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Author Topic: Irregular lessons - feel really bad about it, shall I give up alltogether?  (Read 4708 times)
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velvetkatze
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« on: June 02, 2014, 10:02:34 PM »

I am not a very good educator if I compare myself to other parents on these forums. I have LR and LM, I also show Russian reading lash cards. I had attempted showing Doman Math cards to my child but they never went well, so I stopped after I showed (almost all 100) dot cards. I ad a few start-stops, and currently only managing to show one part of LR lesson and 1 music lesson a day, and 5 sets of Russian cards. I have a 4 month old baby as well, so same amount goes for her. I have started the baby earlier on all the programs than the older one - the older girl started cards from 18 months and then LM and LR
I have purchased Chinese curriculum, but hardly touched it..
My older girl is not reading by herself yet (3,5y.o) but loves to be read to - we take 12 books from the library every two weeks, plus I buy her magazines and we read a lot of old favorites as well.
I am so disheartened that she cannot read yet, and I feel bad about our irregular lessons - but I cannot MAKE her to watch them, I tried bribing, being overexcited about the lessons, making other family members watch, toys, etc. but she is very much into imaginative play now and that's good for brain development and we play outside a lot, planting, climbing, going to the beach, watching insects, going swimming, going to playgroups that she loves etc.  - there's just not enough time for everything I need to show her. And I feel like all of my (probably humble in some people's opinion) efforts are not working. Shall I just give up on the lessons and let her be?
Anyone have any success stories with irregular lessons or is it all just a waste of time if I cannot push hard enough?
thanks!

 

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Mandabplus3
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« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2014, 10:18:39 AM »

I was very irregular with my first child and I still think very single lesson was worth it. She didn't read early but once she began to read she surpassed her peers at lightning speed. she reads well above her age  even now. At age 10 she can read and comprehend anything I can read and can speed read to boot! She completed the entire primary school reading curriculum 5 years early. 
I wasn't disheartened about her lack of success because I was convinced any input I gave her was more than other kids got and would make a difference in the he long run. Don't be disheartened but try altering your approach, you could try adding in some phonics. Do it while you play, p is for princess and pirate and playdough. Preschool prep dvds  are also popular.
Since you have a baby it could be helpful if you asked your older child to teach the baby to read and use LR that way.
Keep looking for a way to present words. Don't worry about the retention and success they will come. Be creative in showing words. Use a whiteboard, a manga doodle or a note book. My kids all loved these as they could tell me what to write and I could teach phonics while I wrote them out by breaking up the words into sounds. Then of course they wanted a tern writing words for me too.
And lastly always show the baby the words reguardless of the results of your oldest child. They are not the same children and may learn quite differently.

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velvetkatze
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« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2014, 09:56:51 PM »

Thank you very much Mandabplus3! I guess I'll just keep going and see what happens. It's just so disheartening sometimes and I keep blaming myself for all the little failures.. But I am glad it worked for your daughter

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Lappy
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« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2014, 10:40:31 AM »

Hi Velvetkatze,

I read through your post and thought that I may have a bit of something to share. This is something we tell parents who use our programs quite often - and some of them do get to the 'panicked' and 'stressed' state of "why are my children not learning anything?"

Yes, we believe that all children have the innate ability to learn to read. However, when parents ask "when will I see results?" we always answer thusly:

Our strong advice is NOT to focus on results.

Focusing on results tends to bring about negative emotions such as anxiety, pressure, stress and disappointment; we know how sometimes you may not see it as putting pressure on your child, but when you begin to use words like 'blame', 'disheartened', 'push', then it may be a signal for you to sit and just rethink your approach to teaching.

These negative feelings - regardless of whether or not you show them outwardly - may be picked up by your child. This is the one thing we try to help you avoid at all costs! yes

Instead, we encourage parents to treat lesson time as a time for bonding with your child. The aim is to expose your children to reading and to have fun while doing so, thereby giving them a joyful and loving experience. Keeping a bonding-focused mindset will make you a much more effective teacher, and you are also likely to find that your children learning to read is a very pleasant side-effect.

Even Doman placed importance on this: that's why he called early education a GENTLE REVOLUTION. This whole teaching process and the education of your children is a beautiful adventure, and it's an adventure you are meant to enjoy rather than stress over.

Having said that, it is very difficult to say when you would start to notice that a child has started to remember words. It's important to remember that all children are different and develop at a different pace. A lot also depends on when you start and how much your child is enjoying the lessons.

Some parents who started early (eg., at 5 months) started noticing that their child can recognize some words as early as 9 months. Some parents who started later (eg., at 2 years) notice this even after 1 month. Some parents have reported that their children never showed any signs of learning for many months, until suddenly one day they read out words that they see in the street.

Whatever the case, always remember that this is not a race!

Any exposure to reading that you give to your child during the early years will already be very beneficial. Kids will only show that what they have learned when they are ready to do so - this cannot be predicted.  happy

Now, just sit down, and give yourself a pat on the back. If you have worried thus far, it just means you care for your kids' education and you put importance in it, and that's a good thing. But try not to lose sight of the ultimate goal: to have your children AND YOU enjoy this learning journey. If your children find that you are enjoying the amazing process of learning about the world, then you have already laid a great foundation for them to eventually learn to LOVE LEARNING.

Hope that helps!  big grin

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Krista G
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« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2014, 04:29:42 PM »

I love your reply, Lappy!  So much wisdom there.

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Krista G
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« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2014, 04:37:53 PM »

If she likes imaginative play you could teach her doll or teddy bear while she helps you.  Remove her completely from your focus and spend time teaching the toys.  I saw a video years ago that was brilliant.  The mom was showing the dad math flash cards.  She specifically was working with the dad and of course the baby was always right there wanting to be a part of it.


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« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2014, 06:21:30 AM »

I think I know what you are going through and I feel somewhat different than the others who have responded.  I agree you should try not to focus on the results.  But, if you have been at it for two years and haven't seen any benefit then I would consider trying something different. It doesn't sound like either of you are having any fun and that could be the problem.  My son wasn't in love with little reader for the most part and didn't learn to read from it.  All kids are different.  Some kids love it and it did interest him sometimes but for the most part he was not begging for it.

After giving up on LR, We used a combination of readingbear.org, monkisee, and preschool prep (not all at the same time) and now after about a year and a half my son is a pretty good reader.   We did monkisee flash cards in conjunction with the videos as the last thing before bed and he loved it because howie and skip were on the box.  It was part of our routine and he would remind me if I tried to skip it.  The videos are much more entertaining than LR.  I think they are what made the flash cards so appealing. 

I'd say, if you try something different and she still isn't interested then maybe letting it go for a while is the best thing.  All those other wonderful things you are doing with her are going to benefit her so much it won't matter what age she learned to read.  I hope it goes well for you!  Keep us posted!

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« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2019, 12:26:29 PM »

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