What parenting books would you recommend?

[MamaToBe]

I'm newly pregnant with my first baby and am looking at different parenting books but there are so many I don't know where to start.

Which books did you find the most useful and which the least and why. 

Also are there any particular parenting methods you found better than others.  I figure the more info I get now the better I will be later on,

Thanks!

[Sarah108]

Hi, Congratulations on your pregnancy!

The best advice my Gynae gave me, was to buy one book ONLY and stick to that book. Each book gives you different advice, and by the end you don't know what to believe /do

I bought a book called Baby Sense, but I am not sure it's available internationally. It's a super short book, punchy and provided everything I needed to know. I received so many other books as gifts but did not open one of them, so unfortunately I can't give you a good review.

However, I have heard "what to expect when youre expecting" and that whole series (first year and first 5 years) was quite good.

Good luck with the search!

[km276]

I have the "What to expect, the first year" and would definitely recommend it.  I was so impressed that I bought "What to expect, the toddler years".  I have to admit though and I haven't used the latter book as much though.

[PY]

This is the best book I could ever read when I was pregnant!! I learned so much....

What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Going-There-Brain-Develop/dp/0553378252/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1278605656&sr=1-1

I totally recomended!!

[McDume]

The 'what to expect' books are great and universal. For great infant care info, my go-to is 'Elevating Child Care' at http://bit.ly/92q4Ec

[NadiaD]

"Baby 411" by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, MD
"Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp

[waterdreamer]

Congrats!!!
Anything by Dr.Sears. I wish I had found his books while i was pregnant instead of when my son was already 4 months old.
Glenn Domans books
and of course like others have said What to expect when expecting

[Twinergy]

My favorite parenting books:
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser:  This book really helped me understand toddlers emotions, their perspective, and how to communicate to help them understand their own emotions (emotional intelligence.) The discipline techniques are gentle and respectful of children emphasizing natural consequences and communication rather than punishments and rewards.  This book is loaded with practical advice giving real life examples to demonstrate effective methods.  My favorite parts are part 2 children's feelings, part 4 difficult behavior, chapters 23-24 social learning.  I think that I may have found some of the other chapters more useful when I was pregnant but my kids were 22 months by the time I read this book.  Their website also has several fantastic articles to browse.
Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen (preview) Very fun to read the real life examples of how to use play to connect with children.  The preview is a must read, the book gives more examples but not much more in theory. 
Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate (preview) I prefered Hold On To Your Kids to Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (preview) but both books are similar.  Other people may prefer UP.  They  really complement each other and arrive at the same conclusion by  different arguemnts.  I have even heard some people recommend reading one right after the other, but your reading list is getting long so I just recommended my favorite. Both are heavy in theory and probably good to read when prengnat or when the kids are older.  I prefer the more practical books when the kids are babies or toddlers.


My favorite general parenting threads in this forum:
http://forum.brillkids.com/coffee-corner/brilliant-kids-lack-confidence-the-perils-of-praise/
http://forum.brillkids.com/coffee-corner/bullies-and-victims-labelling-toddlers/

[khatty]

Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting.  The subtitle is a provocative challenge to raising children.  He won't give you any fast and easy tips, but he has amazing LONG TERM strategies for helping children develop into adults.  I've read many many parenting books and I always come back to Alfie Kohn.

[Marmee]

I like Alfie Kohn and Sears too. 

My other recommendations would be

Robin Grille - Heart to Heart Parenting and Parenting for a Peaceful World
Sarah J Buckley - Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering
Pinky McKay - Sleeping like a Baby and Toddler Tactics

I also loved Jean Liedlow's The Continuum Concept. 

[a mommy]

Congratulations! You are right that there are so many choices, and it can be overwhelming. I think that what books you read has to depend on what style of parenting you feel comfortable with.

If you prefer to go with an attachment parenting style, and would like to try things such as co-sleeping, babywearing, babywearing, etc, Dr Sears is very popular.

If you don't want to co-sleep, and would prefer to try to get your baby to sleep independently, but would like to follow some of the other attachment practices, reading the no-cry series of books by Elizabeth Pantley may be more comfortable for you.

If you would like to go with a bit more of a sleep training style, getting your baby to sleep independently, and trying to follow a bit more of a routine, you could try The Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg.

Of course, none of these styles may feel completely comfortable to you. In that case you have to choose what from each style of parenting works for you, and combine them. 

I liked The Happiest Baby On the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block, by Harvey Karp, but found that for me, his writing style was a bit hard to get through. I have never read any of the "what to expect" books, Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldortbut, and books by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, but have heard good things about all of them.

Good luck on your search!

[MamaToBe]

Thank you so much for all the recommendations.  We are aiming towards a more natural approach so I think maybe attachment parenting???  I think we will probably mix and match a bit though because I don't know how practical some stuff will be.  I guess a lot is just trial and error but I'd like to read a few different books and see what resonates before the baby comes. 

[SunshineMama]

I'm only at the start of my parenting journey but I have found The Continuum Concept to be a great read.  I don't think it is all that practical in our modern world but it's given me an idea of some of the things I can do like the in arms phase etc. 

I also found Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering a great book which covers pregnancy, birth and babies.

How exciting 

[Twinergy]

The Mothering forum is great for attachment parenting.  Most of the books that were recommended here I have also seen there    although I haven't read them all many are on my list to read.  Books.google.com is a great place to see extended previews, sometimes over 40 pages, of many books and is one of my favorite sites to visit when I'm considering books to read.  The library is also a great resource, and you may even find some of these books and authors in audio or video format which are usually condensed and go much faster.  You can also ask your library about interlibrary loans and I have found some amazing resources that way.  

P.S. I went back to my original post and updated it with more info about the books I recommended to you, including links to previews!

[Rivka]

I would agree with "a mommy" and say that it totally depends on what parenting style you think you will lean toward. We had huge success with the Baby-wise series (which actually goes all the way to teenagehood) and Ferber, which are, I believe, very different from the Dr. Sears style. It is work at the beginning, and it takes some fortitude to implement, but our baby slept through the night by 6 weeks, and is a very happy baby because he and everyone around him is well rested and ready to interact when he is awake. We love him to pieces, and do hold him a lot, but not all the time... he is also happy to play by himself for extended periods of times, up to 20 min now (at 6 months) without requiring any intervention, and to me, this is a true sign of secure attachment.. to know that we are "there" for him, but not necessarily the minute he wants it, so he has developped coping and age-appropriate self-control skills to wait and make himself happy without expecting to be picked up instantly. In the morning, he is awake well before we come up for his first feeding, but he is happy to babble to himself, which in my mind is an important, unstructured time to develop imagination etc.

A lot of the 'method' is focused on schedules (which become more flexible as he gets older), which foster a sense of predictability, of a mix of interactive play and independent play, of encouraging self-soothing, of setting age-appropriate boundaries. I would say it is for more traditional parents, and I have to say we too needed the predictability so we could integrate our baby into our life while rearranging some things to meet his needs in a way that was manageable for us, instead of what I felt was to stop living altogether (I was raised in France, so this may be a cultural thing), but now we have an older baby who is very pleasant in public (definitely an expectation in France), and actually quite adaptable (we took him hiking, on a plane, swimming lessons, etc). During the swimming lessons, the teacher was amazed on how cool, calm, and collected he was..and he acquired the skills in 4 weeks instead of 6 to 8 weeks. So what can I say, it worked for us!

PS: I would also agree with people who said to stick to one or two books that are compatible, otherwise, you will drive yourself  and you child crazy. Children need consistency as much as love, so keep that in mind

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