I'm teaching my daughter Turkish though it's not my mother tongue.

We visit Turkish restaurants and the staff are originally from Turkey and I order in Turkish as well as speak in Turkish when I come across Turkish speakers. I have a few Turkish friends from Turkey that I meet at my language class who have children my daughter's age and she hears me speak to them and I hope to make frequent enough visits to Turkey every year to hopefully give her reasons to want to learn the language. We watch Turkish TV and listen to Turkish music daily. I speak to her in English and Turkish. I read to her in Turkish and cook Turkish food from time to time. 

You could always visit a mother's group and speak to the mothers there about creating a group in that target language for parents interested in teaching their child/ren that particular language.

My daughter can speak English and Turkish but it's a hard language for her compared to English so she is better in English.

There's not many people who are interested in learning Turkish unless they are dating/married to a Turk or have Turkish heritage or are like me and just loves the language! but I don't expect her to become fluent in Turkish especially living in a Country like France where they only take pride in learning their own language So far she is interested and is doing well but that might change when she realises none of her class mates speak it.

I agree with cokers4life. This is your child and you have to be firm. If you don't believe in something, don't give in to it, even if you dread confrontation. You let someone get away with telling you what to do once except it to happen again and again. If you show you are determined and set on your path, she might begin to realise her input has little impact on your life decisions.

You say your mother lives abroad, how often do you see her? That is an important factor when deciding how you should deal with it. All my family lives abroad, very far away, I only tell them the things I want them to know, If they give unwarranted advice or opinions, I simply thank them and divert the conversation to a completely different unrelated topic and it always works on the telephone and when I see them (rarely).

No matter where you go in life, people are going to give you their opinion, whether you want to hear it or not. It's harder to deal with it when it's coming from your own family but remember that everybody is different. No matter how pushy and controlling a person can be, at the end of the day, they have absolutely no say in your life or child's life.

My mother tends to go OTT and I have learnt to just agree with her, if I disagree, she tends to go on and on and on and on and on on on on on and omg on and on - basically she's very difficult! It's easier since she is living abroad, I talk to my mother regularly on the phone but I divert the conversation quickly if I sense she is going to ask me one more time about how I should go get a job.

I have the same problem with my in-laws and complete strangers too and the advice my MIL gives on parenting my child, I'm surprised her 3 children are still alive to even tell their story!!! I just tell them honestly that what is right for their family, might not be right for mine and this is my daughter and this is how I am going to raise her and I say it loud and clear. Since then, my life has gotten so much easier since no one puts their two cents in anymore as it goes straight through one ear and out the other.

I understand that everybody has their own opinion and has every right to express their opinion but the only way one will understand is by being completely honest with them and tell them truthfully how you feel. Maybe it might seem small talk to them, it might really upset another. If you don't want to be honest with your mother to avoid confrontation then what is one week out of how many times a year you see her going to really wreak havoc in your household?

I don't like my S-I-L, she has no kids, criticises me and my DHs parenting and is very controlling towards her brother and what he should do with our child and how he shouldn't financially support me because SAHM are lazy and I should get a real job if I want/need something but I have made it very clear that she might have HAD her brother wrapped around her controlling finger, he now has very little to do with her, she won't with me or my child and she has really backed down. She gave up because she knows she can't control the situation.

I love my mother to bits no matter how bothersome she can be but if she behaved like that in my house, I would tell her honestly that is my house, my rules, if you don't like how I raise my child or do things in my home then don't come and visit. The only way is to be honest.

I forgot to also mention, when my daughter is blurting out Dinosaurs stomping their feet, I think she associates that with people tapping their feet to music or she is repeating what she sees in an episode of playschool as the Dinosaurs are stomping their feet. I think most of it all is out of excitement and showing off as she knows calling me Tina is going to get my attention. Brachiating should happen for a couple of seconds immediately the rest comes with practice. Perhaps he is just a late talker?

My daughter sounds exactly like your son. Her speech is actually very advanced for her age and she speaks very clear and correct. She does scream out mummy and comes running to me out of excitement when I pick her up from daycare. She does all the things your son is doing, she is going through that stage of repeating everything she hears immediately after hearing it but is more than capable of spontaneous speech.

