We used a pacifier only few months after birth after his first brain surgery - 3,5 months old. We didn't use it all the time, mostly when we were in public places and people stared if your baby cried from all his lungs, like ours did
)
At one year and a half, around a surgery, he refused to use the pacifier, it wasn't helpful anymore.
We tried to use the pacifier rarely and fulfill baby's needs on demand even though he was breastfed only a couple of months after birth, with interruption.
So I would say it was our decision, not his, to use a pacifier. He refused to use it, and he didn't suck his thumb or anything else. He didn't even look for a substitute of the pacifier - either a toy or something else to calm him down. He just wanted... me. I hugged him, and took him in my arms as much as I could daily. The mother seems to be the best help; I believe if I did breastfeed more and better, we hadn't use a pacifier that long and only in certain circumstances mentioned above.
I've seen a mother, in the hospital, asking the nurses to give their babies a pacifier to get used to it
Did she want that baby or not? Did she want the baby for herself or for the sake of the baby? In my opinion pacifiers are tools for parents, to make their life easier, not for the babies... I was against them at first, and if we didn't have to go to the hospital and I could breastfed, I would rather give him milk to calm him down than a pacifier... Thank God he didn't like it much time and he didn't suck his thumb like I did!