Formal Indroduction

[carpe vestri vita]

I'm not new to the forums, I've been here for a few months. I used to be "Guest." Now that I have a real name, I thought I should actually introduce myself.

Hi! I'm Kay. I live near Calgary, AB Canada with my awesome husband and our new son Zed. I can't believe Zed is already more than 2 months old. It seems like he was born just yesterday.

We have been trying to do the whole How Smart is Your Baby program, but have been failing miserably. Despite my inconsistencies, Zed can roll over, hold his head up for 10+ minutes, sit unaided for 5 minutes and is already saying a few semi-words. But, he can't crawl anymore!

When Zed was born his first act of life (after the scream, but before the cord was cut) was to climb my torso and head-butt me. But Zed has GERD. Once he started eating he refused to lay on a full stomach, or an empty stomach, or on his back. Even with his medications he will only sleep on his left side propped up on a 45 degree angle, or in a sling/wrap/baby carrier. When he's not screaming in pain, he's a wonderfully curious, happy baby.

The problem of course is getting him on his tummy for any significant length of time. When he was a couple weeks old he could crawl about 5 feet on a flat surface, now it's about 5 inches. He's so big now (almost 14 pounds) and I just hadn't been giving him enough time on his tummy for him to gain the strength to move that much weight around. We're working on it more now. We've regressed to the inclined track to get him to go farther, but it seems to be working.

I think this forum is great, and I miss being able to waste time here like before Zed was born. I'll try to keep everyone updated on our progress more often.

[nhockaday]

Congrats on Zed's birth!

[carpe vestri vita]

I have been MIA for a few months. Things have been very busy. We have expanded our family permanently by two, and temporarily with a third. Zed is now the youngest of 4.

I have Amy who is 3 years 4 months old. Kai who is 31 months, Andy who is 25 months, and Zed who is 21 months. Amy is significantly delayed and Andy is slightly delayed. Kai is developmentally on track, but emotionally traumatized. His family was in a car accident, he survived practically without injury, his mother is still in the hospital recovering, and the rest of his family were killed. They didn't have any extended family, so he was put into foster care.

I have had to set my house up a lot like a preschool/daycare because of having 4 toddlers at once, and all their appointments for occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, counselling and doctor's visits.

We've also had to venture into different techniques than what we used with Zed. We have reduced the language load from 7 to 3 because the other kids could not keep up. I had to buy baby toys because Zed was never interested, but Andy needed them for his development.

It's been a steep learning curve. Now that we've finally figured out schedules, sleeping arrangements, which kids need to dress themselves, which kids are afraid of the dark/buses/clowns/dogs/dvd player, etc. I finally have time to chime in online again.

[TeachingMyToddlers]

Sounds like you have a full house! I missed reading this post earlier, and I am so interested to hear how things are going with your kiddos. God bless you for opening your home and heart to more kids and more love! How awesome.

[carpe vestri vita]

Things are going. I'm very busy all the time. I get online maybe once a week and spend most of the time on replying to email.

Amy is advancing at a tremendous rate, she's 4 now, and is on par with most 3 year olds. I was told to not expect much with her, but I have never trusted people who minimize the abilities of anyone.

Andy is almost 3, and is on equal footing with Amy, which makes it easy to teach them both at once.

Kai went home just before Christmas and we were happy and sad to see him go. Unfortunately his mother cannot keep up with him now with her disabilities. He's been back in our care since March. We visit his mother twice a week, and he spends most of the visit sitting on her lap crying. It's been hard on all of us. There have been discussions of her giving up parental rights, so that we can adopt him.

While Kai was home, we took in a brother-sister pair that are 8 and 6. It will be a long term, but temporary, placement. We are not planning on taking in anymore kids. (But that's what we said before too.)

Last, but not least, Zed is doing great. He's learning everything I can put in front of him. I don't have time to put as much in front of him as I could before. It's bittersweet: he has all the love of having brothers and sisters, but he doesn't have the attention he used to have from me because of their needs.

DH and I have been trying to have more kids since Zed was born. It has not been going well. We've stopped trying for a while. I think our fertility issues are a way of the universe telling us that there are other kids that need us more.

I always wanted a big family, and the plan was always some born and some adopted, maybe 3 and 3. But 1 and 5 is good too. 

[lois1]

Glad to hear things are going relatively well but that's a shame about little Kai, he has suffered so much in such a short time. His mother must be broken hearted too, an emotional struggle on all sides.

Isn't the busyness just wonderful though?! 

[carpe vestri vita]

It is awesome being so crazy busy. We went to the Calgary Stampede today while DH was at work. All 6 kids.  Who knows what I was thinking. But it tuckered them all out and everyone is sound asleep and the sun hasn't even set yet

Things have been tough on all the kids. We became foster parents because life is so hard for those kids.

Amy and Andy are adopted from foster care. They have the same birth mother, who is an addict. She was arguably the worst parent one could be without assaulting a child. And even then technically she has crossed that line.

The 6 and 8 yo olds are in foster care because their father is in jail and their mother abandoned them. When he is released, they will go to live with him because, while he's a criminal, he has not been deemed an unfit parent. I haven't met him, but the kids do send letters to him and he seems to really love them. I can't imagine what it would be like if my mother abandoned me, and to not have their father available at the time, that breaks my heart.

Kai was very loved in his family. And his mother still loves him. She loves him so much that she's willing to give him up so he can have a 'normal' childhood.

I can't decide what's worse. I try not to think about it, it's incredibly depressing. I try to use all that emotion to love them better.

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