What parenting books would you recommend?

[Rivka]

oh, I forgot to mention the "happies baby on the block" video. Just a few life-saving tips on soothing newborns (up to about 3 monhs). It works wonder: Swaddling, shushing, side, swinging, and (in my case didn't implement) sucking. I knew about swaddling and shushing, but putting them on their sides and gently swinging work great too!

[tammtamm21]

I would also recommend The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Anything by the Sears Family of doctors (they subscribe to the Attachment Parenting style). Diaper Free Baby was also a great eye opener. Montessori From the Start is helpful for early development. And of course the Glenn Doman series. As your child grows I think its important to keep reading. I know with my 12 year old, I read lots about pregnancy and babyhood, but then started winging it, but there came a point where I realized I needed to know what other parents were doing. Therefore I would recommend the Love and Logic series. I also got great ideas from Parenting with Dignity. I dont agree with Rivka that you should only read one or two books. There is no "right" way to parent. Every child has a unique set of needs, thank goodness nature has provided him with his own unique parent, you! The most important thing is to trust your gut. You know your child better then anyone else -phd or not-. Read it all, take from it what feels right to you, leave the rest in the book. Sometimes, you'll try something today and fail miserably, but tomorrow gives you another opportunity to try it again. Babies change daily, and you're parenting skills will have to do the same. I think its better to be loaded up with an arsonal of new ways to handle situations.
Good luck!

[RoseMama]

I agree with tammtamm21 that it never hurts to read a lot of different books but with an eye to what feels right for you.

Personally I read both Ferber and Babywise and have to say that I reacted quite strongly to both as it went completely against everything I believe about babies and children.  It is also worth noting that last year Ferber wrote a retraction stating he now believes much of what he wrote was wrong and apologised to those who may have followed his advice.  Having said that others swear by them so I think it is a case of finding what suits your child.

One thing to be aware of is the misconception that Attachment Parenting is the same as Permissive Parenting and that your children will dictate your life.  This is a completely false assumption and in my experience is quite the opposite.  Most attachment parents are able to take their children everywhere and anywhere and the children become very comfortable in all manner of social situations and are less inclined to melt down.  We have never had to decline an invitation or consider whether it fits in around our child's sleep schedule because she is used to sleeping in slings or her pram now she is bigger (or even on a blanket at our feet) amongst the action. 

On the other hand I have seen many, many families who have had to leave early or not come at all because their children need to be in bed by a set time in their own environment or they completely lose the plot.

Anyway just wanted to mention that because time and again I hear that attachment parenting means you need to revolve around your children and I believe this is not healthy or sustainable long term.

[MamaToBe]

Wow so many thoughtful responses.  Thank you all so much for taking the time to give me your ideas and recommendations.

I have ordered some of the books you have all recommended and will post back here if I have any other questions.

Rivka, thank you for explaining why you found Ferber and Babywise helpful.  It is really thought provoking and I like how your child is so obviously not lacking in attachment or confidence.  I still think I am leaning towards the attachment parenting scale but I don't think we will ever be complete attachment parents as I think a bit of balance is a good thing.

Thanks again everyone.

[Rivka]

First and foremost, I want to wish you a wonderful parenting experience, as this is a very exciting time for you, regardless of what method you choose.

Secondly, I want to quickly mention that the second edition of Ferber includes some clarifications (no apologies given or necessary). As evidently with the attachment method, there are just a lot of misconceptions, but the book received a 4 out 5 star rating on Amazon.com with 468 reviews as of today.

Best regards,

[AussieMumofOne]

Congratulations MamaToBe! U highly recommend Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall was fantastic for us! The routines were a great guide for us as new parents and BC is a fabulous sleeper and a happy baby and I truly believe that the routines were a factor!

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