Go with your gut feeling. When I read your post, I sense that you feel quite certain that he knows red, and might pick up green just because of his mood. If you were not certain, you'd speak of him picking up any random colours - say yellow and green. So, you may not be aware of it, but you are "reading" him instinctively. Even testing can't be as accurate as that.

My son is less than three months. Forget signing, he can't even point yet. How do I know that he's hungry when he opens and closes his hands in the sign for milk? Mostly, its gut. Then I can find data to support it. He rarely does that movement other times. He watches me intently when I do it. He calms down if I do it back to him when he is doing it (since I always do it just before and while feeding). I could say its random and not trust my instinct. It gets me nowhere. If I trust what I sense, it empowers both of us. And if I'm wrong...... then what? Hey, he's a kid, we'll learn it if it turns out we were wrong. Its not a doctorate.

Hi KL,

Your kind words mean much to me. I will definitely ask for your support if and when I need it. At the moment, I guess the powerpoint downloads will work very well.

I'd have loved to afford your software, but money is a huge issue right now, so asking for a discount (which is already offered) isn't going to help much.

What would be the most precious at this time, would be any suggestions you have for such sessions to be very good, or other ways of going about things. You guys are doing a fabulous job of bringing focus squarely on learning and motivating people to invest themselves so much into it, that they will even spend the money it takes for excellent software. This kind of experience is very valuable to someone in my position, though what we deliver is very different.

Second most precious would be permissions to print and share some of the writings you have on the subject of early learning and perhaps permissions to distribute trial versions of your software on CD (many parents are not very net savvy) - its a very large amount in India, so I don't know how many would buy, but it is important to share the kind of resources and effort that goes into this subject so that parents are encouraged to go that extra mile.

If the sessions take off well, and I can afford better, I will definitely ask for a discount, so that I can use it not just with my son (which is really why I want it), but also for demos. At the moment, with this, I'm planning a change of career back to back with a 5 month break and no income. But my heart is just not in corporate training work anymore. Motherhood is where my energy is.

Hi Lappy,

Can you (or anyone else) tell me if there is a way to play a certain audio for a certain picture within the word? I'm trying to create a bilingual file, so for example, one word will sound "mother", an image will sound "aai" (unless there is a way to have marathi characters in the word file?) while the videos/photos can sound either. Obviously it will not work if its spelling mother and reading aai for example....

All help appreciated.

Vidyut

ROFL..... and all this time I was wondering how it is possible that it will not show numbers higher than 96, and if it were the work of some malware, and what nots....

I'm not very clear about it at the moment - but:

1. Weekly or fortnightly group sessions of 2-3 hours duration (perhaps more)
2. One-on-one coaching/discussion sessions
3. Family specific day long sessions to focus on overall environment and a "buy in" commitment to the learning plans for the baby - all the people in one household (India tends to have larger families)
4. Special sessions for parents with special needs.

Perhaps eventually I'll have a downloadable resource set too - articles and stuff - though this really is learning through experiencing, so it will be good words, but can't replace the sessions.

Maybe other things when I think about them.

Hi,

Nisargak is almost 3 months, and I've been searching for resources related with parenting, early development, home schooling and so on, and there is precious little to be found in India and Mumbai in particular, other than ISP. ISP is great, but it has a set number of sessions and a set list of things to address, while parenting is as diverse a subject as there are people.

I am a behavioural scientist myself. Into development, been a "genius kid" and communicating excellently with Nisargak, who seems to be doing well too.

I am thinking of starting a series of parenting sessions. Methodology will mostly be co-created group learning, though I will be bringing in my considerable experience with human behavioural processes. Areas to address will be diverse, but related mostly with learning and development, parenting behaviour, psychology and its impact and perhaps  homeschooling (which also has nothing much in India). Also, I don't want them to be expensive, but I'd like not to starve into extinction and make them unsustainable. Would about Rs.1,000/- per session for group sessions work initially?

I'm thinking mostly of local groups of 3-10 people (4 minimum if one of them is a couple) as a regular session, and perhaps larger group sessions on occasion. Also one-on-one "coaching" sessions for specific concerns, or parents who prefer individual learning to group learning.

My reasons for doing this is mainly that there is precious little to help parents understand ourselves and our impacts on children at an age when they have a few defenses. Melodramatic, but true "If you call me evil, I will believe you!"

