sleeping, co-sleeping, sleeping problem

[asmaamoussa]

hi;

My son is 3.5 months and since he was born he wakes up whenever i put him to bed. so, i started co-sleeping and now he is up if i tried to get out of bed  to do chores.
i want to put him to sleep in his cot and i don't know how. even if i succeeded, whenever he moves while sleeping , he gets up and the crying begin. should let him cry it out... i don't like it
He feeds well and he is healthy msA, so it's not health issue
Also, he start his evening sleep at about 2:00 Am and i don't like it ofcourse. how to shift it to 8:00 at least

plz help. this is my first subject and i am a new memder 

[asmaamoussa]

i'm actually writing to u with him sleeping on my arm   

[Maquenzie]

Have you tried babywearing?

[Mela Bala]

I have the same issue.  I have no idea how he can sense when I get up.  My little one sleeps with his leg on me it took a couple months to break that habit.  Now I can move his leg without upsetting him but when I wake up later his leg is back on me.  He refuses to even sit in his crib with his favorite toys.  I feel so bad its like we have an $800 toy chest.  He will only sit in his bassinett and play.  I do have different baby slings and no matter the model he does not sleep in them and now that he is older he wants to get his hands on everything so baby wearing for me is more for when we go out.  I started co sleeping because I had to have an emergency c section and it was the easiest way for me to nurse.  I have just accepted the situation for what it is because all the advice I have been given has not helped.  Our pediatrician said to put him in his crib while he is still awake so when he does wake up he can recognize where he is.  I told her that he would cry.  She said that it is okay to let him cry for 20 mins.  I can not even let him cry for more than 2 mins.  I know all I have to do is pick my son up to stop him from crying.  So I just relax or sleep when he is sleeping.  My husband helps me alot with the chores and I usually excercise and do some chores before and after he goes to work.  When my son started staying up until 2 or 3 am I tried to keep him awake in the evenings or if he did nap in the evening I would play with him or just make him laugh and laugh until he got tired. 

[haydeejamison]

The symptoms are sad. You should contact to child specialist doctors.

[Mela Bala]

http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/ask-heidi/family-bed-to-crib.aspx?xid=nl_YourDailyNewsletterfromWhattoExpect_20110705

Many parents in my family have had the same issues with their children and they have all grown up to be just fine.  I do not think my son's sleeping habits as being symptoms that are sad.  His sleeping habits are based on the fact that since he was concieved the two of us have never been apart from each other and that I chose to co-sleep for the convenience of breastfeeding.  I am actually enjoying the close bond between us.

[Kimba15]

How about just wrapping your son so he can't move his arms or legs.Some babies love the feeling of still being in utero and if it means that you can get some things done then wrap him. I know most places will tell you that he is now to old to be wrapped but it maybe just what he needs. Wrap him before he sleeps put him in the cot and then tuck his blanket in snug around him. As time goes on you can begin to ween the wrap as he gets more control over his arms and legs. but for now you can try and see if it works.

[earsmom]

I went through the exact same thing with my daughter who is now 8 months old and has been sleeping on her own and through the night from about 5 1/2 months (which is when I finally was at the end of my rope). I'm afraid that there is no easy way to separate from co-sleeping and their will be crying. There are definitely things you can do to make it a little easier like starting earlier than I did 

I loved co-sleeping with my daughter but I like you was attached to my baby pretty much 24/7. It really started to wear on me and I wasn't getting the rest that I needed. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I did co-sleep...my birth was traumatic ending with an emergency c section and a baby with a fractured skull who needed surgery to correct. I wanted to be near her at all times to keep an eye on her.

The best thing I can tell you is what I did and hope that it works for you too.

1. Try to get on a schedule - Baby's awake time is usually anywhere from 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours until they get a little older. Look for signs of tiredness and put them to bed then. I usually try to nurse when baby wakes up but if you have to nurse before sleep make sure they do not fall asleep or else they will not learn how to fall asleep without a crutch/prop. Not as easy as it sounds but worth it in the long run.

When you do finally put them to bed and your baby cries, pick him or her up, give them a cuddle and say it's sleepy time. Leave and come back and repeat every 5 to 10 minutes until they fall asleep. This will be the most difficult thing you will have to do and may last quite a long time. After all, who wouldn't want to be rocked or nursed to sleep and have a warm body beside them. If after an 45 minutes - 1 hour it's still not working, get the baby up and give yourselves a break and try again a little while.

2. Bedtime routine - make sure you have a consistent routine for the end of the day to trigger that it's a nigh time sleep instead of a nap. I always do quite playtime, bath, book, nurse then bed.

This is really the short version but these two things helped a lot. I also read several books, the best were Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and the Baby Whisperer.

Some advise that I took to heart was that your baby is going to cry when they don't get what they want, it is up to us to make sure they get what they need and sleep is one of those things.

Also, I read an article to other day about sleep that said we talk a lot about the methods for getting our child to sleep and maybe we should talk more about the end results. Do what works!

This was not easy but I am so happy that we are both getting the rest we need. Hope this helps.

[Mela Bala]

Thanks Kimba15 and earsmom 
My little man was unwrapping himself by the time he was three months old but I just wrapped him now and after  he gets used to being wrapped after a couple nights I will try putting him in his crib.  He took a nap for about an hour today in his crib but he woke up and was playing then when I picked him up and nursed him for a couple minutes he fell asleep so I just caught up on some reading.     
Earsmom,  I am so sorry to hear about your baby's skull fracture and am so glad you are able to be with her 24/7 and that she is doing good.  You are a brave mom and you have such a strong daughter to have to endure such an experience at birth.

[asmaamoussa]

thx so much everyone
all ur replies were very helpful even if there is no advice, feeling that i'm not a lone is great
i'll try to apply all practices mentioned and read the books

thx again girls

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

Well...I have to say "been there, done that" .. There is nothing serious about this, in my opinion because my son was born a bad sleeper. He only napped for maybe 5 - 10 minutes, then woke up crying for me. I had to use baby carriers in order to get work done around the house. The best carrier for me is Beco Butterfly II. He is now 2 years and 7 months old and still loves to be in the carrier...and of couse, still want me to front carry him...

Anyway, I tried different ways in order to get him on good sleeping habits. What works for me is a solid sleeping routine. My son did not nap or sleep well until he turned 1.6 years old. I am still trying to get him to sleep on his own. it does not work 100% yet but it's improving. But you know what, I often found myself wide awake at night wanting to sneak in to his bedroom so that I can sleep on his bed..   Time flies. He grows up so quickly.

[ashish bhatnagar]

Its a nice post on sleeping and sleeping problem. I like it. It contains couple of nice views. Thanks for sharing these tips.

[tlyoung]

My 2 children are opposite when it comes to sleeping. My 1st child was much like your baby, I was sleep deprived. I promised myself that our 2nd would be a good sleeper and he is. Before he was born is researched the different methods and found the "No cry sleep solution" . Here is the website for you to consider
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

I also used a swaddling blanket that has velcro on it, my son loved to be snuggled up tight. This did not stop him from learning to roll over when he was awake, he was very early at turning over. I used this brand: They are at target
http://www.summerinfant.com/Products/Nursery/Swaddle-Me---Speciality-Blankets/SwaddleMe%C2%AE.aspx

Sleep is so important for brain development! Our son sleeps 12 hours every night compared to our daughter who slept 4 hours. I'm not sure if my actions have ensured our 2nd sleeps well or if it is his way. Being an older Mom I really appreciate it!
Good Luck and don't give up!!!!!!!!!!

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