Struggling with Preschool Vs. Homeschool

[TeachingMyToddlers]

I guess you could say I loosely home school my daughter now at 20 months. When she turns 2 in November, that opens us up to the world of preschool should we choose to go that route. So far she is progressing fabulously, I don't think "academically" preschool will teach her anything new. But they will do a lot of hands on play with new toys, games, art, that type of thing I think. She also would have more of a chance to run and play outside and use tools and equipment we might not have at home. (we don't have a yard or a park within walking distance, the preschool has a park in the back for recess.)

She would be exposed to another authority figure which I see as a good thing, but she also would be exposed to lots of germs and potential sickness, learning playground rules and possibly biting, kicking, hitting, that sort of thing, and she would be more vulnerable away from me where I cannot protect her. She also would hopefully have a chance to develop a little more freedom although she is fairly independent now. She would get to play and have fun.

There is a very good chance we will be moving to Japan in May 2011 (we should know in a month or so), so whatever we choose may very well temporary. If we do go, I for sure want to enroll her at a Japanese preschool for the language exposure alone.

Anyway, there is a 2 or 3 day a week mother's day out semi-preschool program at a local church. It's not montessori (my first choice) but it is Christian which is a huge plus in my book. They do crafts and sing songs, that type of thing. It will be somewhat of a strain on our family because we only have one car and we will all have to get up very early to drop my husband off at work. Like at 630 am, and her preschool would start at 9am but she would spend about 45-60 minutes in the car going there and back to my husband's work., spend a little time at home, then off in the car again to preschool.  And then of course we must pick him up in the evening, which is another 45-60 minutes in the car depending on traffic.

She seemed to really enjoy the atmosphere and classes when we took the tour. I would have preferred a very expensive private montessori school, but this is the only one within a good distance and within our budget. One of my big hangups about this school is the 2 year old room may be divided into 2 classes and there will be only 1 teacher per class, no assistant. That means that one teacher (to a max of 8 kids) will be helping my daughter use the bathroom (she is potty trained but needs help with her pants). If there was ever any kind of abuse to take place, I assume that is where it would be. I worry that she is not old enough to fully explain to me if something bad were to happen. She can speak in 2-3 word basic sentences and tell me when something hurts, but cannot relay elaborate stories.

The door to the classroom is always open and they can call in the director for extra help as needed. Would that fear be a deal breaker to you or am I just being an overprotective mother? She has probably already learned all of the things that are teaching for the most part like shapes and colors, but the social interaction might be beneficial and the activities would probably be fun for her. I don't know. Childhood is about play and fun, and I think it would be lots of fun for her.

This just seems like such a critical time in her life, I want to expose her to all the good things I can but not at the expense of our family stress level (it would make things tighter financially and juggling 1 car would be a pain, plus dragging my 7.5 month old around everywhere and making him sit in the car). And then there is the germ/sickness factor and the bathroom issue (although it would be a female teacher, and yes that does matter to me). There is a possibility that I could get my husband to carpool on the way home once or twice a week.

Would preschool really do that much for her that it would be worth it? Did you see your child grow leaps and bounds after enrolling them in preschool at this age? I loved it as a kid, I actually went to two or three years of preschool and one of those years I went to two at the same time (one morning program, one afternoon program). She would be able to start 1 month before she turns 2, so right around Halloween. So if we moved in May, that would be about 6 months spent of preschool.

I am home with the kids 99% and we don't really leave the house. As far as other extracurricular things, we recently started Baby School which is a mom & me type class for 30 minutes a week. I have two friends come over with their kids for playdates twice a week on a regular basis, but that is about all of the social time she gets with peers. We go on break at church for the summer because of the way their summer kids program is structured, but starting next month she will be back in the toddler program on Sundays again. Oh, and we recently joined a semi sctructured play group but have only been twice, they do outings at the park, crafts, etc, and again we have to juggle the car to do that.

I am thinking of enrolling her in the new language school opening next month which is a mom and me type class.

So all of the activities we do, I am either present or in the building. Maybe I am just having a hard time letting go....but is 2 too young to "let go" of anyway?

I wouldn't mind officially homeschooling her as she gets older (like kindergarten age), I think I will almost prefer it. But this is such a critical time, I just don't want to deny her any enrichment experiences that might help her grow and learn and shape her even more (positively hopefully) as a person.

I'm really conflicted about the whole thing. Thoughts???

[TmS]

I share your conflicts (daily) though my husband and I have reached our decision.

There are too many sick people around and it's always someone the child trusts (not always an adult  and certainly not always a man). My sister works for a govt group in charge of making sure institutions are doing the right thing in this regard. Obviously she can't repeat anything to me but she has relayed to me that it is far, far more common than people realise and yes it happens at this dreadfully young and innocent age and sometimes the perpertrator is no older

Until I am sure that my son understands what is his and his alone and can relay that information to me and others and until I am sure that he can come to me with uncertain feelings or anything else he may need to share I simply cannot put my trust in another.

If there's only one teacher and eight children and this teacher also has to take care of toilet duties at some point seven children will not be being properly attended.

Having said that many many children experience preschool on a daily basis and have a wonderful and safe time.

