Homeschooling and socialization

[Skylark]

Just wanted to share this interesting article I just red. Wanted to just put excerpts, but my daughter is not leting me type... So hope it is OK to share article, I found it very interesting...


Socialization not a Problem
By J. Michael Smith, Washington Times, December 17, 2009

One of the most persistent criticisms of homeschooling is the accusation that homeschoolers will not be able to fully participate in society because they lack "socialization." It's a challenge that reaches right to the heart of homeschooling, because if a child isn't properly socialized, how will that child be able to contribute to society?

Since the re-emergence of the homeschool movement in the late 1970s, critics of homeschooling have perpetuated two myths. The first concerns the ability of parents to adequately teach their own children at home; the second is whether homeschooled children will be well-adjusted socially.

Proving academic success is relatively straightforward. Today, it is accepted that homeschoolers, on average, outperform their public school peers. The most recent study, "Homeschool Progress Report 2009," conducted by Brian Ray of the National Home Education Research Institute, surveyed more than 11,000 homeschooled students. It showed that the average homeschooler scored 37 percentile points higher on standardized achievement tests than the public school average.

The second myth, however, is more difficult to address because children who were homeschooled in appreciable numbers in the late 1980s and early 1990s are only now coming of age and in a position to demonstrate they can succeed as adults. Homeschool families across the nation knew criticisms about adequate socialization were ill-founded--they had the evidence right in their own homes. In part to address this question from a research perspective, the Home School Legal Defense Association commissioned a study in 2003 titled "Homeschooling Grows Up," conducted by Mr. Ray, to discover how homeschoolers were faring as adults. The news was good for homeschooling. In all areas of life, from gaining employment, to being satisfied with their homeschooling, to participating in community activities, to voting, homeschoolers were more active and involved than their public school counterparts.

Until recently, "Homeschooling Grows Up" was the only study that addressed the socialization of home-schooled adults. Now we have a new longitudinal study titled "Fifteen Years Later: Home-Educated Canadian Adults" from the Canadian Centre for Home Education. This study surveyed homeschooled students whose parents participated in a comprehensive study on home education in 1994. The study compared homeschoolers who are now adults with their peers. The results are astounding.

When measured against the average Canadians ages 15 to 34 years old, home-educated Canadian adults ages 15 to 34 were more socially engaged (69 percent participated in organized activities at least once per week, compared with 48 percent of the comparable population). Average income for homeschoolers also was higher, but perhaps more significantly, while 11 percent of Canadians ages 15 to 34 rely on welfare, there were no cases of government support as the primary source of income for homeschoolers. Homeschoolers also were happier; 67.3 percent described themselves as very happy, compared with 43.8 percent of the comparable population. Almost all of the homeschoolers--96 percent--thought homeschooling had prepared them well for life.

This new study should cause many critics to rethink their position on the issue of socialization. Not only are homeschoolers actively engaged in civic life, they also are succeeding in all walks of life. Many critics believed, and some parents feared, that homeschoolers would not be able to compete in the job market. But the new study shows homeschoolers are found in a wide variety of professions. Being homeschooled has not closed doors on career choices.

The results are a great encouragement to all homeschooling families and to parents thinking about homeschooling. Homeschoolers, typically identified as being high academic achievers, also can make the grade in society.

Both "Homeschooling Grows Up" and "Fifteen Years Later" amply demonstrate homeschool graduates are active, involved, productive citizens. Homeschool families are leading the way in Canadian and American education, and this new study clearly demonstrates homeschool parents are on the right path.

[laughingwater]

Thanks for sharing this. Achieving adequate socialization is my biggest concern when I consider homeschooling my daughter.  This is an excouraging study.

[Krista G]

I homeschool my 6 children.  Many of the early years were in a secluded area without many or any children around.  Here's the interesting part.  I have the most social and friendly children.  People would ask about their socialization and how we would develop that.  Well, I compare them to all my nieces and nephews that attend regular school.  They should be friendly and so forth since they are socialized, right?  Wrong!  Some of my nieces and nephews wouldn't even speak to us.  On the other side of the family they are limited to one to two word greetings and never engage us in a conversation.  I think that argument in a bunch of nonsense.  I get a bit tired of hearing about that although no one has asked us about it in a long time, thankfully.

 The best social skills, in my opinion, come from living in a family 24 hours a day when you are showing your true colors.  They don't come from going to school and putting on your best face so people like you.  They come from working out your problems with people who know you and aren't going away after a few hours.

[laughingwater]

Homeschooling does seem to provide more opportunities for children to learn how to confidently engage adults in conversation.

