Overwhelmed Mama of two under two

[SixtineCharlotte]

Hi,

It is not my first time on this forum however I feel the need to introduce myself and start fresh again.
I have two daughters aged 20 months and 3 months - raised bilingually in English and French.
We do Montessori at home, and bits and pieces of Doman with the new baby (did it with the oldest as well) but I feel
my oldest daughter needs more. She is a very smart little girl but I would like to expand her vocabulary which is quite lacking.
She loves the computer (we started with Sparkabilities when she was little) and I feel this way of learning might be more of interest...
as she can't sit still with a book but would spend hours on the computer if I let her. Go figure!

I find it very overwhelming reading all your posts, and it makes me almost depressed thinking I am not giving her enough of my time/energy to develop her potential. I know I shouldn't compare myself or my children for that matter...but it is hard not too. How do you find the time? Any organizational tips? I am willing to make my own material (and I have been doing so) as I need to save money.

Finally, where to start? I would like to start with an emphasis of learning vocabulary, alphabet, colors and numbers. Does it sound like a good idea?
Where can I find a toddler curriculum? I have a Montessori one but would love to read more.

Thank you in advance.

[Tamsyn]

It sounds like starfall.com would be a perfect fit for you.  There is a free version and a $35 a year version that we couldn't be more happy with.  My kids have learned so-o-o much from starfall.  My 2-year-old knows most of his nursery rhymes because of this site, and they have picked up a lot of math facts as well.  My 6-year-old still occasionally plays it.  The best part is it's user friendly and they can play it on their own if they can operate a mouse.  The hardest part for my kids was learning to only use the left button, but if that's an issue, there are kid's mice that only have the left button.  We just haven't bought one yet.

I've had two under two three different times so I know what it's like.  Good for you, Mommy, and welcome to our forum, again. 

[Mela Bala]

Hi SixtineCharlotte,

Welcome to the forum and we are so glad you introduced yourself.  It sounds like you are doing an amazing job already.  I only have one child but I do recall some families involved with early learning have their youngest child present at the time they are teaching their oldest.  I have been told that the youngest benefits greatly from this while the oldest continues to move forward.  I am wondering if you include your oldest as you are beginning Doman with your youngest child.  I did a lot of review early learning with my son and have found this to be very beneficial to him mastering concepts and facts.

I think your plan to start with vocab, colors, numbers and the alphabet is great.  But I would also recommend you to let them learn the alphabet from their toys and music while you concentrate on teaching them phonics.  Im sure you have seen the clip in sparkabilities where the lips are saying the alphabet sounds vs the letter names.  There are also hundreds of phonic videos on youtube.  I used to sing a phonic rhyme for about a week before moving on to another one.   You can make your own flashcards of the alphabet and flash them while saying the letter sound.  The same for the digraph and blend sounds.  It would be best not to include pictures so that your children do not associate the gr sound to only belong to the color green.
http://www.phonicsontheweb.com/digraphs.php
http://www.phonicsontheweb.com/blends.php

Each week I introduce a new vocab word to my son and plan activities or make up/find stories pertaining to it.  I usually write it on the chalkboard and whiteboard as many times as he erases it.  

Remember your children are young so you do not have to feel rushed and overwhelmed about all the info that you want them to learn.  I know this is hard and only recently have I started to understand this myself.

I think you will get better advice and insight from the other moms who have more than one child but I just wanted to say something as I can relate to feeling overwhelmed.

[SixtineCharlotte]

Hi Tamsyn,
Thank you for your help. I just had a look at starfall and it looks like something she would be interested in.
However, I don't see the 35$ program anywhere. The site is a little disorganized but I am excited to try it with my daughter.
I would love to have a clearer idea of what she is supposed to know/master to organize our lessons/learning time sessions (formal and unformal).

Hi Mela Bala,
Thank you for your help as well. I think the hardest is to find something you are happy with (a program) and stick to it - there is so much to choose from.
I can't afford any of the Little Brillkids at the moment but was wondering if there was anything else that you would recommend that wouldn't be as expensive until we can get them. How about Tweedlewink?
I have been trying to introduce matching cards and she doesn't seem interested - I wonder if it is just not the sensitive period or if it is not the right time of day...?

Thank you both for helping me!

[Tamsyn]

The membership content is on more.starfall.com.  When I click on it I just go to the content because my computer is authorized, so I'm not sure exactly how to purchase it.  Also, with a membership you can customize and print out worksheets with pictures that match the software.  I have never used starfall to meet any specific goals, I just let the kids have free time.  They have gone through everything on their own, so it worked out for me.  It's great for EL toddlers!

I think TweedleWink is more expensive than the BK products, you can just buy the DVDs a la carte and hence buy it in smaller chunks.  But TweedleWink is an awesome company and we love their videos.  We love BK too.  Don't ask me to choose a favorite.  BK does have occasional sales where it is 10% off, like on back to school sales or Christmas, etc, and many of us can give you an additional 10% off with our affiliate codes, so those two things combined make it a little more affordable, and it would give you a chance to save up for it.

