Trying to fall pregnant

[AussieMumofOne]

We are currently trying to have another baby! Haha, is that too much information?! Some might think we're crazy as BC is only 5 months old but we'd like a small age gap (as discussed in another post) and are excited to try again. We are extremely lucky and feel very special that BC was a surprise for us as we definitely wanted to have a baby but were not specifically 'trying' to have BC. We were just enjoying each others company without contraception, but never SPECIFICALLY with the mindset that we were trying for a baby. It was a great place to be because although we definitely wanted a baby, we didn't suffer the monthly disappointment when I wasn't pregnant. And then I was pregnant! And nine months later we had a gorgeous baby boy. But now we are trying again and are now having the monthly disappointment of not being pregnant. I am certainly not complaining because I know how lucky we are to have had BC but am wondering if others went through a similar thing and how did you cope? Did it take you long to fall pregnant after your first happy surprise?

[TeachingMyToddlers]

See if your library has the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." It it the fertility bible! Track your cycles via basal body temperature before you wake up in the morning and check your cervical fluids/cervical height to figure out when you're fertile. The software from the website is very economical and completely worthwhile versus trying to track it all on paper which is a pain. The software even told me I was pregnant before I took a test because my temperatures never dropped.

So realistically, I would buy the software to track your ovulation via their calendar and it automatically draws a "cover line" for you, I would buy a basal body temperature thermometer (an oral thermometer specifically made for this that is very exact), and then borrow the book from the library. The www.tcoyf.com website has some message forums too.

The term for this kind of pregnancy achievement/avoidance is called "fertility awareness method" or FAM. There is even a chapter on planning for a boy or a girl! I didn't intentionally plan for a boy or girl, but according to shettles method the boy/girl predictions were correct based on day of conception in the cycle.

Good Luck!


PS. My kids are 13 months apart (got pregnant at 3.5 months or so I think) and I was going CRAZY when I first had number two. Life settled down but they are still a lot of work, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is probably our last and I am glad that they will be so close in age. Just know it's a lot of hard work for Mom during the baby/toddler years.

[a mommy]

Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book! I also highly recommend it. 

[Kimba15]

Are you exclusively breastfeeding BC? Breastfeeding can act like a contraceptive for your body.

[NBailey]

I am on my way home from work on the train and certainly did not expect to see this post! However, in saying that I do not think you are at all crazy. BC is such a great baby. No wonder you want another one! It can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive. Try not to stress about it. I would suggest charting your temp to see if you are getting a pattern where you can determine the time you ovulate. Knowing you though, you have probably done heaps of research on this already. Good Luck!

[AussieMumofOne]

Grrr, just wrote out a really long reply and then it disappeared!  > OK, here we go for the second time!

Wow, everyone here is so kind and helpful! I'm so glad to be a part of this community! 
Kinba15, Good point but unfortunately due to surgery I had several years ago, I was unable to breastfeed despite feeding (...starving...) and expressing exclusively for two weeks and BC losing 15% of his weight within a three day period. So no natural contraception here!
Thanks for the book recommendations too a mommy and TeachingMyToddlers, I shall check out our library next time I'm there. I have read the book by Dr Shettles and found it to be very interesting, informative, logical, scientific and thorough. We will most certainly be thrilled with whatever gorgeous bub we have but are casually trying for a girl. I say casually because I looked everywhere for an ovulation thermometer and couldn't find one. We decided to see how we go for a couple of months and then will get one if need be. I am tracking my periods, ovulation, fluids and 'attempts'  through a great iPhone app we bought to keep track of all of this. It also graphs and monitors BBT (if we had a thermometer that is).

NBailey, I just hope we aren't falling into a big trap here, eager to have another baby and of course part of our consideration in this decision WAS that BC is such a great baby so firstly, hopefully he stays that way, and secondly, hopefully it doesn't even out and we get the baby from hell this time around! Just kidding! (hopefully I didn't jinx something here!) Haha! I know that BC is so wonderful and easygoing mostly because that is his personality, but I like to think that a small part of it is us and I especially think the routines we are using help, so hopefully number two will be easygoing too!

