Have you found teaching child no 2 harder/more difficult than child no. 1

[Kimba15]

Hi everyone,

I am experinencing a bit of a dilema my youngest daughter who is now almost 11 months is (and I know I shouldn't compare but I do) is no where near where her sister was in reading/signing development as her older sister was at the same age. I have had to tailor a different program for her as she just will not sit through YBCR or  Monki see or Monki Doo and about 15minutes of baby signing time. I do LR chinese and English twice a day. I do Tweedlewink 1-2 times a day, 5 hand made flashcards. Every second day I do some of ther home made books and I also 2 homemade EK cards twice day sometimes 3 because her older sister asks to see them to. But in terms of out put when I ask questions (which I know I shouldn't but can't help myself) like which word says monkey she will get it right only 50% of the time. I am now very anxious and feel like I have not given her everything her older sister had of me (which I am awatre that once there are more than 2 that it si impossible to give her all of my time) I feel like she is 'behind' her sister and I feel as if this is my fault.

The second time round I have found it harder to maintain consistancy even though everyday without fail I do manage LR. I struggle with the fact that I did take my eldest to Gymbaroo and did alot of the physical exercise program with my eldest but I have not done it to the same degree as with my youngest as our family circumstance has changed and I have not been able to attend Gymbaroo but have still done exercises at home, but I am beginning to feel I may have not given Miss A the best start neurologically and I wonder if I have not given her the best start physically (she is almost walking but she crawls funny not in a cross pattern)

Has any one else found this with there no 2 child and if so how have you conquered your own feelings and how have you changed your style of teaching to suit them? I would also like to add she is extremely interested in whatever her older sis is doing and thinks the bess knees of her so when I try and teach her I do try to get Miss S to join in andteach to like a big girl but if Miss A tries to touchanything MissS getsvery upset??? AHHRG!

[Tanikit]

My youngest is now 8 months old and things are very different from when I was raising my eldest. The first thing I try to remind myself of is this: while I took my eldest to groups that I cannot take the youngest to (mainly because the eldest is around and I have no one to babysit her) my youngest has a friend to play with her and talk to her and pull her around and she is not so lonely. I think the time I see this most is when they are in the bath together and I remember my eldest all by herself playing with the toys.

I also do LR with my youngest everyday and she hears more stories than my eldest did at the same age but she gets to hold the books less (and eat them less) because my eldest takes them away from her. The other thing I have to remember is that they are two individuals so things will be different. My eldest crawled at 6 months, my second child at 7.5 months and yet they seem to both be at the same stage with the walking in some ways. Its hard not to compare but its also important to remember that they are different.

I also try to get my eldest to teach the younger and the younger wants to have and do everything her sister does so perhaps when she gets bigger this will help her learn faster though it will probably also result in more fights between the two of them. I think on a positive note the younger is learning social skills earlier than my eldest did and she's also having to learn patience and waiting more than older one did. There is more to life than just academics though as a third chikld myself I do want my second to get as much academic input as possibleas I felt I was ignored academically over my elder sister who also read much earlier than I did, so I am paying attention to it.

[Frukc]

it is often said that you can not get apples from the pear tree and pears from the apple tree. every child is deeply different and we have to respect it.

I am also much thinking about the difference between the first and second child. I know many families (including mine) where the first child is very considerate and intellectual and the second one is stormy explorer and more practically oriented. There is even such a statistics that Nobel praise winners are most common among the first children

I have my own theory about it. May be I will explain it later. Can you compare the first and second pregnancy? probably, during the first pregnancy (especially during the last third) you faced many intellectual challenges but during the second pregnancy you were more busy with practical things. so do our kids

[Frukc]

P.S.
I do not test my second child, at all. But we do not have such a high standards as you have

[Kimba15]

You might be right on the high standards bit!

I have heard that 1st borns do tend to be more intellectual and are also most likely to be presidents or prime-ministers but that is because I think you tend to expect a lot more from your first child because you want to do everything right and you relax more with each subsequent child as you know that they will survive most things as with your first your experiencing everything for the first time with them and you yourself are unsure what to do so you are more strict with them and worry more than you do with your second or subsequent children.

It is hard to think that they (the children) will be so different when they come from the same parents.

Yes the second one is more practical she is certainly into pulling things a part. I don't remember my eldest doing that.

I was just wondering if others had or are having the same experience???? Seems to me they are

[Frukc]

I was just wondering if others had or are having the same experience???? Seems to me they are

I started to think about it when I found my second child in bathroom eating soap. Than I remembered that the second child of G was also eating soap but the second child of L was eating snails in garden Their first children are very intellectual and they never ate soap or snails 

I read also that first children are more unsecure because their parents are more concerned that they must behave well.

[dalis]

hi,

read the link below
http://www.brillbaby.com/teaching-baby/reading/the-native-reading-method/the-native-reading-method-philosophy.php

it could be simply that your youngest is learning in a diffrent way then your oldest one.  and even if it takes a bit longer she will one day surprise you with her knowledge.

[Dr_Mommy]

Hi
I tend to agree with Dalis. My eldest is 2 and youngest is 1, not even a year apart. I started the early learning programs with both simultaneously about 3 plus months ago. The eldest has picked up quickly but the youngest is still playful and has not SHOWN me anything except a few word recognitions. But then again, my eldest walked when he was 9 mo and the younger only recently started walking although she's verbalizing ALOT more than the eldest when he was her age.

I personally think that how a child develops is very individual and different. Their mannerisms are different, the way they think, the things they pursue, food they like... most things will be different. As a parent I always try and do the best I can with both, no doubt that I tend to do a little more with the eldest, but that's only because the youngest is asleep more!!! haha.

I believe that a day will come when my younger one will give me some form of output. It maybe be later rather than sooner, but I've got no problems with that. The younger one also learns alot from the eldest... so that's a definite bonus!

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