Personally we're sticking to play groups and mums and bubs classes or bubs classes we can observe. When he needs to go to preschool I'm sure he will let us know. In the meantime we're making sure his relationship with us is growing stronger and that he understands we will always be there for him and that there is nothing he can do or say that would change our relationship with him. We do this because we know that we cannot live in a bubble and there will come a time where we can't be there to protect him and in fact this is a necessary part of his development. Just not one I feel he is ready for now.

We are lucky to have the choice

The money and travel time that would have gone into preschool goes into trips to the zoo or national parks or museum or the like. He still gets to socialise, albeit in a less intimate fashion and gets wonderful learning experiences too.

[shadah]

I have taught preschool and so has my sister. Both were very good preschools. They were the expensive kind most parents wish they could send their kids to. At my sister's school, they had a very advanced curriculum, but it never got taught because of discipline problems. At the one I taught several of the teachers had "attitudes" I wouldn't want my child emulating. They were rough and critical in their language-never in front of the parents or the director. You don't know what is going on in the classroom. There was very little beneficial social contact between the children. They learned to be selfish and self-serving or they wouldn't get to play with anything.                     But, I will say that the 2 year old class did a very good job potty training, teaching basic concepts, and doing crafts. The older classes were limited to a very basic curriculum that most of the children already knew- shapes,colors, and letters. We were not allowed to teach anything beyond those basic concepts because of state regulations.

[TmS]

Thanks Shadah,

That's always the impression I've had of what must go in the classroom but it's always nice to hear an insider's view.

I think Doman is right - we are our childrens' best teacher

[goodnightmoon]

Every child and every parent has different needs and desires. Personally I think a two year old does not NEED any kind of preschool especially with as great a mom and it sounds like you are. On the other hand if you would be a more relaxed and happy parent by having your child go to the church for a couple of hours a week while you get some quiet time i think there are some great benefits to that choice. I also love local play groups where children can experience new toys, crafts, snacks, and other children while their moms are still in the room with them as they explore. Good luck!

[TeachingMyToddlers]

Thank you for the feedback. I am still on the fence, but the protective mommy part of me thinks that the potential risk is not worth the potential benefit, of course neither are absolute.

I think I going to call over there tomorrow and verify how many teachers are in the 2 year old room. If it's one this year, then it's a deal breaker. If it's two, then I have more considering to do.

[linzy]

I sent my child to an expensive montessori preschool for the social interaction and I honestly believe it brought him backwards socially. He picked up some bad habits mainly things the other kids did to try to get attention. He also could already read at age 2 when he went there and knew his shapes, colors and numbers so he didn't really learn anything. But he did make learn about friendship. His class was very loving and the kids would hug eachother hello and goodbye everyday. When he would come in in the morning the kids would say "Blaisey is here and hug him". On the flip side when he first started he was ill for about 4 months with one cold after another.

We recently moved and with moving we have hired a nanny, so now he does about 1.5 hours of "school work" a day and then the rest of the day he spends hiking, playing in the sandbox, drawing with chalk, painting and other than the baby he gets the full attention of an adult which developmentally I think is better for him.

We will be enrolling him in a few classes like gymnastics and swimming so he can have interaction with other children, but we will be there to supervise.

[2010BEBES]

...
This just seems like such a critical time in her life, I want to expose her to all the good things I can but not at the expense of our family stress level (it would make things tighter financially and juggling 1 car would be a pain, plus dragging my 7.5 month old around everywhere and making him sit in the car). And then there is the germ/sickness factor and the bathroom issue (although it would be a female teacher, and yes that does matter to me). There is a possibility that I could get my husband to carpool on the way home once or twice a week.

Would preschool really do that much for her that it would be worth it? Did you see your child grow leaps and bounds after enrolling them in preschool at this age? I loved it as a kid, I actually went to two or three years of preschool and one of those years I went to two at the same time (one morning program, one afternoon program). She would be able to start 1 month before she turns 2, so right around Halloween. So if we moved in May, that would be about 6 months spent of preschool.

LilyandOwensMom, it is a difficult decision you and your husband have to make.

I am in favor of homeschooling maybe for the first 3 or 4 years of baby's life.
They grow so fast and as TmS recalls Doman words: Mom is the best teacher. I too have some doubts on what goes on at preschools. I not necesary think there can be sexual abuse or violations but there are other issues of preschool. One reason is the sickness problems. My grandson has to skip atendance many days because he gets sick. Another point is the distance and family issues on transportation. Being in this forum and reading the wonderful work of homeschooling moms, i realized that there are many important reasons for not leaving your kid so early. Academical speaking they learn much more at home with a dedicate mom than at preschool.
The only point in favor of preschool is socializing but a 2 or 3 much better continue with local groups or relatives.
If you are wainting for the possibility to move in May maybe you can wait until then to decide.

It also depends on the place you live.
Here in Peru most moms work full time and can not afford homeschooling. Also kids and parents have inteviews and are evaluated at an early age (2 to 4 yrs) depending of the school they choose. Considering that is that mostly all kids go to preschool after they turn 2 yrs so that they can go to the school they wanted.

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