Not doing enough...

[hypatia]

I wanted to know if some of you sometimes feel the way I do.
I've been interested in early education before my daughter was born, that is something I feel strongly about, and my top priority (I'd rather buy her an extra Little Pim DVD than an extra pair of shoes for her, or me).
 
I show her words (both on flashcards & LR), she watches Little Pim mandarin, I sing to her a lot, and she gets to listen to 2 languages at home.
So why do I feel guilty when, for example, she is playing by herself while I'm on the computer & I think, well, I could be telling her about the colors on that truck or motivate her to crawl after me.
I guess as she is still young, I have no 'proof' yet that she really  is learning and sometimes find myself thinking, well, we'll do more when she is older.

Do you sometimes feel like you're not doing enough?

[nhockaday]

Sometimes playing can be just as important as learning other things, even if it is by herself.

[Joanna07]

all the time

often times my son is not interested in the activities I plan for him, he just likes to run around throwing balls and playing with cars, I find myself thinking that he is not learning enough. It makes me feel frustrated sometimes but I try to explain to myself that he is just a baby and I need to follow him not the other way around. So if he wants to throw balls let's be it, hopefully he'll become more interested in learning soon

[LDSMom]

I feel the same way, I often feel like I may not be doing enough, especially since we're coming to the end of YBCR..but over the last few nights, something wonderful happened!! He learned that to keep me from leaving the room at bedtime, all he has to do is ask me to read a book! This was unintentionally done but I am so thrilled and will stay and read and read and read to him because he is paying attention and he knows somehow that I love to read to him. So now I feel better, because at least he is letting me read to him again for longer than 30 seconds. Boys are so active! It's wonderful though, I wouldn't change any bit of him. It's so fun to see them growing and discovering new things. Isn't parenthood awesome?! I think we all need to relax, do the best we can and know that we are great parents because we are at least trying to help better their lives by teaching them! Even when we don't do it perfectly or consistently. Every bit helps. 

[Jillpea]

I love what you wrote LDSMom, yep I feel I could be doing more too. But everything my son does I try to look at as learning something. When my son feeds our dog his own food he's had to learn patience. He used to thrust food into her face and she'd just back off, so he's learnt to just hold out his hand still and she'll gently take it from him. Today we went to the local park for the playground equipment which I could look at as 'just playing' but I thought about it as balance and co-ordination. Even sleeping you could think of as recharging their batteries for the next lesson on LR or even the opportunity for their imagination to expand as they might dream about the characters in the book you read them before their nap.

[nohayo]

hypatia

You know your baby needs to learn to play by herself as well That's an important skill, to be independent and to entertain herself ... so don't feel guilty about it at all, think of it as "planned independant time"

[MonkeynoseMomma]

hey hypatia,
Bless you. I feel the same way sometimes, and it's good to hear I'm not the only one.
Be at peace. It sounds like you are doing a great job.
And remember, "if Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy".
Give yourself a break. You need to rest, relax , and recharge so you can be at your best. What is good for you is good for your baby.
The most important thing is that your baby knows you love her. Every thing is secondary to that.
Heaps of blessings to you.

[trinity papa]

Yes did feel that way sometimes end up feeling pretty uptight trying to accomplish the said schedule ..... but doing so creates more resistant ...... and unhappiness ....

So the only schedule we follow now is the babies schedule ..... since we started teaching reading, maths etc early it becomes routine ..... most of the time is play time and when she gets bored i take out the cards and flash to her, read EK, ... play card games .... and then back to CD music and play time again .... after 30-60mins of playing its flashing another set of cards and music lessons ... if she has no interest we skip and do something else .....

