Expecting an unplanned pregnancy - Need some advice

[arvi]

I am expecting an unplanned pregnancy and I am worried a lot about it. I am just not sure if I can take care of 2 kids properly. My now 11month old son is always in need of me and I love him so much that I can't imagine sharing love yet with another baby. Also, what worries me a lot is if I can continue doing all these early education stuff after a new baby arrives.

I wanted to have the gap between two kids to be 3years now if I get pregnant it will be just 20months apart. Will there be any difficulties when the gap is so less. I would like to know from other experienced moms as how they managed early education with multiple kids. Thanks in advance.

[TeachingMyToddlers]

I am going to respond in greater detail when my kids nap, but in short, you can do it!!! I found out #2 was coming when #1 was 4 months old.  They are exactly 1 year, 1 month, and 1 day apart!  So a gap of 13 months.

It was difficult to adjust initially, but I found early learning stuff was really not that much different when #2 was napping A LOT during the day. In the beginning, I also took a nap daily and scheduled them to sleep at the same time whenever possible. And it was a BLUR in the beginning, I'm not going to lie. I was just keeping my head above water. Then I got the hang of it between 3-5 months or so and life was smoother again.

We are kind of undergoing another transition now in how to schedule naps to best fit in early learning for #1. If I stagger their naps, then I do learning stuff with #1 while #2 is sleeping. Then, I have one on one time with #2 while #1 is sleeping, BUT that means I have no free time at alllllll during the day. (To clean my house, pay bills, etc....if you call that free time!). So, what is working at the moment is somedays they nap together, and some days they don't. I play it by ear, but I should really get them on a set day of the week schedule (M/W/F stagger naps and T/TH nap at the same time). But sometimes my son just NEEDS a nap *right this minute* and other days he is just fine.

You will adjust, you will do great! You will wonder how your life was ever complete without this little baby. You will be terrified to be left alone with them at first.  And you will learn.

CONGRATS!!!

And it must not be THAT bad, because I was considering adding #3 to the mix yesterday and #2 is only 14 months old! I think I decided not too, but I might change my mind tmrw

[nhockaday]

It will be hard at first, but after a couple of years they will probably be best friends. That is the one benefit of having kids so close in age. If you space them too far apart then they are not likely to get along until they are adults!

I am a nanny to two kids who are about 20 months apart. It really isn't that hard after you get into a routine. I started watching them when the baby was about 3 months old, and like TMT said, the baby napped a lot. You can try to schedule your older one's nap around the same time as the baby and then you can get a nap or clean or whatever. It will take some getting used to and some exhaustion, but you will be fine!

[TeachingMyToddlers]

I just wanted to add that you'll have a better handle on this than I did because I didn't discover Doman, etc, until long after #2 came along. You have some experience under your belt and it will be a smoother transition.

In the beginning it's okay if learning takes a backseat for a while. You will get the hang of it! You can also encourage #1 to help "teach" the baby which they might find out is great fun! I am really excited for you, you're gonna do great!

My biggest priority was getting DD potty trained ASAP so I could stop spending $50 a month on diapers! 

[arvi]

Thanks for your suggestions and support. Unfortunately, I am not pregnant now. But now I am mentally prepared to raise kids that I might have in future.

[TeachingMyToddlers]

I'm so sorry.

[nhockaday]

Are you ok?

[waterdreamer]

*Hugs*

[Kimba15]

So Sorry Arvi, I hope you are okay!!

[arvi]

Thanks for asking. I am doing pretty well now.

[mruiz]

The best part is, you kept in and not chose to go down the path of what could have been destruction.  I have a friend who went through the same thing and the hardest part was breaking it to whoever who you are holding on to.  And the worst thing that could happen is to carry someone that you are going to regret and hold grudge against for the rest of your life.

Top to that, you have another baby that needs taking care of, so it would definitely be a challenge.

[celiacelia226]

How do I know they have no pregnant?

[hersh0501]

Just keep the child alive, although be ready for the consequences, but let him/her alive

[elpha]

I say never go for any unplanned pregnancy. Must take advice before and after it. It will save your and coming child's life.....

[ecka]

I think it will be okay for you and your husband to have another child. Remember a new added child in your family serves as a blessing from God so cheer up Arvi.

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