Weaning co-sleeping, any tips?

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

I have been co-sleeping with my son since he was around 5 months old. We have been sleeping on a mattress in his bedroom while husband sleeps in our bedroom. I co-sleep with my son because he wakes several times at night. I was hoping that co-sleeping would help him slept better. Boy, was I ever wrong! He still wakes a few times and gets used to having me in his bed and was really upset when he did not see me when he is up. I don't think hunger is an issue because he eats, and drink before he goes to bed. Plus, I am a full time mom and he has me all day, and night! I used to be worried about his health issues like ear infections and all that but his doctor has told us he is a normal healthy toddler.

He is 2.2 years old now and still wakes at least twice a night. We bought him a nice race car bed which he does love. We encourage him to sleep on his big boy bed. I started off with sleeping with him on his bed, then besides his bed, and gradually move away from his bed. He did well and would go to sleep on his bed. He still woke and looked for me during the night. I was so hopeful and looking forward to a good sleep for both of us. During this last few nights, he just did not want to sleep alone in his bed any more. He wanted me to sleep with him "on his race car bed". He would cry until I gave up, and ended up sleeping on his bed with him. When I was on his bed, he would immediately settle down to sleep.

I cannot let him cry it out and now looking for ways to get him to sleep alone. Anybody has the same experiences? Any successful tips?

Please share your experiences and I am open for any suggestions.

I need my sleep, and of course my husband is not very happy that we are sleeping in separate bedrooms for over 2 years.

Thanks,

Elle

[tlyoung]

Elle,
I don't agree with the "let them cry to sleep" method either.  I made all of the mistakes anyone could make when it came to sleep with our daughter.  I swore not to have a poor sleeper again.  Our son sleeps continuously 10 to 12 hours each night.  Maybe it is his nature or maybe my resolve to ensure he was a good sleeper, more like a little of both. Anyway I suggest The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has a toddler version/sections.. Good luck!
Tracy

[Bystre deti]

I agree with Tracy and also recommend the great book "The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley".

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

Thanks Tracy and pupisek.

I actually have this book somewhere in my house  . I bought it when my son was around 3 months old. He is not a good sleep and has been like this since day 1.    I will take a look at the book again and see what it has to say about toddler sleeping suggestions.

Elle

[lelask]

I always stay with my baby until she falls asleep and then I put her in her bed. She wakes up when she "feels me" in the bedroom and I put her in our bed to stay until morning. She is still breastfed so it is easier for me to feed her at night.
My husband also sleeps in different room. I was hoping the older the baby the easier it will be to explain why she has to stay in her bed!

Have you try to put his bed in your room? I keep her bed within 1 meter from me. The safe zone.
Some children like to have photos of mummy with them or on the wall around the bed. Or a little bell that he can ring when he feels sad. You will probably be running up and down quite often from beginning  .But it will be like a game. You start playing during the day that he knows what it means and that you will always come.
There must be a trick that will work for you.

Please let us know how are you doing as I will learn from you.

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

lelask, I like the little bell idea! I never thought about that but I think my son will ring it all night  . He is quite a handful and often have that "mischeivous" look on his face when he is up to no good. 

Actually, we used to let him sleep in our bed but my son did not sleep well neither. He moved, tossed and turned all night. It was hard on my husband so I decided to sleep with my son in his room. He actually likes his bedroom. We have bed time routine and have been following the same schedule every night. I sometimes think he was just born a bad sleeper!

Anyway, he slept on his own bed last night. He woke a few times and looked for me. I think he just wanted to make sure that I was still in the room with him. I am now back to square one, laying a mattress on the floor and sleeping besides his bed (did this a months ago).  I will try to move my mattress a little further from his bed next week.

I hope he stays in his bed tonight.

Elle

[2010BEBES]

Elle,

Do you have an update on this? I hope you found the recomended book. Did you found anything usefull?

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

2010BEBES, I did read the book but I cannot follow through.  There are good tips but I am not a type of person who can note down every thing so  here I am back to squre one..

