Nurture Shock Review - .:Early Learning Community:.

I've been reading "NurtureShock" by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. I'm going to put a few of the things I learned in here. This is not exhaustive; The book covers research on 10 different topics; I skipped everything that applied to older kids and some things that I felt didn't provide any suggestions for parents. The section on Praise is more fully treated in "Mindset"; there's a thread on that book in the "Early Learning - General Discussion" forum. And I'm posting about developing Self-Control and the Tools of the Mind curriculum in that forum as well. But these are a few of the other topics that I thought were interesting.

Lack of Sleep
I'm a big fan of sleep. :-) So I didn't think this section would be as surprising as it was. It says that on average kids get one hour less sleep a day than they did 30 years ago. When they divided an elementary school class in two and half the kids got an hour more sleep than the others, after three days the gap on a standardized test between the sleep-deprived and extra-sleep kids was bigger than the average gap between fourth graders and six graders. Two grade levels! I realize there are all kinds of problems with tests like this, but since I want to believe sleep can make a big difference (:-)), I like this one.

It also says that even weekend shift - allowing kids to stay up later and sleep later on weekends - has bad effects too. I don't like that one as much - I like staying up late on the weekend - but for my kids' sake it seems worth it to try and listen.

MRI scans of sleeping children says sleep is essential for understanding and consolidating what was learned that day. Maybe that explains the performance gap when kids don't get enough sleep.

It also says that there is a much more obvious statistical connection between lack of sleep and obesity than between television and obesity. I found that interesting, at least, since the "obesity epidemic" just keeps getting worse.

However, I thought it was weird that they didn't even try to say how much was the "right" amount of sleep for a kid. Or how much variation is normal; not everyone needs exactly the same amount of sleep. Is my daughter getting enough? They didn't even try to help me answer that question.

Race
His main point here was that kids are not naturally colorblind. By age 3 kids are fascinated by categories and start to categorize based on race even if no one has pointed it out to them. One example: A study was done giving half a class red shirts and half blue shirts. They wore them for two weeks but no adult ever mentioned color. At the end, kids were asked, "How many Reds are nice? How many Blues?" All of their own color were nice/smart/whatever; only some of the opposite color were.

Parents need to talk about race, rather than hushing them up when they say things like, "That man has brown skin!" They need to clearly explain that it's not OK to choose friends based on looks. Between ages 3 and 6 is the best time, he says, but trite phrases like "everyone is equal" won't cut it. They have to be real, comprehensible, easily understood conversations that happen repeatedly and that the kids can remember.

I thought that was interesting. Family folklore says that my siblings and I were colorblind as elementary schoolers; stories like my mom asking my sister, who was trying to describe a friend, if she had dark skin and having my sister look at her blankly were common. But I think this organized approach to talking about race would be better than just hoping kids get the idea.

Honesty
The major idea here is that kids lie to keep adults from being upset; if we tell them that we will be happy if they tell the truth, it's more likely to influence them than teaching them that lying is wrong. The folk tale of "George Washington and the Cherry Tree" is more likely to get kids to tell the truth than "The Boy who Cries Wolf."

It also suggests not putting kids in the position of lying. Don't ask "Did you do it?" when you know the answer and are obviously upset. Just talk about what happened.

And, of course, kids learn to lie from us. Social white lies, especially, teach kids, who are not good at discriminating, that lies in general are OK.

Siblings
Kids need to be taught how to be friends; just being siblings doesn't do it. He talks about a program called "More Fun with Sisters and Brothers," which sounds very useful. It teaches 4-8 year olds how to initiate play with a sibling, how to find things they both like, how to decline politely if they're not interested, how to not be bossy, how to recognize the other person's feelings and point of view, etc. I wish there were a class like this near me! But with some thought and effort, I hope to teach this to my kids.

Language Development
Nothing in this section seemed surprising to me; most of it came naturally. But I'll list a few of his suggestions for boosting language development in the first 18 months. Most important is parent's response when a child makes a sound; it's more important than the parent initiating conversation. And the response should be bigger as they start making new sounds. When kids look at something, label it: "That's a spoon." And when you teach a new noun, try moving the object around while speaking parentese: "Frooo-ooo-it" while waving a piece of apple. The motion and sing-song sound get the child's attention. Again, nothing there struck me as surprising.

Recent Threads

Recently Added Files

Stats

Members

Stats

Users Online