So overwhelmed... looking for planning guidance

[Sharpie]

Hello! 

I have a 21 month year old and feel so overwhelmed regarding what I should be doing with him.  I started him on Doman-style flashcards when he was an infant and stopped when he seemed completely uninterested.  From there, I continued with PowerPoint presentations that I had found on Brillkids and classicalmommy.com, etc.  Started doman-style PowerPoint math as well.  Then over the last few months, due to sleep-deprivation, (I have a very poor sleeper for a son), I slowed my efforts down considerably, to precisely nil. 

I feel very disenchanted with myself that my son doesn't know how to read yet and that it seems that we'll be starting from scratch.  He LOVES to learn and feel bad that I don't have any idea what I am doing so that he can progress faster.  Printing flashcards for words and BOI isn't really feasible for me.  I've downloaded the trial Little Reader and am hoping to purchase it which will take care of  the reading aspect of his learning. 

But I'm very overwhelmed regarding what to do with BOI.  Is there a way to do that with PowerPoint presentations?  Some of the early learning blogs that I've seen make me feel incredibly inadequate and I just don't know how/where to begin teaching my little guy about this world.  Locating information to know learn how to plan a curriculum has been very difficult.  There's just so much information available that I have no idea where to start.

I desperately need guidance to know how to move forward, gathering info, presenting it, knowing how long to present it, what I should be teaching a 21-month year old.  I've looked in the free downloads section of Brillkids for BOI and just don't seem to know which one's are BOI and which aren't. 

Ugh, and then there's also math and music. 

Bottom line is, how do I incorporate everything into a lesson plan and know what and when to teach everything? 

Please forgive the gloomy tone, however, any guidance for a very disorganized, confused mommy would be extremely helpful! 

Thank you!

[DadDude]

Hey, don't worry!  It sounds like you've done great work with your son.  I'm very sure he has benefited hugely already--maybe he isn't showing it yet, but he will, when he's talking and reading more.

Most (all?) of our kids go through phases in which they don't like what we think is most important for them.  I am very big on books, and I was pretty put out when my son went through a phase, when he was four, when he just didn't like books.  Now, he's pretty keen on them again.  No worries!

We didn't even start with Doman-style early education or YBCR until my son was 22 months.  (I had done a lot of other sorts of educational work with him, though.)  And, well...look at the "how and why" link in my sig for a video of his progress since then.  My point is that it's a little silly to lose faith!

OK, now on to some practical suggestions.  Have you considered the following options?
1. Your Baby Can Read
2. ReadingBear.org :-)
3. iPad apps
4. Lots of books
Those are the things I'm using more than than anything else with my second, who is now 15 months.

But those are just resources/products.  I suspect that what you need more of is general advice.  Here you go:

• • You are not at all alone in your complaints that your Doman-trained baby isn't reading yet.  What I and quite a few others strongly suspect is that some children, for whatever reason, simply don't infer phonics rules from whole words.  Why should this be universal, after all?  Many older children don't figure it out easily either.  Well, what Doman doesn't tell you is that it is possible to train little ones in phonics, too.  That's what I did--again, see my "how and why" essay below.  Reading Bear is meant to be a resource for all ages to learn phonics, including 21 month olds.  For what it's worth, my 15 month old has gotten fairly tired of YBCR and iPad flashcards, but still loves Reading Bear and demands it daily!  ("Beah! Beah!" he says, cutely.)
• • Take some time to think through the methods and goals of educating your child, from time to time.  Everyone should do this.  It's not easy, but it pays off.  I do this in a giant Word file, myself.
• • Keep trying new things, and do more of what your child likes.  This is general-purpose advice which will take you (and everyone) far.  Don't get stuck in a rut, expecting what is not working to start working.  Take a break from things your baby is tired of, try new things, and then go back to the old things after a month or two, and you'll probably discover that baby has a renewed interest in the good oldies.
• • Much more advice of this sort in my essay.