She knows who everybody is, at daycare, her relatives, her parents etc and if you ask her to name them all she will correctly tell you but on odd occasions she will blurt out Tina instead of mummy even though I'm not Tina or call me daddy or whatever, rarely, but it's just so random at times. Like we could be talking about fruit then she starts talking about Dinosaur's stomping their feet. She is full of energy and never stops talking.

She does ask questions like who's this?, what's that noise?, what colour is this? and things like mummy/daddy what are you doing? mummy are you ok, why are you sad?. She only just started learning that because I was making sure to always ask questions and leave a pause for her to answer. She is quite capable of spontaneous speech like I said and will incorrectly name someone even though everybody has heard her say it correctly many times in the past.

I did have the same concerns as you but her Pediatrician just laughed when I asked if she could be autistic as he said she is incredibly smart and her speech is advanced and is advanced in all areas but gross motor skills she is a bit behind there. Her daycare think she has a problem but my daughter doesn't speak the same language to them like she should be and speaks sooooo fast that only as the parents, can she be understood but they refuse to listen, to them she is blurting out random baby noises, to me she is blurting out full and correct English conversations.

She is doing so well now. She does answer questions, didn't before but I talk, talk, talk and keep on talking and asking and that has really helped. Same goes for brachiating, practice and practice! I have a gym bar attached to her door, for pull ups, then we go to the park for the monkey bars and holds for a few seconds. I would get him evaluated to give you reassurance. Is he happy at his daycare? My daughter is only very selective on who she wants to talk to.

Kids are being taught socially inappropriate conduct a lot younger than when I was a child.

I never thought I would ever have to think about this kind of issue at my daughters tender age but some of the things that have come out of the local kids mouths, 3-5 years old, has been absolutely appalling. It's apparent these children are learning from their parents and the parents from the media.

I wouldn't want to encourage my child to be beaten up because she made a racist remark towards someone who got offended but some parents don't refrain themselves in front of their kids and they learn from their biggest influences. It's stressing but as you say a parent can only do their best. Your advice is much appreciated.

Yes you are right, these are very adult themes and shouldn't be of must concern for very little children to be influenced by. Unfortunately some Countries, you can see young children playing with hand guns rather than dolls and being filled with lies and manipulated to hate Westerners and to hate this or to hate that and that is why there is so many extremists filled with so much hate towards others of certain religions or races, they are taught young to hate.

It may seem like an adult situation but don't forget each generation isn't getting any better in regards to respect. Sex and having a child together should be between two mature aged adults yet babies are having babies by choice of having sex as they don't understand. Who would also think that a child is even capable of committing a rape crime let alone even knowing what sex is? but they are and they do. Stabbings in schools by kindergarteners - this is my point. My daughter is never to young to be poorly influenced in today's generation.

Perhaps you are living in a much better area of the world? I did say not every Country will experience the same as what I see in the media or on the streets. For a child to learn hatred it has to be pushed into the brains of a very young child and kids don't know any better. That is my point.

This is very long, many apologies in advance and a big thank you to those who take the time to read this novel of a story. I have written about a subject that is most important for me to teach my child and finding the best way in teaching it.

I think we are living in a world today that's filled with a lot of hatred or strong dislike against particular races and religions. I consider myself to be very accepting of other people's choices and am strongly against racism. I don't like to judge a whole Country or religion based on the actions of a few people that fall in the same category. It's very important for me to teach my child not to always believe the media or other peoples perceptions of others.

I was baptized Orthodox, consider myself Agnostic but am Orthodox when around my religiously sensitive family for the sake of family peace. I have a child who me and my husband have decided to allow her to make her choice in what religion she would like to follow and become so she has no faith.

I have nothing against those who are strictly religious or those who consider their religion superior to another so long as I know myself that everyone is really equal. On a daily basis I read strong and hateful remarks on those who follow the Islamic faith or even Arab Christians just because they are Arab, I read the stories in the media and think what is this world coming to? What they say and encourage has a big impact on my child's views later on once friends and media influence her.