Also, our family had a 3 weeks holidays in Thailand. He slept with us when we were there. When we came back home, he wouldn't let me sleep on the floor any more...   He was just so upset that I had to sleep on his bed with him.

He is 2.7 years old now. The sleeping on the floor does not work so I have tried to leave the room when he is already asleep. He sleeps pretty well. Sometimes he would sleep through the night on his own bed but there are still some nights that he would wake around 5 in the morning, looking for me.
To me, this is a good sign as my son has been a bad sleeper from birth.

[Tanikit]

I had to smile when I read this - my eldest DD was a terrible sleeper from birth and coslept from about 5 months of age (she was in her carrycot next to our bed before that) She didn't sleep through the night til 22 months and that was only a few times and was still waking a few times a night til recently (she'll be 4 in September) and climbing into our bed where we had another baby cosleeping by this stage. But we won with bribery in the end and she sleeps right through the night in her own bed. Your son will eventually too, hang in there. If you can try getting him to sleep and then moving out of the room once he is asleep - but tell him that is what will happen then you may also find that helps.

I dread the next few years though as next DD is only 4 months old and has been cosleeping since she was about 1 month old but does not wake nearly as often as our first did.

[waterdreamer]

What we did was, come bed time I'd do the usual routine and get him in bed. I'd leave the room and if he awoke my hubby went and and got him to sleep. It was hard not to go in myself, but at the time I was working full time and really needed to sleep more. Once he knew I was not going to reinforce his behavior, and hubby wasnt as reinforcing he started sleeping through the night. The first week was awful, but a month later I would just put him to bed and he slept like an angel.

[2010BEBES]

Also, our family had a 3 weeks holidays in Thailand. He slept with us when we were there. When we came back home, he wouldn't let me sleep on the floor any more...   He was just so upset that I had to sleep on his bed with him.
...
To me, this is a good sign as my son has been a bad sleeper from birth.

Elle, I am glad he is doing better. Maybe some more days and he will sleep all the night through.
Certainly vacations or having your child sick somteimes came into your way trying to establish some routines.

I am not sure about the age but i remember my grandson stayed in his bed watching some videos (mostly about animals like Baby Noah's or Old mcDonald on the farm) and he slept just watching them and at the same time he was learning english (spanish is our language). In this way you do not have to be in the room with him while he is starting to sleep.

Maybe if things do not get better, you can do something similar.

[2010BEBES]

.. Once he knew I was not going to reinforce his behavior, and hubby wasnt as reinforcing he started sleeping through the night. The first week was awful, but a month later I would just put him to bed and he slept like an angel.

I can surely understand that most men are different than women and it is easier for them to avoid the temptation of going to hold your baby.
At what age did he start to sleep alone in his room?

[waterdreamer]

He was three. The only reason we didn't start him on his own earlier is because he had sleep apnea and had to have his tonsils and adneiods removed. So he truly needed me at night. But after he had his surgery and was fully recovered we needed to help him realize he was safe at night.

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

Having read the posts, I feel much better. I am not alone when it comes to children having sleep problems!! 
My son did sleep better at night and so did I!!. He slept through the nights a few nights ago but last night still woke up twice looking for me. 
Well I think he needs time to adjust. I am a full time mom and he is really attached to me. If my husband goes into his room instead of me, it will just set him off...

I am trying to think posively. I am sure he won't need me on his bed when he becomes a teenager so I just have to hang in there until he is ready to shh me away from his bedroom. 

[waterdreamer]

I'm glad it's getting a bit better.
Oh my DS use to get set off too when my hubby went in instead of me. But for our family it is very important to teach our children self control from an early ages. Also my hubby helped me realize in order to be the best mom for my DS I needed to have a good night sleep. Plus there was a time I landed up in the hospital for a few nights due to a medical issue. So not only was my son upset I wasn't with him during the day, his nights were a million times more awful because I had not taught him to sleep independently. I felt awful and that reall opened my eyes. But in the end your LO won't be doing this forever and if works for you great Just make sure your happy too or you may start to resent the situation and that is not healthy for your relationship. Best of luck

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