Finally--do try to find ways to get more sleep.  It's so important and will make you feel much better!

[Ayesha Nicole]

Hi Sharpie!  

Welcome.   I would recommend beginning with getting your Doman Reading program in place on a consistent basis first.  And once that is running smoothly, then add Doman Math, and then Doman EK.  

When my children were 18 months, I saw an infomercial for YBCR and ordered it.  While waiting for it to arrive, I discovered IAHP and Doman method and ordered the Doman Reading book that I read before I received YBCR kit, and once I received and reviewed YBCR, it was obvious that is based on the Doman method, with phonics, presented in a multi-sensory learning format that is pre-made for parents, but takes longer to get through than Doman method for reading.  However, I used it until I could create my Doman materials in LR and used LR curriculuum also, and then I used the Doman math ppt before getting LM, and then I never did get to Doman EK because I began teaching my children to read Classical Arabic/fus-haah for our Qur'an.  I tried to do Doman Pysical program, but it did not really work out either.  

However, despite my sincere desire to do all and be all - I was unable to do so because I have twins and little help since my husband's responsibilities are quite a bit in his field.  Yet, I don't beat myself up either because I know that I did the best I could, and my children are ahead of their peers for reading in English and have a great interest in math.  I am also going to begin teaching them soroban/abacus at home with the help of workbooks and am considering software later.  With regard to Arabic, they compelted a famous Qur'anic reader for the rules of recitation for the Qur'aan (our holy book) and I got them through the last 30t part (23 pages) of the Qur'aan for both sight reading with applied phonics, and English meanings.  We recently hired an Egyptian teacher via skype to continue with them because it is too much for me at this point, and they are the youngest children at 4 years 8 months, that she has ever taught for Qur'anic sight-reading and memorization; which most children begin the reader at age 6 and just learn to listen and repeat, and then sight read later.  

So, my point, is, know the theories and methods very well before beginning; establish a consistent routine; prepare your materials 1 month in advance; begin with reading first and only until it is regular and easy and fun; then add math; and then add EK or whatever you want to teach them next; and most of all, keep it fun or they will be uninterested and it defeats your purpose.  I will search for a thread that has a planning excel worksheet that I found helpful and post it later.  Until then, relax and enjoy the time with your child!  

[aangeles]

I suspect that a lot of parents on this site are not as consistent with our early learning programs as we would like, either. I, for one, have had weeks, and sometimes months of time where all teaching comes to a complete standstill because, well... life happens... the baby gets sick, I get sick, we had to move halfway across the continent, and then, 2 months later, halfway across the world! The trick is to just try and pick up where you left off. Sometimes, even if you feel like you have to start all over again at the beginning, I think you will find that your child will pick things up faster than you expected, because of all his previous exposure. Don't be discouraged! Even if you were just starting out from scratch today, your son will be still benefit greatly from it!

[lois1]

Hi Sharpie, I thought I would throw in my tuppence worth since I have been at the overwhelmed stage as well. There is a ton of stuff out there & it's not going to be possible to do everything but something is always better than nothing.

I compiled a list of the s that I wanted to teach my baby, (he's 15 months old). We have limited resources & time. I try & spend at least a few minutes (?5) every day, twice a day (on a good day), in each "subject" area. By that I mean, that he has my undivided attention while we do that activity. I have no evidence base for chosing this method other than it works for our family. By having a list/ home made curriculum, I feel focused & have a sense of achievement at the end of the day.

Language: 1) I have been signing with my baby (I learnt BSL online then taught him)
                  2) I'm bilingual so in the house we speak English. Out & about we speak Spanish.
                  3) I have some Kuna friends so we both are learning a 3rd language from them. Kuna is only now being written down & they keep changing
                  the spellings so it will likely only ever be a spoken language for us:)
                  Future: I would like him to learn French (both of us speak a very little) which he will be exposed to when he's older so would be useful.
                  Chinese would be a bonus but right now it's a distant dream.