There is things in all religions I agree and disagree with, however I believe that all the media hype against Muslims is encouraging crimes against non-Muslims or non-Arabs to go unnoticed or considered as "nothing or less of an importance than crimes committed by Muslims or Arabs" unless it's a crime against children, that's always big news in the media. This might not be the case in all Countries so maybe the hype isn't as bad as where I am from and live.

I am afraid my chid is going to be raised around so much ignorance and hatred and I will have little impact on instilling her beliefs that you get your good and bad in every race and religion. I hear and understand the hype from the media and those being against arranged marriages, beheadings, terrorism, domestic violence, torture and the fact that is allowed is what makes some people feel disgusted but non-Muslims commit these crimes too even though it's against our law in our respected Countries yet they go unnoticed or forgotten because the media doesn't put MUSLIM in the headings or on the front page news. It's like they are saying it's ok to be raped or tortured so long as it's not committed by a Muslim. That's how I feel.

There is a stereotype for most Races and Religions and nothing can stop that. I hope to teach my daughter that anybody of any race or religion is a potential danger to her safety. There was and perhaps still is phedophelia surrounded amongst Catholic priests yet that hadn't caused as much of a media stir and many other things than news committed by Muslims or Arabs. I want her to know that any man or woman can be a sexual predator. Domestic violence is everywhere. It's just as bad to get pregnant just to trap a man as it is to have an arranged marriage.

You don't have to be Muslim to be evil. If only Muslims/Arabs behave a certain way that no other race or religion behaves then we are all Muslims because the only difference is their laws permits certain acts of horrendous crimes in their Countries yet we are guilty in every Country by person/s in every religion and race of behaving the same way so why aren't us Westerners given the same labels as Muslims/Arabs?

Domestic violence, rape, torture, etc- it's all illegal in all non-Islamic based Countries yet people still commit these crimes. It may be legal in certain circumstances in Afghanistan and it's surrounding Countries, but not every Muslim man is going to beat his wife, rape someone, force their children in an arranged marriage. In fact, vast majority of the hideous crimes and torture/violence against woman committed in the world are committed by non-Muslims/Arabs. How is my child going to understand this when we live in a Country and a world so hateful against Arabs and Muslims and only these people can be bad people? They are treated horribly!!!

I hear of American, Australian, French, Chinese men beating/murdering their spouses, incest resulting in pregnancies, torture dungeons for their victims and locked away for many years deprived, parents or relatives abusing and neglecting their child/ren yet people aren't saying "they are Christian! they all must be like that? - all Christians must be bad!" or "Oh they are American? All Americans must be murderers!"

I play music from different Countries at home, I cook foods from these Countries, teach her some phrases and focus mostly on the Middle Eastern cultures/religion as that is the most misunderstood but many people around are very racist and stereotypical. I don't know if what I am trying to achieve will work. Any other suggestions?

IMO being able to communicate in another language besides English is a big plus for future career opportunities. Before I became a SAHM, I was working in International universities as I am able to speak 5 languages and understand 8 in total (yet don't speak the 3). I was also very popular amongst my students as I could sympathize with them in a way my co-workers couldn't. I could laugh with them, help them and give them advice in their own language.

From a career point-of-view learning a language shows that person has drive and motivation. It's not easy to learn a language, especially if you are not surrounded by the language. I was able to learn from having just 2 things to get me there 1.Drive 2. passion. Without having an interest in the culture as well as the language, I feel it's harder to learn. Turkish came to me so easily as it was a big passion of mine (and still is).

My ILS cannot understand anything I say to my child but I refuse to not speak in that language. I don't want her growing up to feel embarrassed or ashamed. The only problem I ever faced was envy. I couldn't speak a language without being accused of "boasting" since I never had formal lessons in any language and learning any language comes to me so easily.

Also, you never know where you are going to be living in the future. I never had an interest in French nor an interest in the culture of France and now I am an immigrant in France (for my husband) and I chose to study Italian instead of French at school as I thought I'd never need to learn French. French has been the hardest language for me to learn as I have no interest though the language is so easy.

