepare her? Are there any specific books that I should read with her?  Thanks!

[Krista G]

The hardest part about having my second child 17 months after the first was that she didn't understand how to be gentle with the new baby.  Maybe you can practice touching the baby doll softly so the new baby doesn't get hurt.

When the baby comes you can tell you baby that she is your big helper and ask her to get you diapers, blankets and so forth.  Praise her for being your big helper.  You may want to have a talk about it before that this will be her baby too and you really need her to help you.  You can always read to her while you feed the new baby.  This is good for both of your children.  You can practice singing songs together to greet your new baby.

[laughingwater]

I have spent alot of time teaching my daughter how to be gentle. We have a cat and she loves her cat, but has to always pet him gently or he will run away. In general she does pretty good. I have also explained to her that I have a baby in my belly and she loves to rub and kiss my belly and she is very gentle. I guess my next step is to expect her to treat her baby doll gently.

I have also been working on teaching her how to be my big helper.  When we do laundry she has specific tasks she knows are her tasks to help me with - crawling into the hamper and pulling the clean laundy out so that I can fold it, and putting her clothes away in the appropriate spots. I need to expand this to move areas of our life.  She loves to help.  I think I am also going to take her shopping with me when I get some of the new babies things and let her choose them and then let her put them in a special place at home for the new baby.

I hadn't thought about telling her that this was her baby too. I think that is a great idea. And I love the ideas about reading to her while feeding the new baby and singing songs together to greet the baby. Thanks Krista!

[Krista G]

Laughingwater,

You are so blessed.  Having young children and new babies is a very special time of our lives.  Although every stage is nice, I miss when my kids were smaller.  When you are just beginning a family it is so exciting.  With the arrival of each of my children we were always excited.  After a period of a few months the one who had been the baby would need some extra loving and reassuring but they were never jealous.  A sibling is the greatest gift you can give your children.  You are lucky that you are already so wise as to how to teach your children.  Instinctively I knew that babies were amazing but I didn't know they could learn to read and compute until my fourth.  Best to you and your baby and the new life within you.

[laughingwater]

Krista - Thanks!  Do you have any suggestions of specific songs we can learn to sing to greet our new baby? I don't yet know many of the common children's songs, but I am learning them.

[Krista G]

Hi Laughingwater,

You had me thinking about that one.   The songs we like to sing are

You are My Sunshine
Brahams's Lullabye
Hush Little Baby
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and
Rock a Bye Baby - The word's for this song are horrid and I suggest you change them.

It seems like I always make up a song for each child after they are born that I sing to them while they are babies.

If I think of anymore I will let you know.

[laughingwater]

Thanks so much!

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