I am not concerned about my children not being social if they are home schooled. At 15 months my daughter is already very social and outgowing and I can't imagine that would change.  I do feel that there is a HUGE benefit to learning how to build close friendships.  When I was growing up I spent more time with my class mates and those were therefore the people that I became closest friends with. I know that developing friendships in public schools may not be advisable these days and that schools are not the only place to meet and make friends.  But I have seen children who have been homeschooled who have been very sheltered and ended up not developing any meaningful friendships and then as adults have a very hard time connecting with people - a skill which is necessary in many aspects of life, including developing personal relationships and obtaining and keeping a job.

I think the key is really how the parents set up the homeschool arrangement and what other opportunities they expose their children to (church groups, little league, 4H, boy scouts, music lessons, dance classes, etc.)  As members of this board we are all being proactive in developing a positive environment for our children and educating ourselves in the best ways to do that. Given that, I would expect the mom's on this forum who homeschool to have great results. I give the mom's such as Krista G credit for their children's good socialization.

[Celeste]

Just out of interest...I know we dont have to worry about this for a while but...when it comes time to fill out college applications and the colleges ask for references from teachers...what do homeschooling parents do? Do we write the reference or what?

[Krista G]

I am not sure about that.  I will soon be finding all this information out as my two oldest are in 9th grade this year.  We did meet a wonderful teacher who evaluated my children and their work.  We plan to use her each year to satisfy the state's requirements and I am sure she would write a reference for them.  I read much of The Well Trained MInd and she answers all your questions all the way up to getting into college.  That book is such a wonderful resource beginning with the beginning and taking you to the end.  I plan to look it over again and make sure we are following the correct path for college entrance.  The author also says that she had her children study for an hour a day to prepare for the SAT's and other college entrance exams once they were in highschool.  They did outstanding and I think that her daughter got a scholarship.  I am looking into test books now so my two oldest can begin studying for the SAT.  This way they have more than a year to be familiar with the material and how to take the exam.

[Ana3]

Thank you for the article.  People always ask my daughter are you in school and she'll respond," Yes, we homeschool preschool.'"  Then when I do share the fact we are homeschooling, besides the funny "unintentional " looks we get the first question is what about socialization skills etc.  not only from people but my own family.  I am send this off to my family members. (just joking)

Thanks 

[Tamsyn]

I was homeschooled and I made it into college just fine.  Noone ever asked for references, but we were prepared with church youth leaders, 4-H leaders, and music instructors.  Some had written letters of recommendation for scholarship applications too.  I was admitted on my ACT score alone.
As far as socialization goes, my dad always joked, "Well, we're not socialists, so we're not worried about it."  You have to know your audience before you say a thing like that though.  He didn't share his pet joke with everyone.

[Nikita]

Yes socialization is very important. My daughter recently started at her new school after being bullied by a boy at her old one for many years. Before she went to this new school she connected with the son of an old friend of mine over facebook, trying to already know some people at the new school. This did not go down well with this boys ex-girlfriend, and cyber-bullying by her and her friends started immediately. It's the summer holidays now, but I've found out via a cousin who attends that school via my ex that my daughter is about to be ganged up on and have her head bashed in when school resumes. Gotta love that socialisation. It's just so NECESSARY isnt it!!

[Krista G]

Nikkita,

How do you deal with this?  I read another post you made the other day about your daughter and I have been thinking about it quite a bit.  What a bunch of nonsense.  My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

[Nikita]

Well, what do you do? What can I do? I will ring the school before it starts and fill them in. She thinks she's smoothed things over with this girl and her posse, but just in case I'll ask the school to keep a watch out.
 
So would Love to homeschool. Absolutely detest school.
So hating myspace, facebook, msn etc. Would love them never to have been invented. Has anyone ever sued Mark Zuckerburg the inventor of facebook. And the other inventors of social networking sites? Cos they should..some lawyer should launch a class action. I'd join in a flash. She is so moody because of it. Try to get her off these sites and it's a battle. She's sullen, withdrawn, sleeping a lot and it's time for me to get her professional help.
My town is so full of cyber-bullying that earlier this year in 6 months 4 kids at one nearby school committed suicide. So I didnt send her there. The last suicide had received nasty messages, so went into her wardrobe after reading them and hung herself. (My kids didnt know this girl personally but know friends of hers). It's quite a scandal here...it's made Australia-wide headlines. Another reason I want to leave this state. So much bad stuff goes on, but no-one seems to be able to do anything about it. If i forbid her from these sites, she'll just go to friends places more often and use them there where I cant control what goes on...I cant read what they say to her, or what she says back. (And it's a real battle to remind her constantly not to be nasty back). In fact, there's a guy on facebook trying to expose the people who caused this girl to commit suicide, (an anti cyber-bullying campaigner)but he's gone on such a crusade he's cyber-bullying a lot of people, even putting up photos with insults underneath of people who question him and tell him he's cyber-bullying. My daughter was following his page, then he took offence to her best friend, put up a pic of her calling her insulting things, and when she brought the unfairness of that to his attention, he immediately blocked her, and she is probably on his hitlist too. (They had nothing to do with the girls suicide, they never knew her). Time to ring the Federal Police on this guy I think.