However, my target audience is clear. Its the adults, not kids.

What do you guys think? Particularly:

• Do you think our society is ready for this?
• What kind of areas to be addressed would be the most interesting and useful?
• Would open sessions work, or would sessions with set subjects be more useful? <-- I find that the open sessions deliver the most value, but suspect that it might seem more reassuring to have set subjects in terms of getting value for money.

True, and I guess, if it is truly fun, and not an "agenda", it would be like any other play.....

My concern is more with the ambitious side of things... where the outcome is important and there is subtle but constant pressure to learn.... or worse, being constantly stimulated being the only way the child knows to be.... and more importantly, a child getting some time (that is needed) to be bored - with utterly no direction/prescription from the outside world - to enhance creativity and constructive initiative or simply absorb all the inputs and see what is being created within him.

Isn't this rather "chicken or egg"? I mean what if talking early, or the stimulation that leads to it causes those waves?

I see communication as a function of nurture, rather than nature.....

That said, how do I increase them? Or whatever the "better" is?

Patreiche,

I agree that it is important to spend quality time with a child. In fact, I think its important to spend all kinds of time with a child. Not just quality. It also depends on what we call quality.

If an active focus of the child's upbringing is values of freedom and respect, there needs to be adequate time for the two of you to be together where he gets to call the shots. If it is a priority, then a majority of the time needs to be like that. Perhaps, I'm assuming this priority, and its fair enough to have a greater priority for setting the stage for success in life. For me, it is difficult to predict what skills he is going to need, and my focus for creating an attitude for a "successful life" is lemons from lemonade. Those lemons may be languages, or dance, or painting..... he gets to choose them based on what he feels attracted to.

This is quite different from doing math with him. The key being "doing it with him". For me, this falls under spending all kinds of time with him. I can't do French and dance with him with that same intensity, so it goes in the other - he gets to initiate if he feels curious. If we miss windows, so be it.

I guess I prioritize skill acquiring based on how definitely or maybe it will be used in his life. I may teach my child French, and he may never want to use it. However, he is likely to want freedom and respect all his life. So setting the foundation for that, at the cost of many other things is important for me. I certainly didn't imply that not teaching them anything was the way to go about doing things. After all, we're guiding them into the world. I just meant keeping it to necessity, and spending the rest on priority one - emotional security, emotional intelligence.

I agree completely that children are like sponges. What I'm saying is that do I use it to mop every colourful spill I find till its too soggy to attract that drink it would like, or do I soak it with the bare minimum liquid that needs to be soaked, and then leave it to the sponge to choose, or for the liquids to be attracted to it.

Hi Nikita,

What coincidence! I'm planning to homeschool too! AND my focus is similar - communication! Though I guess its easier for me, since him saying no is communication too..... win-win Though I don't agree about them being too young to know. In my experience, I never was too young to know what was good for me. It was the grown ups that kept meddling That's why, in fact we will be homeschooling. For both of us to escape the prescriptions and experience what works for us and what doesn't. Though I can understand your eagerness to introduce different languages to him.

These guys learn damn fast though, I don't know how you are going to leanr "with" them.... My friend's son mixes them all up perfectly. I speak very little German, so she wanted me to talk with him in German. I said something. He didn't understand. Quite likely that I said it wrong too. WHat floored me was that he came back with "Repeaten Sie Bitte!" He conjugated "repeat" German style and just went on! 

His mother immediately corrected him, but I was honestly impressed. That's plain ingenious. A pity that his mother walled his creativity... but then I guess knowing the right word was important too. You're going to need to study hard to keep up with them!

Lee, I so connect with wanting so much for them! Everything.... and more... bring it on. I wish childhood was longer, or that the day had 48 hours when the going is good, or I'm ready for him to grow up already

What I'm curious about is where do you as a parent draw the line? How much is too much?

How do we manage our desires and dreams with respect for the individuality of our child?