Do you live in France or Canada? For now my husband speaks with our daughter mostly in French (90% of the time) but once she starts school, it will be just English spoken at home (I hope he keeps this promise). Your daughter will learn both languages, no doubt, and will be just as good in both (at least orally) if you keep her surrounded in an English speaking environment. She will learn French at school so it's not so bad if you speak to her in mostly English now. French will be her most dominant language, that's for sure, if that is the language she will be using at school amongst her peers/teachers and may not use much English at all if she loses contacts in English. My husband speaks French with our daughter as he thinks she won't learn French and needs to know French to enter school - but we live in France of cause she will learn French!

I'm Australian and my husband is French and we live in France. I'm the only foreigner and English speaker in my town so I'm all my daughter has for now to teach her English.

I speak English with her, I also speak with her in Turkish but she is having difficulty with pronunciation, though I understand what she is trying to say if she repeats back. My husband almost always speaks in French but sometimes Franglais or in English with her.

She knows when to switch languages with people and doesn't speak Franglais with them, either French or English or says one sentence in French then repeats it again in English.

She does have a preference for English and sometimes prefers to speak to her French relatives in English too, who never understand her, but I expect that to change once she starts school if I can't get her into an International school, English then might be forgotten or neglected!!.

I don't allow her to speak to me in French. I always speak to her in English when other people are around, I'm not concerned if that annoys them but I will speak with others in French when she is around.

Never mixes things up but she never responds to me or her father if we are referred to as maman and papa by someone. I am mummy and husband is daddy to her. If someone says "give that ball to maman or papa or say bye bye to maman or papa" she will gaze around thinking "who/what?" even though she knows what we are referred to in that language and people often have to point at us when she doesn't respond. I explain she doesn't have autism as people are often shocked with that!

She is 2 and speaks in clear, grammatically correct 8+ word sentences. Being trilingual hasn't affected her speech at all. You'll be OK

I try to reinforce the appropriate behaviour. What I don't allow, they (ILs) do and it's only further confusing her as they make it seem like it's fun to disrespect animals. They never even attempt to control, let alone discipline the dog/s appropriately, instead I get yelled at. So as soon as we get back home after seeing them, she is back to throwing rocks at the cat or smacking it after grandma allowed her to annoy the dog the same way. I immediately discipline her appropriately and seems to register with her until next time we are with them again.

I have tried discussing it with the ILs but all they say is "dogs aren't/can't be dangerous. I am just paranoid and extremely over protective". Twice she was left unattended with a dog that did not like her and she has never been left there alone again nor allow them alone with her even when I am there when ANY animal is present but there are times I can't always be there, whether to go to the toilet or quickly do something and it's during those times I worry since I know they've left her alone before and allow behaviour that encourages dogs to become aggressive in self-defense. I took her to the toilet with me after it happened when I needed to go but I can't keep doing that.

I grew up with 3 dogs all my life. After 8 years of perfect behaviour from all 3, one attacked my dad and had to be put down so I understand that caution is always necessary.

I am not scared of dogs nor is my daughter and I certainly would never blame the dog if it ever attacked or bit my child. I would blame my ILs for encouraging it. Hopefully I never see the dog again but if I do, I know to keep her away and take her with me if I leave the room.

EDIT: she does not yet understand what to do if a dog goes to "jump" nor recognize "friendly" and "aggressive" behaviour. I keep trying!

I use this math software with my 2yo http://www.alleducationalsoftware.com/xs44267.html and I also LOVE Khan Academy but only to have her watch the clips since it's very advanced for her.

EDIT: Sorry I forgot to give my feedback!

This software has helped my daughter to count using fingers and recognize them in random order. She can count pretty well and can do basic addition.

Khan Academy is more for me than her. I am now competent enough to teach her beyond addition, subtraction etc when she is ready for it as khan academy goes really beyond the extra mile in teaching math.