Sometimes i think learning too much end up learning nothing ..... jack of all trade master of none ... sure GD says the child can be learning 2 or 3 languages .... but proficiency?? or how much in depth a language ..... in any case what do we classify as learning .... isn't play or self play also learning ..... isn't interacting and socialising also learning ?? Sometimes we just have to give them a little room to explore on their own ..... my girl would take a bottle, explore it .... and in 5 mins she discovered how to unscrew the cap on her own ..... good and no good, good she learns and discover things, she applies the rules that we teach her ..... but not good .... in the sense she tries to open all bottles she sees and the contents spills out and could get very messy and sometimes dangerous ... so needs constant observation .... 

i would consider self-play time, if she is willing, as self exploratory, self-learning, reflection, mind jogging, meditating or visualising thoughts into action, replaying what they learn .... sometimes after a little nap, or self-play she would suddenly walk to me and show me totally new signs or something she discovered .... interesting

[Kimba15]

Hi Hypatia and other parents,

I have found that I often feel as if I am not doing enough, I see what other parents are doing here and think that I could be doing more and since returning to work I feel even more guilty that I am not doing enough. DD has independant play time to and my husband thinks that's important and so do I to a certain degree but after about 5 minutes I can't stand it any longer and go in and spend time with her. I also started to follow the GD method and found that I got soo up tight trying to accomplish it all that I broke the cardinal rule because it was no longer joyous or fun.

Lately Sophia dosen't really want to watch YBCR she wants to crawl around and get her self up and down the stairs and like you I wonder if she is actually 'learning' anything. But as the other's say learning to entertain one's self is just as important as social skills and if your daughter can play on her own without having you there to entertain her, then you are obviously doing something right. I think as a parent it is hard to strike that balance. You sound like you are doing plenty and your little girl is thriving.

[purplefungi]

I don't feel like I'm doing enough, but I know that I'm doing as much right now as I possibly can. It is easy to get worked up or overwhelmed once you learn about all the early learning possibilities that are available now.

To keep things in perspective, I just do whatever I can. If we don't get in the last set of words for the day, then oh well. This is a lesson in flexibility for the child too. Also play is a child's work so I definitely don't want to take a lot of that away from my children.

I'm not trying to raise a genious or a super baby so whatever I do extra is just extra.

[KL]

What is 'enough'?  Is what we're doing too much or too little?

I think we could argue either way and no answer will be right or wrong.

The question should not be whether what we're doing is ENOUGH or not, because that is a RESULTS-ORIENTED mindset.  As we all know, what is the most important is NOT results, but whether our children are enjoying the learning process, and we get some good bonding time in the process.

So I would ask myself:

- Am I giving my child SOME exposure to the various learning areas, like reading, etc.
(I believe virtually ALL parents on this Forum will qualify for this, because the degree of exposure is not relevant!)

- Is my child enjoying the process?

- Am I cultivating my child's love of learning?

- Are we bonding more because of it?


If you answer 'yes' to the above, then I believe you're doing a wonderful job!

So in summary, do what you can, whenever you can, and DON'T STRESS over it.  Drop the need for achieving results, because that will cause you more stress.  You are not helping your child by stressing over it, because your stress will likely come across when you teach, and the learning process may then become associated more with stress than with joy.

My 2 cents.

[2010BEBES]

I am very excited on all the products i am knowing through brillkids conversation and i am trying to use many of them but i am conscious that a child also needs time by himself.
As KL mention, the important thing is that we are doing our best and if our child (my grandson in my case) enjoys it then it is worthwhile. It all depends how he receives all the information and you know if he is asking for more or if it is time to relax a little and stop pushing to much.

[Bebita]

I think what we're trying to do with our children through early learning is absolutely wonderful, but every time I fall short of my 'ideals' and what I think I should and could be doing and I feel discouraged about it, I remind myself that I  grew up as an average kid, had pretty care free childhood, didn't learn to read until first grade.. and I think I turned out quite OK, with a degree in nursing, speaking 4 languages, still devouring every worthy book I can get my hands on.... and I don't feel so discouraged anymore and just do what I can and most of all love, care for and enjoy my baby.
my 5 cents...

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