I also highly recommend MonkiSee.  My baby LOVES the flashcards, and the DVDs have poetry and original music.  I love their videos.  Their reading package is a great value, especially for off-screen supplementing since their flashcards are such high quality.

[Humbler9]

Hi!  I'm not a mom, but I AM a dad!

I'm sure that most early learning parents have felt your same feelings. First thing--  Relax!
Next--  Just know that you are doing more than you can imagine to help your children develop.  Sometimes I feel that my energy level to teach my children (I have 3  { 29 month old twins & a 12 month old} is like a High tide- Low tide affect.  When you are feeling overwhelmed, it might be helpful for you to back off and concentrate on what you feel you can do without getting overwhelmed.  Perhaps a husband or other family member may be able to provide a little more one-on-one time with your youngest child?

Concerning improving vocabulary--  I think flashing flashcards are an excellent way to improve vocabulary.  Equally important is telling your children what an item is as you are doing something...  i.e. (measuring cup when cooking, birds, frogs, leaves, bushes, flowers, trash, sidewalk, slide, etc... when taking them to the park, talk about the weather, clouds, the rain, sun, the wind, etc...) Doing that in English and French may have a sinergistic affect.  The YBCR and YBCD series are good for early learning (IMHO). Lots of flashcards.  Do you have time to borrow books from the library?  I know you said books aren't an option but.. if you start with just one book and do your best to make it as exciting and interesting as possible, you might be able to build on this idea.  Soon, your child(ren) may have the ability to sit still and read with you.  That is a great opportunity to relax with the little ones and just read- read- read.  Of course you may get tired of the books, but they most likely won't.

Don't be depressed.  Just do what you can and...  LOVE your children with all your heart!  You are already giving your children more than many other parents.

Where to start:
Vocabulary-- Flashcards and talking to your children throughout the day about EVERYTHING! OH----  This is my favorite activity:  I take them to the grocery store and we talk about the fruits and vegetables, the milk, butter, bread, chips, eggs, etc...  You can also slip in some facts about the item at that time too.

Alphabet- Just singing the alphabet at random is great!  Sometimes when my twins seems not so interested, I pretend that I'm saying the alphabet for my 12 month old.  They still hear it! <wink>

Colors- YBCD has an excellent section on colors!  Try to find one near where you live on Craigslist, Ebay, or local thrift stores.

Numbers-  You can always cound things as you are giving them their food.  i.e. cherios, crunchies, crackers, etc...  Glen Doman has info on making DOT cards for your child(ren) to learn from.

Montessori schooling is a wonderful thing!  Just remember to keep things fun at their current age!

I hope this is somewhat helpful.  I know I'm not a mother, but I'm still a parent.  (For those people in the forum that tend to beleive that men/dads aren't into early learning)

Good luck--  You are doing great.  Don't give up.

John

[Tamsyn]

I think I can speak for all the moms when I say that we love the fathers on this forum!  My husband isn't active here, but I couldn't do what I do without his support.  Fathers are very much needed for our children, and men have a unique perspective that certainly adds to the discussions.  Thank you for adding your input!

[NPLight]

I think we all feel we are not doing enough sometimes... some of us almost every day! You read and read here in the forum and everybody is doing soooo much, while you just manage to show them a few words and, if you're lucky, a little bit of music!
I also have two under two (twins). Lately I have asked for daddy's help, because I have very limited time during the week. We choose a subject and he is in charge of getting all the images, so I can do new Little Reader presentations very quickly!
About the books, when my twins where around 12 months, it was impossible to make them sit and listen. They would jump, and play, and shout and run around the room. But I kept on reading. Every night I took two or three books and just read. After some days-weeks they began to approach, now they come, put their heads on my shoulders and listen... and for me it is the best moment of the day. Just try, she will be interested sooner or later.
Anyway, I'm sure you are doing a very good job!

[Jenene]

Like others have said I think very few of us feel like we are doing enough for our children.  It is hard to have 2 so young.  At one point (for 3 weeks!) I had 3 under 3 (although my eldest was technically older she has special needs and developmentally was maybe an early 2 year old).    I think one problem we all have is that we read all these posts and everyone sort of blurs into one supermum/dad who we think is doing it all when in reality most of us have one or two areas that we are doing well in and a lot of areas that we wish we were doing well in  - or maybe that is just me anyway 

I haven't spent much money on early learning as money was tight (and I was tighter    ) and it is one of my regrets.  I wish that I had bought some good quality DVDs and flashcards when they were younger.  I always planned to make things but with little ones you simply don't have time.  Maybe ask relatives for things for birthdays/christmas.  Look on local homeschooling sale forums.  Even ask on places like freecycle if you have one in your area.  Or as someone else suggested ask Daddy (or other friend/relative) to do some work toward making some flashcards/learning activities.