Hi,

I've been mostly reading around here (tough to type with baby in lap). This is an excerpt from an article I wrote on my blog. I think it may be of interest here. If you would like to read the whole thing, its not immediately relevant to this question, but you can find it here: http://www.nisargak.com/proud-mama/how-much-teaching-is-too-much/
===================================
I've noticed that there is a lot of attention paid to teaching babies second and third languages, etc. It makes sense if you speak those. For example, English, Marathi, Hindi and Kannada are spoken in our home, so baby will eventually end up understanding and communicating in them all. Or I can understand a family not speaking English at home making efforts to speak it around their child and supplementing it with lessons or other exposure. But why would I make such huge efforts to teach a language I don't even know myself? What's the point? How is it functional for communication?

The way I imagine things panning out is that as long as I can sustain exposure to the sources of the alien language, the baby will acclimatize to it. Once he is older and the exposure stops or fades when other more relevant and immediate learning and time needs come in, the "use it or lose it" will happen anyway. I don't think that teaching for the first couple of years a language the child doesn't get anything done from using (considering how daily contact is not in it, making it dysfunctional for communication most of the time) is going to keep the language alive in his mind for life. So then why?

Also, I'm looking at the impact of our overambition on our children. Whether we make it play or not, it is a constant bombardment of stimulation. If I have to expose my child to language, maths, sign language, creative activities, physical play, ..... when is the time to stand and stare?

I'm a very laid back person and do a huge amount of stuff naturally with my child. But I get the jitters thinking of exposing a child to a "learning environment", labeling it fun and making him accept all these alien things. And I hate the word exposing - you expose objects. People should have the respect of being offered a choice - you introduce, suggest.... Give respect, get respect. Youd child is learning more from how you are with him than he is from what you do with him.

But then, my idea of parenting is very attachment not only in the advertised manner, but emotionally too. I am perfectly okay with the baby clinging to me all the time, not being friendly with new people he meets, developing in his initial years with constants shared with his most trusted people. I find it a strange world where we make our kids independent when they are dependent; outgoing when instinct directs clinging and then when they are exerting their independence as they grow up (teens onwards), we wish they would be closer to us. Plain unnatural. Ever heard of a baby needing to be taught to want closeness and safety of its mother/other close people? It is the "teaching to be social" and forced entry to the unfamiliar that breaks those bonds before they are ready to stretch. Once the child is vulnerable in a new situation and grows up fast to cope, what do they need the emotional side of their parent for?

You objectify the child, and the child slowly starts seeing you as a facility rather than person.

I'm aware a lot of my personal value judgments influence how I see this issue, but I find it remarkably like training a circus lion to jump through a flaming loop. Sure, a good trainer will make it fun, but a child needs to absorb the familarity of the "trusted" and the okayness of shying away from the "other" to be emotionally anchored in his own self-worth.
=========================
I don't know if it makes sense out of context (or even in context for that matter)

Hi, this second link is broken http://www.brillbaby.com/early-learning/watching-television.php

Was very interested in reading. Someone know where its moved and can share new link?

Good question. One I wonder about. Purely academically of course, as Nisarg enjoys watching the TV and will crane his neck around no matter how we put him... I don't watch TV at all, but the rest of the family does, and its a little unrealistic to expect them all to stop (and they wouldn't either). So I guess if its there, he watches, and it is how it is.

Also, I do like showing him kids stuff on the computer. No clue whether it helps or harms his eyes, but I'm not too bothered about keeping him away from absolutely everything "bad for him", because then I'd spend more time second guessing, than living. I used to watch TV as a kid, and I've got perfect eye sight. TV technology has also improved since then, I assume. So he's not going to go blind from it.

However, I find myself thinking about it, particularly when people exclaim about him watching TV and how its sure to destroy his eye sight.

Oh yes. I've been signing to him for quite some time. Most often as he is staring at me while drinking. Though I don't think he understands it as a sign yet or is trying to tell me. I think he does it more because he associates it with getting his tummy full so it happens when he feels hungry (and not always).

I've started responding to him making the sign. I make it back to him and promptly take him to feed. Hopefully this will help him understand that he can also do it on purpose.

Oh I'm so thrilled! Happy, happy, happy!!!! (I just need a happy smiley in a warm colour - yellow or orange..... A blue smiley guy just isn't expressing this...)     

This baby thing is far easier than I'd imagined through scaring myself from all the reading. Instinct rules!!!

I was finally able to get it on video. Its just as he stopped when I brought my phone close, but still, he did it, and I got it captured!!! I don't know how to post videos here, so.....

http://www.nisargak.com/proud-mama/two-month-old-using-sign-language/