I thought this was an interesting article.
Chores help prepare kids for adult life
Start early to develop good habits
BY KATHERINE DEDYNA, VICTORIA TIMES COLONIST; CANWEST NEWS SERVICE JUNE 18, 2010
Your three-year-old is not too young to match the socks in the family laundry basket; your five-year-old can make his bed by pulling up the comforter. Your eight-year-old can make her own lunch and your 10-year-old can do all of the above, plus put away the groceries and do the family laundry -- sorting it by colours first.
Is this happening in your home?
There's no reason why it shouldn't, says California psychologist Michele Borba, author of 23 books on child-rearing.
Putting away toys, removing plastic dishes on the bottom rack of the dishwasher, emptying small wastebaskets -- even very young children can master these roles, she says.
Yet kids get off the hook more than other generations did, "and that is a disservice," not a plus, Borba asserts.
In fairness to kids, some are so scheduled they simply don't have time to take part in the daily and weekly tasks that keep households running smoothly. Other parents are uncomfortable with strictness and find it easier to do the chores themselves than argue with kids to instil the habit.
Consider calling chores "our helping tasks," she suggests. "It's part of the routine and it's part of what makes us a happy family, and it's the expected thing that we do together."
The more chores incorporated gradually into children's routine, the more prepared they'll be for adult life without you, she says. Unfortunately, one of the biggest missteps parents make is waiting too late to set the pattern for chores, she says.
Toddlers and preschoolers really want to help and will imitate what Dad and Mom do. So give them a little broom when you sweep; they'll start modelling your behaviour early and possibly keep at it.
Research shows a link between pitching in early and responsible conduct later.
"By involving children in tasks, parents teach their children a sense of responsibility, competence, self-reliance and self-worth that stays with them throughout their lives," according to research reported by the University of Minnesota. The best predictor of success for people in their mid-20s was found to be parental expectation that kids start participating in household tasks at age three or four rather than at age nine or 15, according to research based on an in-depth study of 84 young adults by Marty Rossmann, a professor of family education who measured completed education, starting careers, IQ, relationships with family and friends, and drug avoidance.
That said, chores should not be overwhelming and kids should be involved in determining the tasks to be completed.
Parents trying to incorporate chores later in childhood should take care to target only one task at a time, try to make it fun and make sure kids aren't expected to figure out what's needed.
"The thing we overlook on the chores, is we assume that the kid knows how to do it and we don't gear it to the child's level," Borba says. So do the chore alongside the child at first to correct, reinforce and praise their performance. Eventually, they should be able to perform under their own steam.
"From that moment on, your rule is never do for your child what your child can do for himself."
Find simple things that your children can relish doing and that boost their sense of being contributing members of the family, and just keep adding to that list. Borba is not crazy about tying allowances to chores. After all, parents aren't paid to do the dishes, so why tie kids' spending money to that? She suggests offering kids extra pay for extra chores, but whatever parents choose, they should be consistent.
Childhood chores may even ward off depression, according to Harvard psychology professor Dan Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing -- Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age. His team surveyed 650 teens about happiness, relationships and materialism with a special interest in "what was required of them by their parents," including cleaning their rooms and helping with the dishes.
They found two of the risk factors for depression were the absence of required chores and of regular family dinners, his website notes.
"Because families tend to be smaller now, each child becomes that much more precious. We want to protect our children from all kinds of pain; we try to make their lives perfect," he says on his website. On that score, frustration, in the form of chores or other expectations, can work toward the development of a "psychological immune system" that will help kids cope effectively with emotional stress later on.
- - -
10 TIPS FOR CHILDHOOD CHORES
1. If chores are something new, hold a family meeting to announce the changed expectations.
2. Overlook the protests.
3. Make sure they understand that chores are part of family life, not punishment.
4. Avoid a nagging tone of voice when discussing chores.
5. Break chores into smaller chunks to encourage mastery rather than overload.
6. Require completion, not perfection.
7. Have clear deadlines posted on a chart to avoid last-minute conflicts with other activities.
8. Attach consequences for opting out, whether withholding screen time or even clean clothes for an older child who shirks the hamper.
9. Make sure your child knows how to tackle the chore by explaining the steps, supervising initial attempts and inspecting the result.
10. Praise jobs done well and on time.
Source: The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries by Michele Borba
© Copyright (c) The Edmonton Journal
Read more:
http://www.edmontonjournal.com/life/Chores+help+prepare+kids+adult+life/3169897/story.html#ixzz0s3B9Drlm
Digg