One inexpensive thing that you can do is play classical music as much as possible.  CDs are cheap or use youtube or similar for free.  Put a dedicated music player of some description in their room and have classical music playing whenever they are sleeping at least.

Also, there are LOTS of classic stories available on youtube.  Also many web sites to download audio stories.  Press and Play is a new blog that has just had a thread on here and she (sorry can't remember her the lady's name)  is making playlists that you can use on various topics (hoping she is going to put more together!). 

Your local library will have some educational DVDs.  And don't forget just the regular DVDs.  My son has loved watching some of the animal ones, country ones etc.... 

Something that I have never done though planned to is search some of the university sites and play their free lectures for the children while they play. 

[cokers4life]

I also at one point had 3 under 3 too.  When I first started, I had a three year old, two year old and a 5 month old, and I had the same roller coaster of feelings.   I learned to put it into perspective by celebrating all that I have done and all that I am to my children.   Your love for your children says a lot and you are already in the best spot in the world with a mind set to give your children something more.  Take a moment and see all the beautiful things you are already doing and then get excited for the journey ahead.   We all suffer from "mommy guilt" and we have to just put it all in perspective.   Mommy/parent guilt doesn't do us any good, and serves as small thorn in our foot stopping us from moving forward.   Pull it out and start getting EXCITED!  Early learning in any form is a fun, exciting journey.

One of things I learned from all the wonderful people on this forum is take baby steps.  Just add one thing a day to your normal routine, and as it becomes apart of your life, than add another one.  Incorporating an EL activity with a specific part of your routine will always improve the success of making it a habit.  For example, showing phonics related videos on YouTube at lunch everyday or always counting toys during bath time.   It easy easy to get overwhelmed by what everyone is doing, but most of our journeys have been just like yours. We all started somewhere in the beginning feeling very overwhelmed and wishing we had done this or that.   

As far as free resources, YOUTUBE is full of them.   All my children learned their colors, shapes, planets and counting from watching short video songs on YouTube at breakfast, sometimes lunch and just for the fun of it.   Everyday more and more awesome kids learning videos show up on YouTube everyday.   If you need some playlists to get you started, I am organizing playlists on my channel.  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqZJoUUqFfdmGmpy1ucwrWQ.  Or you can go to http://pushplaylearning.com and subscribe for updates.   I have a map out of playlists for the next month.      I might have a slight addiction to YouTube.   

Also I don't think there is a magic curriculum you should follow.   One thing that resonated with me when I read Glenn Doman's books is the importance of trusting your "mommy" instincts (its been a long time since I read it but somehow that's what I got out of the book).   Just trust yourself, and if you feel like you should teach this or that, then teach it.   No one has the right way and no one's way is better.   Each way creates a unique and beautiful child.  So celebrate your journey and get excited!

(Jenene, it's so good to hear those playlists are helpful for you.  I will keep them coming.)

[A_BC]

Starfall is an excellent suggestion!

You can check if the Preschool Prep DVDs are available at your local library, the iPad/ iPhone apps are excellent to teach colors, numbers, shapes, letters, sight words and phonics. Getting just the apps would be much cheaper than the DVDs and even more efficient IMHO, as they are interactive games and not just videos.

Signing Time & Baby Signing Time are also widely available in libraries.

KidsTV123 Channel on YouTube is full of educational and toddler friendly videos.

Last but not least, try readingbear.org once your toddler masters the letters sounds (using the free Starfall). It's a free website with a very high quality content and efficient teaching methods especially for sounding out words.
You may also use it with your baby if you just select the flashcards mode. What's more, it was created by a BK member, DadDude! So it definitely falls within the EL standards.

We used all of the above in addition to LR and reading books. It worked so well for us and I didn't need much of homemade material. So that saved me time as well.

[Tamsyn]

Preschool Prep comes and goes on groupon, I think I've seen it 3 times?  At least two.  It's not a current deal, but it might be worth it to hold out for it.  We really love "Meet the Sight Words".  Once the kids know sight words, they can read anything with your help, and they'll be excited to see their "friends".  We started letting Patrick read scriptures with us.  He would read the sight words he knew, and we would tell him all of the words he didn't.  With time, common words become sight words as well, so this is a good way to get them reading.  There are VERY few sentences that don't have at least one or two of the sight words in them.  Patrick watched "Meet the Sight Words" twice and he knew them all.  The movies are extremely repetitive and somewhat slow for an adult, but for a child who doesn't know the material, they're absolutely wonderful.  My father-in-law bought the same set for his private school kindergarten class, and he was surprised at how much the children loved them.  They often talked about the different words with each other during lunch break.

[AiAi]

Thanks to all for these great suggestions!

I'm sure all mothers share your feelings often; I tend to spend too much time worrying about getting the "best" thing and am trying to get to a point where I "just do it" without so much procrastination

One thing I took away from the Doman books is to do everything with your child in an enthusiastic, joyful manner, even if it's ever so much less than you feel you should be doing.

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