Reading: 1) I have little reader & do that twice a day but so far only in English. We do the actions/ make the animal noises/ make the sign etc in the
                    multisensory part.
                2) Prior to getting the software I made my own flashcards & when I remember I do that.
                Future: readingbear.org looks good & I will introduce other languages in LR later.

Maths: 1) I read the Doman Math book, was an instant convert & am waiting on my flashcards to arrive.
             Future: Have read the abacus threads with interest & will definitely introduce that ASAP but want to get the flashcards established first.

Music: 1) Play classical in the background as much as possible
            2) Clap &/or sing along to the simple children's songs
            3) Let him plonk around on the piano
            4) DoReMi/ Note flashcards maybe once a day
            5) homemade "instruments"; e.g a plastic bottle filled with buttons is a drum, is a maraca, is a counting toy

"Art": 1) Water drawing board
          2) Colour games; E.g. he has to find something the colour red & then we play with that. So far he knows orange so we have a LONG way to go:)

Movement: 1) Exercising with mummy, we dance, we spin, whatever makes him giggle:)
                   2) Swimming. We will be away for a while but on our return I will be taking him daily to the pool to teach him to swim (again there are several
                       threads about this subject).
                 
And that's where I drew the line! I try to keep everything fun. If he's fussy I stop & try later but most of the time he's keen to do more.

He's also outside a lot so that means he is regularly exposed to a variety of flora & fauna & life in general which he learns about as we go about our daily tasks even though I'm not sitting down & specifically teaching him. We don't have a tv & only a couple of baby dvds (which we are both bored by) so he does spend some time entertaining himself & already I can see his little imagination developing. I think he quite likes some peace & quiet in order to get up to no good:-) 

This isn't set in stone & each area can be added to in the future as he grasps a concept. For example things like geog & history will be introduced as he begins to read on his own & he finds his own areas of interest.

It turned into a lengthy tuppence worth, sorry Hope it gives you an idea,
Lois

[Stodd]

Hi Sharpie,
First of all, I know exactly wht you feel, I felt the same way and sometimes I still have that. I also try to teach /show my son as much as possible but even though I'm home with him, seems not enough to find new stuff, organize .....
What I'm doing lately is that I actually make lesson plans every day so I can see what I want, covering those subjects I want. And of course the ballance is not always perfect and can't do always everything.
I also have major subject, like Language-biggest challenge is balance for me; and Math, Music, Art, Reading, Science..I try a little bet of these subjects every day since sometimes it takes only a few minutes. I also try to work with a certain schedule which works really good with my son. He knows what's next. For example, in the morning we start with readinga book or twoo and  watch spanish dvds: Little Pim or histlefritz or Speekee. In the evening we read again some books before bed. Every day after his nap we do a Mandala lately, helping his photo memory. He loves it. Of course I have to be flexible too.
Brillkids is a huge help for ideas or just things I forgot about for a while and the downloads of course.
Hope I could help. If you have any questions just let me know.

[Mandabplus3]

Ok while I love the advice you have been given I have some very different advice for you to consider. Firstly and most importantly you need to sort out the sleeping problem. Tired mummy's and grumpy babies do not make good learners or teachers! You sound like you need some quality "me" time. Use it to have a rest and relax. Gt some books from the library on teaching kids to sleep.
Then obviously you like us all want to teach your baby everything. Please remember you have many, many minutes, many, many days and quite a few years ahead of you both your aim is to expose your child to enough interesting information to make learning a pleasure for you both. You want to instill a love of learning before anything else. Hard to do while tired!  
Now for the teaching bit! Pick the one thing you want your child to learn most. It's probably reading ( but it may be math or music) buy a ready made program for that subject and do it daily. Doing one thing well is better than being overwhelmed and doing nothing. If you find that you can easily handle that one thing then after a few weeks add one more thing. Again buy a ready made program! There are plenty to choose from. Your time is better spend with baby than in making BOI if you are stressed. Keep this going for at least a month before you add anything else. If after a month the routine is going great add some simple accasional learning. Like power points on BOI or reading abc or phonics books or maybe teach some music skills. You will find in time you can do it all ( well probably not all, boy that would be a long list!)  if you don't pressure yourself to do it all NOW! Build it gradually to what you can both handle and remember to include lots of love into your program so the guilt disappears.
Best of luck to you both

[Kimba15]

I think Mandablus3 said it beautifully you need to get some sleep and fix the sleeping problem first before you start anything. and then prioritise what you want to teach and then add different things in as time goes on and you gain more confidence. Your not alone I have felt exactly the same way you have many times.