TeachingMyToddlers, I definitely agree with you that having two young ones is hard work but I think in the long run it will work out well! ..hopefully...!
PS: NBailey, stop torturing Lego Man! 

[Tanikit]

How did I cope with the monthly disappointments - basically by crying for a day or two either just before AF arrived or just after she did. I did also use the book Taking Charge of your Fertility and I also charted (using the program on www.fertilityfriend.com - its free the first month and free if you don't want the extra features) I think I spent many many months praying and hoping and yes, crying. The month I fell pregnant I didn't believe I was pregnant - I thought I was having very bad PMS. I was so happy when two lines came up on that test.

You will get there - its tough whikle you are trying - maybe also try joining a message board for people who are trying as the support you get from them is great too. (Use google and search under trying to conceive message boards)

[AussieMumofOne]

Thank you so much Tanikit! We're taking in one month at a time as you suggested and hopefully we'll have some good new soon!

[DadDude]

I just wanted to say: you should never fall pregnant.  You could hurt yourself and the baby!

 

[Kimba15]

A friend of mine at work suggested to me this and it has worked for me twice so far.

rule no 1. Do not have (in the great words of Sheldon Cooper) Coitus every single night have it every second night from day 10 of your cycle. By having coitus every second night it allows the proverbial tanks to refuel and more likely have more sperm trying to reach the egg. Also by having coitus every second night you have more chance of getting pregnant as you are likely to fall on having coitus on day 14 of your cycle when (most) average women sre at their most fertile.

Rule 2. By cotiusing every second night it makes it coitus more fun and therefore not a chore it is a little less something you have to do  :0) and more something you want to do.

Rule 3. HAVE FUN and don't let each month that passes get to you. 

I hope I don't offend anyone by this reply if you do take offence I am happy to take the post down.

[rizoo]

 hi, AussieMumofOne
 
   If You gave normal child birth then it may ok to try for next one. but if you did other type of birth then this will take long time to recover. i think within five month your body will not recover fully  this may not safe  and ready for next baby.




                                                 

[AussieMumofOne]

Hahahaha, thanks for the laughs DadDude and Kimba! Got to love that Sheldon Cooper wisdom!! Thanks also for your advice Rizoo, luckily for us I had a natural labour and delivery and have medical approval from the obstetrician that it is safe to go ahead!

[Joha]

Our first was a surprise, but for the second one we tried www.tcoyf.com after we had tried on our own for about three months. We got pregnant within a month of using the method. It was great because right now they are doing the free beta test for the charting and it makes it so much easier. It really helps you to understand your body which is key for the process. I first heard of this method from a girl that had problems conceiving and after 6 years of trying was able to get pregnant with the method.

Best wishes on your journey.

[Tanikit]

Lol DadDude - try tying a very heavy pregnancy weight to your abdomen and you will find out why so many pregnant women DO fall - balance is totally off! But the babies and us usually do fine - I think I fell down teh stairs when pregnant with my first.

While I agree with you in theory Kimba that is not what worked for us - I ovulated on day 12 or 13 of my cycle and what we did was had coitus on day 7 and then nothing til day 10 and then 3 nights in a row - as this gets rid of old sperm on day 10 and then allows it to build up til day 10 while letting there be fresh sperm every day til I ovulated. I think it depends though on whether there are any fertility problems or not - for most couples every second day should work fine. There are also theories on how often guys should ejaculate to keep sperm both fresh and in plentiful supply.

(Ditto about removing this post if it offends)

[AussieMumofOne]

I don't think either posts are offensive, in fact I find them both very useful! Thanks for your input. If we can't talk about making babies here then we won't have any babies to teach! Wish us luck!

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