How to know when to move on when your toddler doesn't perform

[teachingmykids]

I know I am not the only one out there with a 2 year old who doesn't like performing. I am having a hard time though knowing when she knows something and it is ok to move on. For instance I had her watch the meet the phonics video for a while. I think she knows her letter sounds but if I put a letter up she won't say the sound. If I give her two letters and ask which one is this sound she gets it right. One time when I was watching reading bear she just spit out the answers but she pretty much usually just watches and rarely will give an answer. She does good when I do the reading bear quizzes but she often doesn't feel like doing it. I'm not worried or anything. I just don't know how long to put a video on when she doesn't let me know what she learns and has the concept down. I am going to go through the preschool preps she needs work on and I go through reading bear with her. Then I want to do phonograms and sight words but how do I know when she knows something. I know she is learning. She can talk but she just doesn't let me know. Maybe she needs to know a concept a little better for her to spit it out but I don't want to watch videos over and over and not be able to introduce more concepts to her.

[Korrale4kq]

Are you familiar with the 3 period/step/part lesson? It goes by several names but the concept is the same.  It is a Montessori concept that I have found works amazingly when teaching James in pretty much everything.

Step 1. Name or identify the concept or thing for the child. "This is A. A says /a/."  This is our input period.

Step 2. Recognition.  Set out several letters and ask the child to point to the correct on. "Which letter says /a/."

Step 3 Recall. This is the hardest because they have to know the concept best. "What does the letter A say."

My recommendation is to work on step 1 for a while. Do a few letters at a time. 5 is a nice number. Then move onto step 2. If the child fails to answer step 2 go back to step 1. I would continue on for a few days with these same 5 letters.

If your child still fails to perform or show any knowledge within 5 or so days I would move onto more. But I would bring out the prior 5 letters as review each week.

[Korrale4kq]

Actually... With your child only being 2 I would stop phonics instruction completely for a bit and focus only on sight words. 
I would return to phonics after your child is able to do sight words. By this time your child should be able to read many simple stories and learning phonics as they read is a lot less stressful.

The theory is that it is difficult for children under the age of three to read phonetically. Although there are many exceptions. I have found that the majority of one and 2 year old readers learnt with sight words first and then moved to phonics later if they didn't already intuit phonics.

Andecdotal story.
James learnt sight word reading. He knew all his letter sounds before sight words. However he was reading fluently via sight word method by 2.5. He was able to recognise all his preschool prep sight words before he was 2. 
I kept plodding along with phonics instruction and though James was able to sound out many unfamiliar words he struggled. It wasn't until he was almost 3 that I took a complete phonics break. It was about his 3rd birthday and James started to readily use his phonics instruction as his books got harder.

[teachingmykids]

I am going to do more sight words with her but even with words she is being exposed to she rarely says them. She can do steps 1 and 2 but not step 3. She has done step 3 a handful of times but for the most part she doesn't. I want to do all the preschool prep videos (meet the sight words 1, 2 and 3,letter sounds, digraphs blends and numbers especially)  I will skip meet the letters until much later. My other kids were older when they learned these concepts and they did tell me the letter sounds after not many viewings. I did quite a few viewings with my 2 year old and she can't do step 3. I can work on her with a few letters at a time to see if that helps. I see that whatever she does learn she learns by sight word reading unlike my older kids who learned by phonics. I still would like her to really know her letter sounds even though I know she won't be blending them for a while. Once she finishes preschool prep I will work on more sight words with her and reading bear but I just don't know how long to show her stuff before moving on to new material. Should I go for recall? She gets recognition fast but not recall. I don't know how many times of seeing something it would take to get to recall but it seems like it will take quite a lot for her.

[Korrale4kq]

I would settle for recognition then move on. But, come back and review stuff that had been done.
We she is older 4 or so I would settle for recall before moving on.

[Tanikit]

My nearly 2 year old also does not do recall and even recognition she does correctly only sometimes - my elder DD was even worse as she would give me the incorrect letter or word with a grin on her face knowing full well she was not giving me the one I had asked for. Just keep moving on and keep repeating yourself - there are only 26 letters so just keep showing them - you can show all 26 at once even in the young ages just like you point out endless items per day or if you feel more comfortable show 5 or 6 a week and then rotate them.

I have done both sight words and letters with my 2 year old and unlike my first child me second one seems to have got a bit confused and is pointing out the individual letters she likes best in the sight words I show her - I just say: yes, that is m (for Mummy as this is why she likes m best), this word is _____(map, magician, hamster or whatever it is) however she can recognise a lot of sight words correctly and even recalls a good many, so I just keep moving.

[nadia0801]

It may be that your LO feels that she's being tested when you ask her. Games are less-stressing option to show performance. I remember my oldest doesn't like to verbalize before but when I bought a Leapfrog Voice Recorder (the one that has built in word games that makes you participate by recording your voice), she gamely voiced-out what she's thinking. 

[readermum]

Don't worry... I think she is continuously learning.
Previously I was worried when my girl would not sound out a single word when i showed them the cards
But when she played on her own with the cards, she amazed me by remembering every single word
Sometimes they just want to chill and play....
They probably do not want to perform in front of people
After all they are kids

[Lappy]

It's true what all the parents who chimed in say - and just to add a bit more to it, here's a friendly reminder:

Try not to get stressed over teaching your kids, regardless of whether or not he/she shows recognition, retention, or whether or not he/she "performs" when asked.

The whole point of teaching - after all - is just to provide positive, consistent and educational stimuli which they can have fun, absorb and work with during some bonding time with you, the parent. Learning or performing is a pleasant side effect, and this will happen in due time when your child is ready to show it.

Most of the time, when a parent worries or stresses over the learning process in any way, children absorb this 'negativity' and stress - even when a parent thinks they don't outwardly show that they're frustrated. This could be detrimental to the learning process, and one of the possibly outcomes of stressing over teaching young children is that the child learns to associate learning with 'stress' and ends up disliking learning altogether.

So just remember to have fun with your kids while learning. If your child is bored of watching something, then move on. If your child asks to do something or watch something with you, go ahead and do it. This is how you can take the cue from your kids: as long as your kids are having fun doing something educational with you, it's okay to keep on going ahead.

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