Toilet training advice (19mo)

[hypatia]

Hi all,
My daughter has been wearing underwear in lieu of diapers for over a month. Everything is going well and I've noticed that the diaper I put on for her nap is always clean, as well as when we go out (never more than 2hr nap or outings)
I guess my question is: when should I trust her enough to lose the diaper completely, all day long?
Does your child wake up during his nap requesting the potty, do they just hold on?

She usually goes on the potty at the very last second and I don't see how i could manage stopping the car, pulling her out of the car seat etc etc, same thing at the shops (and most of them do not have restrooms)..
The method I used last month was simply to remove the diaper, take the potty to every room we went (and deal with the 'accidents' of the first few days). I think she now understand that diapers are no longer to be soiled.
Any tips? Thanks!

[waterdreamer]

Follow your gut and don't rush it. Maybe switch her to pullups, for the last stage, when your out of the house. This way there like diapers if theres an accident, but if she needs to go and you guys can make it she still feels like she's in underwear. Thats what I did.
My son was backward and was night trained before day trained and never gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. So I can't answer your other questions. Sorry

[Vidyut]

I guess my question is: when should I trust her enough to lose the diaper completely, all day long?

I think she is the best guide. Begin talking to her, telling her that you'll be going out for a couple of hours and see how she feels about it. Describe the toilet situation there - if you ca find them easily or if it might get difficult, etc. Begin with really short spans of time (which it seems you already do) and keep moving to longer spans rather than a 'switch' to all day. You may need to still use diapers for going out longer than she is used to without.

The trick is to trust her, accept accidents as a part of the journey, and let her 'figure it out'. I was one of the most involved people in potty training (EC) my nephew and I discovered that once they understand that no loos may be available, or there will be a loo near by, etc., they are capable of making their own decisions which are very reliable (short term anyway). Often, he used to want a diaper for going out for a couple of minutes, which seemed strange, but we trusted him, and it turned out that there was a poop coming on which either happened while we were out or soon after coming back. Sometimes he was fine with no diapers as long as there was a loo he could go to (or other suitable options). They understand what they 'need' pretty much off the bat, if we trust their responses and let the consequences unfold.

Sometimes, he was adventurous, and used to say "no diaper" for quite long times, which seemed unrealistic. So we didn't put a diaper on him, but after say half an hour or an hour or so, we used to ask him if he wanted one, and sometimes the answer changed. Other times, it didn't, and he was fine "holding it" for the time it took to reach a loo.

[Indidee]

I dont know if I am pampering my daughter too much or giving her too much time before she can get toilet trained.  She is around 25 months.  I avoid using the diaper quite a lot during the day and only use it at night though i find it mostly clean through the night except for those nights that she might have woken up.

Is it Ok to take her to the toilet if she does wake up in the middle of the night but still is actually sleepy? Wont I be breaking her sleep cycle? Will I be causing more problems (as in a habit to wake up or something) if I do this? 

I am not really a stay-at-home mum and have to depend a lot on my mum to get her trained.  My mum obviously does a splendid (and much better job than me) but this potty thing is the only concern.  She still will not use the potty (no matter how much we try). She is almost afraid of the potty. How do I change this for her? Any tips?
thanks

[hypatia]

Thank you all. I think it is a good idea to talk to the child and let them know how long we are going for etc etc. i'll wait a little bit before i take the nappy off for outings.

[ilima]

I understand Hypatia. I'm in the same situation.
My son is 24 months old. For two weeks we will train intensively with very good success. He makes poo and pee in the potty. I have the following website uses http://www.mommyenterprises.com/articles/potty-train-2-days.htm and of course all the good tips here in the forum. When we go shopping or walk, then I have very practical pants from pottytrainingsolutions.com. For my son, I have the boxer shorts. With these pants, we can be 2-3 hours on the road. But at night we use the diaper. I think it's more hygienic over this long period. I hope then that regulates its own.

[hypatia]

Well it's all going well. She had a few diaper-free naps and very short outings (not in public areas though)
I'm discovering a real literature about toilet-training on the web...

