unassisted home births

[Autumn]

Hi,

My husband and I are expecting again in May and we are very interested in having an unassisted home birth this time!  He's VERY optimistic...me on the other hand I am happy we are embarking on this new adventure, but I definately have my fears too. I would love to hear others' unassisted home birth stories or experiences delivering at home with a midwife or doula.


Best Regards,
xoxo, Autumn

[kizudo]

I had a doula but a hospital birth.  It was the perfect combination for me.  Midwives are hard to come by in my part of the country or I would have had one of those, too.  Although, a hospital was the only location I was comfortable with...even if I had been able to get a midwife.  I was definitely not willing to risk something going wrong without having a seasoned professional (and resources) to guide me through the birthing process.  It was the time of my life, though.  I can't say I'd do anything differently - at all!

I hope that you find the information you're looking for from those who've been there.

[Autumn]

Hi Kizudo,
Just out of curiosity, what kind of things did your doula do to make you more comfortable?
And did you use any meds?

Thanks!
Autumn

[kizudo]

My doula haD a whole bag of tricks to use...I can't remember much of what she did in the moment but I do know that if I do have a second I will hire her again.  WELL, well worth the money for us!  I do remember that there was orange massage lotion (apparently the orange scent puts everyone in a happier positive mood), some kind of wrap thing that I held on to when I pushed, suggestions for different positions, I remember her putting pressure on my back -she was right up on the bed with me...sorry, I don't remember much - just that I appreciated her presence SO MUCH! 

She also met with us about 4 or 5 times before the baby was born and again after we brought him home about 3 times.

As for meds...I had wanted to do a med-free birthing, however, I had to be induced because of hypertension.  So, first it was the induction medication and because it was early (1 week) my son wasn't ready and took his sweet time responding to the "eviction notice".  I went through 3 nursing shifts...finally after 40 hours (and 11 minutes!) he was born!  I'm not sure at what hour, but my doula, husband and doctor discussed how utterly exhausted I was and proposed an epidural.  Because I trusted all three so much, and all three knew that my desire was to do it unmedicated (as much as possible), I knew that they honestly felt it was best for me and the baby if we would do it.  So, I accepted.  Afterwards, I found out that they had been seriously worried about my stamina being there when "push came to shove".  None the less, I have no regrets.  None at all.

Have you read Ina May's book about midwife/birth stories?  It is a great book to help you realize that birthing a child doesn't need to be feared and that it can be a very enjoyable experience.  It certainly made me go into it with a positive outlook.

[Autumn]

Hi Kizudo,

If I make typos and errors please do forgive me...my mind has been very scattered since about the 5th month of pregnancy. LOL!

I am reading the Ina May Gaskin book about the "farm". I've been reading it for the past 3 months. The birth stories make "Natural Childbirth" look so easy. Maybe I need to go to the farm in Tennessee to have the baby!LOL!   I am not saying I can't do this...I DEFINATELY  know I can, , I just want to know someone will be holding my hand all the way through! I'm not going to lie, I'm definately afraid of the unkown. I've never had a child under these circumstances before. And no pain relief is not easy. I know....my first born was delivered without any help and it hurt like hell!!! I do much better with lots of encouragement.  My hubby on the other hand says if he can survive recon, I should be able to "easily" handle childbirth.  Since that is what my body was designed to do. I am sure I can. I am just looking for the MOST comfortable way to deliver at home without meds. Who wouldn't??? 

I really appreciate all the advice.

[kizudo]

I know...I, too, wished in a moment of fantasy that I could go to "the farm" to have my baby.

I guess you just have to be so completely and utterly sure of the reasons you have to do it "unassisted" and you'll have the confidence to do it.  If you have any doubts, though, why not play it "safe" and have someone there who will know what to do in the case of an emergency?  A doula wouldn't be that for you, but having a midwife (even if she stayed in the next room) may offer you that cushion of security.   Or maybe you have a friend who is a paramedic or doctor who can be on "standby" having tea in your kitchen and available, heaven forbid, if you or your baby is in trouble. 

[Autumn]

Yep. 

I'll just have to follow my heart on this one and do what feels right...even if that means hiring a midwife or having over some experienced help just in case.

