Separation Anxiety

[juicyfruits]

I need HELP! My 6 month old son is starting to experience separation anxiety. No matter where i go, i must carry him around. If i leave him alone, he will start to cry (even though i am in a near distance) He simply want me to carry him no matter what. If he plays, i have to sit down with him..I cant have my own time and do my chores. Any advice to help my baby through it?

[fatima786]

hi there

i wish i could give you an easy solution but i dont have any.
babies start to show true feelings of anxiety and fear from 6-8 months. it is normal that your baby will find his first feeling of anxiety amongst strangers which is why he wants you. try handling your babies emotions by distracting him.
also sticking to his routine will help him feel secure as his day is predictable especially the events leading to bedtime.

with lots of love your baby will soon pass this phase.

[MomPD]

try this.. go out of site and say his name,, and then come out and suprose him.. next time try this with a few more seconds.. and keep trying it for a few days.. this will make him understand that even if you go, you will come back,, this will help.. and then when u are out of sight for a longer time and he cries,, comfort him.. but dont pick him up.. just comformt him and try to distract him.. tell me if this works..

[juicyfruits]

I have tried everything ; he screams when I'm just ABOUT to put him down. He hates it when I just walk away from him for a second, even if I'm a few feet away from him. I have no clue what to do. i talk to him from the kitchen but that never seems to calm him...there have been days where i've lived on biscuits and water (or without food)that's all i could grab and get back to him quickly...  i think that  he simply craves social interaction. I know he will outgrown it after some stage but i cant stand it now as i have to carry him all day..oh.. play music in the background also doesnt help..he can play himself for a few minutes, but i must be with him. IF he catches me leaving..he will start to cry..Also tried leaving him to cry..BUT he can be tought too, he will cry until i have no choice but to give him as it simply hurt my heart to hear him crying for so long

[nhockaday]

Unfortunately this is a stage that babies go through, sometimes more than once, and if you have a clingy, needy baby already, then it makes it that much worse. I know I have read some tips in a book or magazine, so I'll have to look them up for you. But there probably isn't much you can do other than just let him cry sometimes. Him crying will hurt you more than it will him.

[nhockaday]

Here is something I pulled from a book. I don't know whether it will help or not.

[mandiq]

Our son had seperation anxiety really bad at 4 months... he is currently 2 years of age and still has seperation anxiety at times usually at night when its time for him to sleep... I can say it does get better.    I couldnt even leave him with my husband... this is what we did and I think it helped.

I slinged him... I wore a sling and walked around doing my chores with him attached... I think he got annoyed after a while to being confined but still felt close to me... and then eventually wanted to be put down more and more... Some days when he needed me it was more.... but I think its natural for babies to want to be close and at the same time not want to be confined.. so by sling carring... or wrapping it helps them want independance.

[juicyfruits]

gals, thanks for your advice. Hopefully he will outgrow this stage early. As for the sling, i have thought of it also, but as our country experience summer all year round, it can be very hot for both of us. The heat will definately add stress to me if i were to carry him to do my chores.I am trying the hard way where i am planning to leave him to cry. (He crys in his walker even when i am beside him)

[k.k]

My baby also have separation anxiety when she was around 7 months. Same as you that my baby won't let me to leave her even 2 mins and even my hubby can't settle her as well. i have to hold her all day long, and have to leave all the housework to my hubby to finish. This have last for around 3 weeks and the changing point start when my hubby's grandpa get serious sick and pass away in 2 weeks time. Coz during that time we have brought my baby to visit grandpa every 2-3 days (hospital is not a good place to go with baby,they will get sick easily). My baby start to saw more people beside our family member (stranger like family friends, doctor and nurse). She take around a week time and she don't have the "separation anxitey" problem. Since then she become a "outgoing" baby even i can leave her to a people who she never meet before. I think you can try to let your baby see more people (other babies about same age or toddler even better).
Good luck to you

[k.k]

sorry forget to mention that bring her out the the park or shopping mall is a good way for both you and the baby as well. Or you can find a playgroup that you baby can have fun during the lesson and also can have a change to make friend with the other babies 

[juicyfruits]

my baby has already been to the shopping malls and parks when he turned one month old. As i have postnal depression during that period, i cant stay at home for a long time alone with my baby. My husband make it a point to bring us out everyday (even if its only an hour) and yes, throughout those months, he had seen and been carried by strangers, relatives

[juicyfruits]

ohh..just to update.. He is getting better now, allowing me to put him down for at least 10 min before he crys. Prior putting him down, i talk to him and let him know that he is going to be put on a walker.I sort of exchanging them between cot,playing saucer,dinning chair,floor, so that he is not bored staying at a place for a long time. But i must be around with him.   In the kitchen, i have to let him sit (with help of bumbo) at the counter to watch me do my chores..

[Mandi Quiring]

its interesting that you mentioned the depression... I think that babies can sense depression in a mother and sometimes have a delayed reaction... I think its your sons way of telling you he loves you and wants you close by.

Hugs. Glad to hear your working it out....

mandiq

[nhockaday]

Oh yeah. Babies pick up on your mood, so if you are depressed, then that can definitely be why he is so clingy and needy. Try to do some of the things that everyone mentioned on the other thread, and I'm sure both of your moods will improve!

[newchs]

learn alot about these problems from this site. Never thought them as an issue as my wife has been taking care of the children..salute to all mothers!!

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