[lzp11]

I feel the same way most days!  It often seems that everyone else on this forum is making amazing progress and we are somehow getting left behind.  I totally agree that you need to try to get some sleep (and maybe some 'mummy time' if at all possible during the day or evenings 

Don't forget that any time you spend teaching your son is valuable , no matter how small - and so much more than most people are doing with their kids, so do not feel under pressure to do too much at the start.  Also agree with prioritizing - choose one area at a time and get established with that - don't try to do 'everything' all at once!  We probably only manage to spend around 15-20 minutes during breakfast for early learning on the computer and then short 5 minute (or less) activities through the day.  I've been trying to bring learning into play as much as possible (for example maths by throwing a tea party for all her toys, allowing us to talk about numbers, ordinals, one to one association of objects, fractions - sharing cakes etc).  We might watch a language DVD at some point in the afternoon too. 

We are learning music through soft mozart and it is fun but really really bite sized pieces of learning (perhaps a minute or two only) work best for us.  Quite often I get to the end of the day and think we haven't achieved anything but when you go back through, there are plenty of tiny pieces of learning and they all count!!

Good luck!

[Mae_Jakob_Ka]

My boy used to be a little owl and did not want to go to bed. He woke so many times at night and did not want to take naps too!
I don't really have solid schedules for teaching. I just go with his mood. Though I thought I could have done better with schedules.

Most of my teaching is software based (LR/LM) which only take about 30-45 minutes a day (in total).
Other than that, we just play together and do whatever makes him happy. A happy child makes a happy Mom and makes learning fun and more enjoyable.  If I am so tired during the day, I nap with my son..

If it's too much for me to handle, I take a break and start again when my son and I are ready.

Good luck!!

[Sharpie]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment!

It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who hasn’t been entirely consistent and has bouts of overwhelm. 

Thank you for the support regarding sleep, I am indeed working on the sleep issue via a sleep book that I’ve been working my way through, but two looming molars in my son’s mouth have been more than a little disruptive. 

My son absolutely loves to read, thankfully, and we spend gobs of time doing it.  He’s just such a little sponge that I’ve felt bad that I haven’t met many of my goals thus far.  I’m really not trying to be a super-parent; I’m just trying to feed his insatiable desire to learn.  (Certainly no one accused me on this forum of that, however, my husband hints of it on occasion.  )  I must say that when I read about children my son’s age who know all of the Presidents, for example, I feel VERY far behind considering that my son isn’t really even talking yet and certainly doesn’t know the Presidents.

Regarding reading and EK, I think I’m primarily lacking confidence that what I’ve been doing was/is enough and was/is making a difference.   Probably because after reading a few different Doman books, I never truly felt that I was doing it right or had a true handle on it.  For example, (if you’re still with me and thank you if you are!), what I was doing with PowerPoint, was using presentations I found online and breaking them down into 5 words per day.  I would mix them up and show them 3 different times a day.  Then, after about a week, I would retire the presentation and start a new one.  Subsequently, I would do up to 10 presentations a day. 

So far, I think what I wrote in the previous paragraph is fairly Doman-friendly.  But… as far as retiring one word a day and adding a new one, well, I didn’t do that (or whatever Doman suggests, I’m not sure); it was too confusing for me to do in PowerPoint and keep track of what I was doing.  I also didn’t really have much of a plan (for lack of knowing how to) in choosing which presentations to do.  Hence, I never knew if my son was being shown words in a beneficial sequence.  Had I followed Doman’s book that wouldn’t be an issue, but I simply didn’t have the time, so I have relied on PowerPoint presentations that others created.

