Why do wish for another baby? - .:Early Learning Community:.

I have two children, but have always wanted lots - when I was 11 I said in an unprepared oral at school that I wanted to be a housewife and raise children. The rest of my class except for one girl (who said she wanted to be a boy when she grew up) said they wanted to become veterinarians. Out of that class I am the only veterinarian. When I was young I said I wanted 8 children. I then became diabetic and got a bit older and when I met my husband I told him I wanted three. He said he wanted two. I figured we would sort it out once we had the two as I knew that having children with a type 1 diabetic mother might be tricky. The second pregnancy was awful - we called the ambulance three times because I was in a coma from hypoglycaemia, I nearly crashed the car a couple of time and got lost driving it a few times too. The second pregnancy also ended in a C-section and in this country if I were to have a third it would be an automatic C-section too. On top of that my second child had colic til 3 months and was in NICU for 4 days after birth due to sugar level issues.

So why do I want another one? I love mothering my children. I love homeschooling them. I love being with them. I love teaching them things and watching them grow. I love watching them get more and more independent. I like watching their personalities develop. It is possible that I want another as I was the third of four children - imagine if my mother has stopped at two. DH is the second of three and only wants two - I did try asking him if he would miss his sister if his mother had stopped at two.

My DH needs a medical check if we are to have another one - I think we were pretty lucky there to have the second child. I have made him an appointment and will see what they say. Depending what he tells them it could even end up that we may not be able to have any more children. I am looking into pump therapy which is supposed to make pregnancies much easier for diabetics to handle and will supposedly prevent most of the problems I had last time (it will not prevent all the problems and it will not be perfect, but we at least shouldn't have to have the ambulance out - it may also prevent the problem of having the child in ICU at birth which would make me so much happier) I will apply for this therapy soon and just hope that our medical aid will pay for it as it is really is shockingly expensive otherwise.

After we have done this, I will feel like I have done all I possibly can to make conditions right for a third child. Our house is big enough, we can fit three in a car without buying anything bigger, we are homeschooling, we have clothes so that wouldn't be a huge expense and actually this is not a financial issue with us - we would stretch to three without putting anyone at a huge disadvantage.

BUT my DH wanted two and his initial reasoning was that we should not be adding to the earth's population. I asked him could we adopt and he didn't answer and then later said that a family of four (adults included) was the perfect number. When I really ask though he stresses the medical issues - he says I nearly died last pregnancy and my two children need me. If I could make things right medically though I have no idea if he would agree to another or not. I have suggested a vasectomy but he will not go through with it and states: What if something happened to one of the two now - then he would want another.... which to me still leaves the door open slightly - he's not totally there to say no, but it could be tough getting him to say yes. And my time is running out as I am 34 and have been diabetic very long - I would have to have my tubes tied after a third as three really would be as many pregnancies and children as I could handle.

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