Teens lacking patience after early learning

[TheyCan]

I have a question/thought for you guys.  I talked to someone recently who did early learning with her son.  He is now in his early teens and in calc 3 at the local college.  However, his mother did mention that once he hit a certain level in math (don't know when - thinking it's recent), that he suddenly had a lot trouble with having the patience to sit down and actually study something he didn't understand.  She said if he didn't understand something after the first time reading it - he was literally in tears.  He's always just known everything - always knew how to read and always knew math.  She never had to teach him slope, etc - because he'd just be told it once and he knew it.  She said he's never had to WORK to learn.  She always made everything an exciting game when he was little.  This concerns me because I think it's that patience and focus that's the real key to succeeding!  Maybe this is why it's bad to have too many gaming techniques for kids?  At some point, you are given a text book with a bunch of boring things that you don't understand at all - and you have to sit down for hours and learn it.  Anyone have any personal experience or thoughts on this?  Ways to prevent this from happening to a teen?

[waterdreamer]

I'm not sure? I mean it may not have been the fact that he can't learn, maybe he just can't cope with not getting it right away. Its kind of like kids that are great at sports and then get beaten and can't cope with it. I guess the best way to prevent this is to teach our children they can't be the very best at everything, and some people may be stronger in another area then we are, and thats OK!

[TheyCan]

hmm - very good point.  I think you might be right.  Curious - would this related to praise?  There was recent thread about how to praise kids - about how you should focus on effort. 

[waterdreamer]

Maybe it is, its hard to say. I fight with this because my son purposely gets things wrong to get a different reaction. I always praise him for effort, however it drives me even more BONKERS when he doesn't try. LOL. So it gets hard to tell when he is half fasting it or really trying and not getting it right.

[DadDude]

I have a question/thought for you guys.  I talked to someone recently who did early learning with her son.  He is now in his early teens and in calc 3 at the local college.  However, his mother did mention that once he hit a certain level in math (don't know when - thinking it's recent), that he suddenly had a lot trouble with having the patience to sit down and actually study something he didn't understand.  She said if he didn't understand something after the first time reading it - he was literally in tears. 

Hey, advanced math, like many college-level subjects, takes serious levels of concentration.  Why expect a 13-year-old to be able to do that?  Just because he's learned more, that doesn't guarantee that he will be emotionally/attentionally prepared for all the advanced subjects.  I wouldn't immediately chalk it down to advanced calculus being less fun/captivating/capable of being made into a game.  Anyway, that was just my reaction, I could be totally off base.

Also, it could very well be related to the fact that he's a teenager, and things do change then...

[TheyCan]

Yea - I didn't consider pushing certain topics off until later - very good point.  I guess it's just that I personally never approached calc 3 much differently than I did pre-calc (even though calc 3 is a bit out there, and calc 2 probably more so!)....just studied/learned it as normal...read the text book, did the homework, etc.  (I was one of those that made As because of major studying and not because of super smarts - different journey!)  I suppose pre-teen/early teens is actually the right time to really begin/stress/emphasize study habits ...so this might be a totally normal, even healthy, situation even though it's calc!  Overall though - I did get very excited about early education after talking with this mother and am very excited about the upcoming journey with my son!

[Sarah108]

Early learning with a focus on RIGHT BRAIN education, should enable a child to creatively tackle a problem that they have never seen before. If the teenager is getting frustrated, it may be that he needs to do more exercises to keep his right brain pathway open. Such as those recommended in Pamela's Wink program. Simply because a child was taught a right brain method when they were younger, does not mean that their right brain pathway would remain forever open. We need to continually practice to keep it open.

So I would guess that the teenager could benefit from adding some Wink lessons to their daily learning regime, and that perhaps the creative side would be "awakened" again and they may find learning difficult calculus easier again?

[wenjonggal]

I didn't do early learning like we do here on this site, but was a very quick learner who was always ahead of other children in her classroom (this in the 60's) and it was a huge shock to me in university level classes when I discovered that I got 60's instead of 98 if I just listened in class, did the exercises, and didn't study. It was very discouraging but I refused to "fail" out of classes, and really had to learn from scratch study techniques, reviewing material, sitting down and applying myself and concentrating rather than breezing through. But it did work, and I was very proud to get As in classes seen as "very hard" after putting in a lot of effort.

Just to say, it isn't necessarily the early learning (though that will definitely help a child be ahead of his peers when material is presented at school), but a situation that can arise for any children in any setting who are totally used to being bright and not particularly challenged, when they suddenly come up against challenging material.

Best of luck in motivating him to discover that he is still super bright, but will have to work to put that intelligence into practice and get results. Once he sees results from putting in more effort, he will be so proud of himself and motivated to continue I think.

[reei]

could it be also because he always learn things in advanced? already learning primary one stuffs and kindergarten and by k3 is already doing standard 3 stuffs.. so he is too used to being way ahead of others and is getting pressured and stressed out with things he is not way ahead of others and does not understand?

[Twinergy]

There has recently been some groundbreaking studies by psychologist Carol Dweck at Stanford on motivation and praise.  This might have some relevance to the situation. 
Video here  
Discussion here

Then there is also the issue of a 13 year old boys changing hormones may cause difficulties in concentrating on things like math.   

[ShenLi]

hmm - very good point.  I think you might be right.  Curious - would this related to praise?  There was recent thread about how to praise kids - about how you should focus on effort. 

Bronson and Merryman talked about it in their book Nurture Shock.  Children who were praised for being "smart", "clever", etc. think that intelligence is innate.  They feel everything should be easy because they are "smart".  When they hit something difficult, they stop trying.  They don't want to look "stupid" so they rather not try and fail.  There was a study on this.  The children were given a test and praised for either being "smart" or for their "effort".  They were then given a choice to take a second test - a harder test or an easy test.  The children who were praised for being "smart" took the easier test.  Those who were praised for their effort took the harder test.

Children who have gone through early learning programs are generally ahead of their peers.  This may invite a lot of "smart" praise from others - teachers and other people who meet them.  It is possible that this teenager received a lot of this sort of praise when he was younger and now he expects everything to come easily.  When it doesn't he gets frustrated because he's supposed to be "smart" and know it all.

[Kyles Mom]

I agree with Twinergy and ShenLi... Just as soon as i read your post, TheyCan, I too guessed it could very well be related to how the child was praised...
Given the fact hes way smarter than other kids, he should have heard hes smart too much that he may feel that he just cant do this...

I too can relate to this, I was brought up with the "smart" "intelligent" label wherever I went, so before I read about the praise method, I too gave up things easily thinking this is not my thing thats why I dont get it so why try....

and also Daddude's got a point there too! maybe hes not all emotionally ready for all this!

[McDume]

"Praising Children, Risking Failure".... It's short, and worth a read: http://Http://bit.ly/dxNazj

[bella]

I am reading nurture shock right now and it is a wonderful book , highly recommend it , i am just unable to put it down . it is very eye opening .
love
viv

[waterdreamer]

I am reading nurture shock right now and it is a wonderful book , highly recommend it , i am just unable to put it down . it is very eye opening .
love
viv

Thank-you for the suggestion, I'll have to see if it is available at my local library

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