If she does get physically bullied or made to not cope emotionally she may actually come to a point where she realises homeschooling is the best option and not nerdy but sensible. So far, she hasnt had that realisation yet!!!! She doesnt want to be seen as a dork, a geek etc... yet being at school is really hurting her, and affecting me too.

There is a Sunrise Channel 7 petition for an independent regulator to be posted to track these internet social networking sites (to oversee and watch and try to stop the cyber-bullying). This is an Australia wide petition, but hey, if people from other parts of the world sign it too, it could be a great result for the world, making leaders everywhere take notice.
http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/sunrise/35884/face-up-to-bullyingsign-the-petition/
I havent signed it yet as my virus protection wont allow it, but I will be as soon as I can!

[Krista G]

Nikita,

That is so terrible.  I feel for both of you.  It must be hard for your daughter to think of being home all day and having no interaction with her peers, even if it is painful.  All people really want is to be accepted and it must be horrible to be ridiculed, made fun of and beat up.  No wonder these kids are committing suicide.  I had no idea that this was going on on these social networking sites, because I often live in the bubble I have created for myself, but I can totally see that this must be a problem world wide.  We have discussed before that school is much more that just learning, all that socialization is the biggest part of going to school for most kids.  To think of just sitting home and learning all day for a child that has been in school all their life is probably a huge adjustment.  I wish you well with your little ones.  I love home schooling.  For many years I lived far from any schools and I just couldn't imagine sending my kids to school.  It is really so special that our family gets to be together all day every day.  We work from home and the kids school at home.  It has really bonded us so much as a family.  I can't imagine what we would do if one of us left for the majority of the day.

My prayers go out to you and your family.

[DadDude]

"She doesnt want to be seen as a dork, a geek etc..."  Just tell her: "the geek will inherit the Earth."

[happymomof5]

well said, Krista G, karma to you...
Nikita, my prayers are with you... homeschooling is so very wonderful (although a big commitment & a sacrifice, esp. on the mother's part) - I'm in a situation beyond my control & have to have my three oldest going to school, after being homeschooled for the past 12 years!!! & it's a daily trial & a daily prayer that i will be able to bring them back home. Al l the opportunities for scholastic education are described pretty well in the acrticle, but the "socialization" repair work i have to do is way beyond anything I had to do when theywere at home. My kids are no angels, but they've always been helpful, caring, friends with their brothers & sisters, respectful, etc. I'm having to do a lot of damage repair in their character after everything they pick in in school
Nikita, dear, I know one, the most important thing with teens, is to connect with them, listen to them, be there for them. Take time to listen! Let her know you;re there for her, get interested iin the things she's interested in... my computer is dying, i'll have to finish tomoroow when i can get some power... TAKE TIME WITH HER before it's too late!!! i'm praying for you

[mother of faith]

My thoughts go out to you. Here in my area we have similiar problems not as severes, and not only that but some of the teachers here have been found guilty of many 'do not want to know' criminal charges right along with the students. i have also seen the school pass the students and they aren't passing the grades to even graduate. For example, a 10th grader with only 2 credits total, but needs 23 or 24 to graduate???????? something wrong there?

Anyway I think that socialization also depends upon the child's needs. I have seen public school children be as backward and antisocial as can be, also I have seen homeschooled children anti-social as well but belongs and participates in school functions and activities. I believe it depends upon the child. Not every child is going to be social on the same level as another child. I have seen homeschooled children very dominant and well spoken, with great communication skills. It comes to my mind that homeschooled children don't get made fun of or teased maybe as much as public schooled children, so their self confidence maybe might be more? then again it can work just the opposite.

As far as the question about referneces, well if your child belongs or participates in sports, church, boy scouts, 4H, or other groups, that is where your reference can come from, also we have here what is called job opportunities were the child volunteers to work or observe someone at their job, place of business, or community service work as well. this is when you get in the 9th grade we here start the job opportunity, community service hours to get the references we may need. Our students aren't asked for any reference for college (for a job application yes) for we are a small town.

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