Additionally, the comments regarding creating a plan are great. I’ve created several different versions of lesson plans/schedules/curriculums, but although I have a pretty set plan for things like general activities, science, sensorial, art, music, Montessori-inspired activities, etc, again, I don’t really seem to have any rhyme or reason for doing what I do.  I have a giant collection of ideas I’ve found online and make a curriculum from whatever I pick out, but it’s pretty random, because I have no idea what he should actually be learning right now.  What should he be learning now and what “should” he have already mastered?  How would I know?  How do other parents know?

Perhaps other parents may know innately what to teach their kids and when, but I’m not very intuitive when it comes to that, and the more blogs I read about what other parents are doing with their toddlers, in order to try to figure it out, the more I become overwhelmed and frustrated. 

Now that I seem to have pinpointed where I feel I’m lacking the most, (thanks to this forum for inspiring me to write it all down ), any other ideas you have regarding knowing what to do when and what age would be most welcome and extremely appreciated.

Thanks again.

Sharpie

[khatty]

Sharpie,

First, I am loving this discussion.  I have 2 kids that are night owls and generally do not need a lot of sleep.  I started to learn about Baby Learning with my first kid because she was awake so many hours in a day I just had to find more stuff to do with her, playing just wasn't enough.  I agree on the trying to get some "ME" time and fixing your lack of sleep.  However, the sleep thing is hard to fix.  I now have 2 kids, and both sleep a MAX of about 9 hours in total a day - after fighting it for a long time I now accept that there sleep needs can't be fixed.  I can't fix that my kids have blue eyes, or are right handed, and I can't fix the amount of sleep they need to function.  They need very little for their age.  On the one hand, it is fantastic, I have many many many hours in a day to teach them.  On the other hand, it is awful because I am consistently sleep deprived and exhausted.

I like the idea of picking one area - reading or math or music - and focusing on it.  Sleep deprivation means you can't do it all, but luckily you can do some of it.  And remember Doman says that learning is one game that you will win, no matter how poorly you play it

[Mandabplus3]

Sharpie, you worry too much about what other people are doing 
Maybe this will help a little. With my first daughter, who incidentally slept through thte night for the first time at one year and one week of age and then didn't do it again until 2 and a half! I made myself feel better with the saying " smart kids brains are too active to sleep"  Btw I think there is some truth in that one!
Anyway I did such a haphazard domain flash card program that she didn't learn to read until school. I did solid everyday by the program one month and then nothing for 3 months then a week on then a week off, I am not very organized and we never had a routine or corriculum. Was it worth it? YES YES YES she picked up reading so fast when she started school she went from maybe 20 words to reading and comprehending at a 12 year olds level in one year! From not reading to reading novels in a year!! I am a teacher and I can tell you that doesn't happen often. I can confidently say it was from my very lazy flash card program. I can say this because my second daughter is picking it up slower. She had less flash cards in her childhood because by then I had another baby. Boy oh boy I had no idea how much harder three kids would be compared to two!    now my number two is learning faster than most of her peers but I feel a bit more work needs to be done for the same results. Finally my son is now  just 4 and since the girls are at school and I don't have to do so much work for our business I have time for him, I totally intend to pump him with knowledge but I am a realist and I know I am likely to slack off! Even still I know every little bit counts I have seen
the proof twice!
So age for age starting at 21 months, ( if I was the perfect version of me   ) I would use LR and LM daily as per the corriculum, this takes almost  no effort and is a bargain in the value for money category. Do this until you have completed the one year corriculum, and then add to it with the free downloads and make your own lessons as time permits. This would be my priority and if it was all I ever did I would be happy with that!
At the same time I would set a goal to read at least 1 book a day ( aim for three) include non fiction, abc books and a few early readers. I personally love the baby bug, lady bug and cricket magazines for kids, they are wonderfully rich in language and stories and not crap!
So now we are up to age 3, LR has run out of corriculum so you need some more stuff! You need phonics training now. Pick any phonics series, or use dad dudes ready to go flash cards ( where is that link?) And work through them. At the same time start your child on very basic readers which are full of those commonly used sight words.
At three I would also get soft Mozart and start teaching yourself and child how to play piano and supliment it with all the musical learning the program offers. we all love it in this house, I couldn't sing their praises enough! Really this will keep you busy enough but feel free to add some math if you think you need to. Music is good for the math brain anyway.
At 4 I would ensure the reading is being consolidated with general knowledge for comprehension. Even at grade one my daughter still regularly starts a book she has no hope of comprehending! So pick a topic and delve deep into it through vocabulary, arts, craft, drawing, and try to get some writing going. 4 is also a pretty good age to do some memory training excersizes because they think it's SOOOOO much fun.
If you did all this and lets face it over three years it wouldn't be that difficult, you would have a child who starts school reading, doing advanced math, playing piano with perfect pitch, with awesome general knowledge and a to die for memory,  who would be a delight to have in the classroom. you could be justifiably proud! Now other mums will do more and others ( like me!) will do less but that isn't the point at all. It's your life and your child. Do what you can, any exposure is better than none. Just think each time you do any activity "oh the motor neurons are growing, lucky kid to have me for a mummy!"

