I think socialization is overrated. When people look at homeschooling and ask about socialization, I think what they are really concerned about is the public school culture. It's not necessarily superior or inferior, but it is it's own culture, and yes, it can't be duplicated at home. Homeschoolers have their own culture.
I was homeschooled. My parents enrolled me in dance, soccer, 4-H, and a myriad of other things because so many people told them that I wouldn't have any friends. This was in the 80's when homeschooling was more frowned upon. Sadly, most of the peers told me the same thing- if you went to public school, you'd have more friends. Hello! I'm in this dance class to make friends. I was alienated in those groups, and it was hard as a little kid. I don't think my kids and younger siblings have gone through that as much as homeschooling is more prevalent now.
I don't regret homeschooling at all, and I love homeschooling my children. They get plenty of opportunities to interact with other children, both their own age and with a variety of ages. We go to story time, choir, and a special gymnastics for homeschoolers, as well as church and various other activities. Socially, I did just fine and I grew up to be a social butterfly in college. I was fairly popular. I don't think any of us would want to characterize our social skills to what we were like in grade school. Even so, a very poor social upbringing could certainly stunt someone for life, and that could happen to homeschoolers and public schoolers alike.
As far as unschooling goes, we've been taking a stab at it while we move, and I've been surprised at how much the kids have continued to do on their own. I can't imagine it being as successful if they didn't already know how to read, and if they didn't already have some kind of expectation of themselves of what learning should be like. I've given them free reign to Netflix (naturally not adult content, within reason!) just to see what they would do, and to let me work. They did a self-led survey a few days ago and all three of them agreed that they prefer educational over non-educational. They have gravitated towards the more educational shows like Wild Kratts, Signing Time, Daniel Tigers Neighborhood, and Dinosaur Train. They have also played Hooda math and starfall extensively. But aside from screen time, these are a few other things I've witnessed:
- Peter, a week in, asks me when he has to do his math. I tell him he doesn't have to do any school this month and he is in charge of his own education this month. He frowns, thinks a moment, and asks, "Do I still get to do math if I want to?"
- Patrick has read dozens of books and has come to me several times to ask me what different words are.
- Helen has continued to practice the piano on her own, asks me to play duets with her, and loves doing her own art projects.
- Helen decided to be Ruth's tutor and has done flashcards with her almost every day. Ruth eats it up. Somehow Ruth also picked up on how to hold a pencil correctly and loves to color with her sister.
- They all keep asking when I'll do school with them again and are looking forward to it.
Unschooling works great for some families. I don't think high academic achievement is important to them, nor does it need to be a high priority for every family, although it certainly is for me. They focus on different things, so their outcomes are different. Most unschoolers wouldn't be surprised or phased by the results of these studies.
Overall we do a lot of unschooling-ish learning anyway. If my kids read a science book, for example, I mentally check it off and focus on other things. Formal schooling is a couple of hours a day. There are things my kids wouldn't learn if I didn't require it, that I feel are necessary for them, so we do it. Peter doesn't like writing, for example, and he's behind in this aspect so we are going to hone in on it next spring. They also achieve more book learning when I'm involved and that's important. Overall I would like education to be more self-directed like unschoolers do. If I ever did switch to unschooling for MY family (every family is different), it wouldn't be by way of "de-schooling". Instead, I would find ways to make sure they gravitated and followed through with the subjects I want them to learn. If they didn't read that science book, they didn't come when I invited them to a science experiment, they didn't ever pull out the science kit I bought them for Christmas, there would be a hole in their education, and I would be responsible for that hole. I want their education to be balanced, and I won't give them the reins until they are mature enough to get that balance on their own. It's a privilege I want them to want to earn. The sooner the better! This month showed me that they are much, much closer than I thought they were. I'm hoping to be there by the time they are 8. This was even before I read "The Self-Propelled Advantage". I think most of the amiable things about unschooling are present in her approach- a way to throw out the bathwater of unschooling and keep the baby.
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