Thanks for everything.

Autumn

[Autumn]

Kizudo, my apologies if I sounded harsh or mean. Please forgive me.  I'm just so nervous......

[Krista G]

Autumn,

My doula met with me several times before the birth and discussed my fears and helped me work through them.  She also suggested raspberry tea and lots of it.  This birth that she assisted me in was my easiest birth.  When I was having contractions she would put pressure on my back in the exact spot where I felt pain and made each contraction bearable.  She actually only left me for two contractions to heat up warm ginger clothes for the pushing and I thought I would die without her.  I also like to know that someone that knows what should happen is there and in control.  I do much better when I can be reassured that everything is all right.  The doula placed warm ginger cloths on the perineum area during pushing to help guide the energy to the proper location and reduce the chance of tearing.  They also used olive oil to help prevent tearing as well.

Most of the time birth is just a game of catch and the doctors are there for emergencies only.  Many nurses deliver babies when the doctors are busy.  However, time is precious when something is not right and if you can have someone there on hand in case of an emergency you should.  I am not trying to scare you but my sister's baby died during birth, was revived by her friend that is an EMT and was waiting in the other room and three days later taken off support and buried.  Prior to this I was hard core for home birth, but reality slapped me in my face and I chose to birth my babies in as natural a setting as I could while also having back up in case.  My sister's baby would be alive today had she been in the hospital because they would have intervened and given her a section.

I have never had a medicated birth, although I have wished for them once or twice and you can definitely do that.  A great book that I read with my first is Husband Coached Childbirth.  It was really amazing to read the experiences there.

I have discovered that it is a good idea to have several back up plans in place so you know what you would do if things don't go as planned.

Hope that is somewhat helpful.

Oh, and if you are brave enough to try it, I never was, you can mix 2 ounces of vodka with 2 ounces of orange juice and 2 hours of castor oil an then take a hot shower.  It is supposed to get labor going with a fast birth.  My aunt did it with both of her babies and delivered them within two hours of drinking it.  If nothing happens within 2 hours of taking the drink you can take another does.  I have this book and it is really great.  http://www.amazon.com/Wise-Woman-Herbal-Childbearing-Year/dp/0961462000

You can also get this herbal formula called 5W Capsules.  You take them the last 4-6 weeks of your pregnancy to help you ripen up.  I took them with my 4th delivery and that was fast and beautiful.  I had a contraction at 3 AM and had a baby at 7:40 AM.  I wish the other deliveries had been that easy.

[Autumn]

Hi Krista.
I am so sorry that happened to your sister. That's actually ONE reason I am so nervous! Things Can go wrong!!!

I'll keep you posted on my next decision...but at the moment I think I feel pretty confident that I can birth this baby at home with the help of a very informed, medically equipped and hands on doula.

I just need to stop beeing so afraid of the pain! Thanks for your advice on speeding things up too.
 
Talk to you soon!

XOXO,
Autumn

[Krista G]

In the book Husband Coached Childbirth the women gave birth with no pain or very little.  They talk about how animals when left alone, give birth with out pain and that we can learn from them and birth peacefully and without pain.  Maybe your library has a copy.  It was a very inspiring book.  I have always found that the breathing really helps to get through the contractions as well.  My first midwife told me to blow the pain away through my contractions.  It really helped me.  The doulas also told me to relax through my contractions.  They told me not to hold tension in my face and to relax and let my body do the work.  If I was tensing up I wasn't allowing my energy to fully function for birth.  That was very helpful.  They also spoke so quietly that they brought me into a very peaceful state.

You can do it!  It will be beautiful and there is nothing nicer than having your baby at home.  It is wonderfully peaceful.  I also took lots of warm baths while in labor because the water really helped me relax.

[kizudo]

I just wanted to add that most doulas ARE NOT medically trained.  Their purpose is for emotional support.  They cannot advise you on anything medical.  There are the very, very rare ones out there who are considered both a doula (emotional/psychological support) and a midwife (trained medically) but to find one you'd better get moving!  Around here you have to book doulas by your third month...and midwives before you even tell your husband that you're pregnant!

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