[McDume]

Best advice I've read for treating you infant's 'training' with confidence and respect is "In The Toilet" by Janet Lansbury. http://bit.ly/bSfX8r

[Sherry_Angela]

I dont know if I am pampering my daughter too much or giving her too much time before she can get toilet trained.  She is around 25 months.  I avoid using the diaper quite a lot during the day and only use it at night though i find it mostly clean through the night except for those nights that she might have woken up.

Is it Ok to take her to the toilet if she does wake up in the middle of the night but still is actually sleepy? Wont I be breaking her sleep cycle? Will I be causing more problems (as in a habit to wake up or something) if I do this? 

I am not really a stay-at-home mum and have to depend a lot on my mum to get her trained.  My mum obviously does a splendid (and much better job than me) but this potty thing is the only concern.  She still will not use the potty (no matter how much we try). She is almost afraid of the potty. How do I change this for her? Any tips?
thanks

If she is afraid stop don't worry about it for awhile. I have potty trained 8 kids and am on number 9. I only have 5 I use to do in home child care and potty trained 5 kids at the same time. Most girls are ready before age 2 boys seem to take longer. One key is to make it fun for her, have books and other things. You have to be over excited and give rewards stickers or M&M's at first. My 2 year old is a boy and he is doing pretty good but I have had a potty chair in my living room for several months he has sat on it played with it carried it around and is now going pee on it. He get upset if he gets poop on it, it is the shape of a frog he loves frogs and is upset that Ribbit has ewws on him. So we are pooping on the big potty had to buy seat for him for that. I think the cute little potty chairs they have now that play music are really cute but are not really needed unless you have the money and want to do that. If she thinks you are excited and happy she will be too have to keep it positive always!! Hard to do when they decide one day I am dry all day and the next anything goes.
My advice is to just step back and give her some time. Have a potty chair where she can see it but don't force her. Hope this helps you.

Sherry

[L and J]

I'm in the same situation, my girls can pass 2 hours whitout wet the diaper, but she does not pee on the potty all by herself. she is 28 months...

[cp]

She usually goes on the potty at the very last second and I don't see how i could manage stopping the car, pulling her out of the car seat etc etc, same thing at the shops (and most of them do not have restrooms)..

Hi hypatia

My DD is 27 month old.  For months, she has been having dry diapers when we are out for 2-3 hours, when she has her nap and when she sleeps at night (except for 1 or 2 nights when she has extra bottle of milk when she woke up in the middle of the night). 

I’ve not let her be diaper-free yet when we go out (I still have not figured out how to let her use the public toilets as a clean one is hard to find where I’m from) although she is when she is at home.  To get her ready to be diaper-free during outings, I now make it a habit to ask her to use the toilet before we go out and straight after we arrive home.  As she normally pees at least 45 min after she has a big drink or have her milk, I know that she will not ask to go when I’m still driving.  Hope this helps.

[cp]

I'm in the same situation, my girls can pass 2 hours whitout wet the diaper, but she does not pee on the potty all by herself. she is 28 months...

Hi L and J

I tried to potty train my DD when she was 10 month old.  She liked it for the first week but after that she would stiffen her body and refuse to sit on the toilet with baby toilet seat.  I’ve stopped since but occasionally would try my luck but still no success.

For the past 2 months, I’ve started looking for a playschool for her as she seemed bore at home.  She has been asking to go school after a few trial classes.  But some of the schools here require that the children be potty trained first even for a 2 year old.  I explained to her that she can go to school only if she uses the toilet and be able to tell the teacher when she needs to go.  This has been a great incentive for her to use the toilet.  I skipped the potty entirely as I do not want to retrain her all over again when it is time to use the toilet and using the toilet involves less cleaning. 

Then, I let her be diaper-free at home and remind her of the incentive every time I want her to use the toilet (I’ve sort of figure out her pee and poo schedule).  She only had a few pee accidents in the beginning and she has been doing great for a month or so and even tells me when she needs to pee. 

In my case, it is about giving her a good incentive to use the toilet.  Maybe, you have to find out what will motivate your little one. 

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