[lois1]

Hi Sharpie,

You have lots of great ideas but like others have mentioned, choose 1 area & then once that becomes a daily habit you can add in another area. 1 Doman phrase that keeps coming up is to stop something before the child wants to stop so that they are asking for more. The last few days my son has not been remotely interested in the phonics part of LR. So right now, I'm not forcing him to pay attention & hope that he will eventually watch LR for the additional few seconds. 

What to teach? You're his mummy so you already know. Does he like animals? Teach him about animals. Does he like cars? teach him about that. It sounds simple, but it is! I would also say to choose 1 method & stick to it. There are several good programs but I would just get confused trying to follow more than 1 at once.

Most babies learn something & then seem to forget. They haven't really forgotten they've just moved on to mastering something else. My son waved bye bye at ?8mths, I was so proud then he completely stopped doing that till about a week ago. The skill was still there but he would not do it on demand. Kids don't like being tested. Last night I was trying to get him to sign "teddy bear" for his grandma on skype... I was going on & on about it. eventually he did the briefest of movements that could qualify as a sign & carried on playing, as if to say. "ok Mummy here you go, will you stop asking me already."

You are your son's greatest teacher & he will be picking up whatever you are teaching him. (You know how easy it is for him to pick up daddy's bad habits ) It may not be being communicated back to you yet but it will. Every child is such an individual & they develop at different rates.

Got to go, but happy teaching!

[kmum]

I am not the most organized person either, so I realized that I needed to find the method that works best for me.  I used the Doman method more as a guideline & adapted to my own style so that I could be more consistent.  It seems to be working because my 4.5 year old who has Down syndrome was recently evaluated at almost a 4th grade reading level!

I do not retire a word each day - way to confusing & hard to keep track of.  I show a series of words for 3 or 4 days (depending on how many times we show them) & go on to a whole new set.  I find this way easier to keep track of.

Remember, when fast flashing, you only need to show the words for a very short period of time. This means that you only need to set aside about 1 minute of time to show a set of cards.  If you do this 3 or 4 times a day, you have spent less than 5 minutes on it.  Everyone can spare 5 minutes most days right?

You said that you read lots of books - another simple way to fit reading in is to simply run your finger under each word as you read (native reading).  You will be amazed at how much he picks up that way.

We do a fairly intensive program with our dd, & one of the things that helps me when we get a new program is to keep the things that are in our routine & slowly add new things one or 2 at a time until they are routine too.  Trying to start everything all at once is way to overwhelming.

Good luck!

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