Thanks everyone

I do not feel guilty. it has caused a strain now and since I had problems in the past with my SILs dog with my child, they'll never tell us that they are going to bring their dog with them because they know how I'll react and won't want to go, they won't remove the dog, if they do it's just for a few minutes then comes back. They bring their dogs to every occasion except restaurants.

I was worried the dog remembered what she had been doing earlier to him and was trying to show his dominance or warn her IDK. I saw her doing these things from a distance, she was sitting next to my FIL whilst doing it so I came over and took her away.

I tell them all the time that they are confusing my daughter because I'm teaching her NOT to pull tails, poke ears, smack them with ANY animal because that's encourage a bite but they ENCOURAGE that behaviour from my daughter towards the dog and it scares me. They're just not on the same page, dogs can never be dangerous, EVER. The thing is if my daughter smacks the dog gently, they say be gentle that's not nice but laugh whilst saying it because the dog reacts so my kid will smack it again as they react to her. I tell them that's encouraging it even more then I complain to my husband that I want to leave.

Now I am worried about seeing them again since they may have the dog.

On Christmas Eve I had my first fight with my MIL and it was in front of the entire family, her family.

M 2yo was walking towards me, their dog, a Berger australien, jumps on her from behind and knocks her face down onto the tiled floor, I saw her face and she seemed distressed as she was falling down. I picked her up, ignoring the dog, and went to sit on the couch with her. I put her on the couch then the dog comes running towards us really fast and goes to jump on her again so my natural instinct was to protect her from getting hurt.

I used the side of my boot to shove the dog aside to stop him from jumping on her as I didn't know what his intentions were. Regardless, no dogs should be allowed to jump on people, especially small kids and the elderly. My 2yo is very small and the dog is bigger than her weight and height and she could have been standing next to the large flight of stairs or at the edge of the unfenced swimming pool and been seriously injured.

My MIL then starts yelling at me for "kicking" the dog. I was astonished that they allowed the dog to behave this way and I was yelled at for something that shouldn't have been allowed to happen in the first place. She didn't/doesn't rectify his behaviour, she didn't even do/say anything to the dog, just yelled at me for shoving the dog.

The thing that really bothered me was he was only like this with my child. They were allowing my child to poke his ears, pull his tail, annoy him when he was sleeping and all the things a person shouldn't be doing with animals, before this happened, because they think all this is cute. The dog turned around and "gently" chewed her hand. He spent a long time ignoring her before all this happened so I was afraid when I saw him coming, maybe he wanted to show my daughter who was boss - IDK.

Shoving the dog aside bothered her more than the fact that my child COULD have been injured, jumped on her chest, face bitten or bitten somewhere else, who knows what the dog was planning. She kept yelling at me for disrespecting her dog.

I did not go to their house on Christmas day as I know they wouldn't keep the dog away and I didn't want the day ruined. I just don't know how to react now or what to think now. Could this have been a warning from the dog? Our neighbours cat gets rocks thrown at it, pushed and so on by my 2yo hence my concern because all I need to do is turn my back and then something happens.

My mother tongue is English and my DH's is French. I self taught myself Turkish for more than 7 years and my Turkish is very well for someone who only learnt from books and listening to Turkish music. During a trip to Turkey many of the locals thought I was Turkish! I also speak to my little one in Turkish, not often at the moment, and we also have Turkish music playing at home daily - for me.

Unfortunately Turkish is a very hard language to find materials in so unless you get books and DVDs imported directly from Turkey or if your DH has other family members who can send them, it's going to be very difficult for your kids to learn Turkish at a satisfactory level if both your husband and MIL are less enthusiastic to speak exclusively in their language.

Also, understanding why they don't want to take it seriously is also important to know. Most Turkish people are very proud of their language and culture.

As for French, materials are very easy to find and if you play full length movies along with basic vocabulary builders like baby Einstein, they will pick up enough vocabulary, but certainly won't have them near close to fluency. The best option would be to spend time in a French/Turkish speaking Country often or to send them to a bilingual school. Try learning the language/s yourself, take an interest and find other mothers/fathers who speak that target language who also have kids.

My 2yo can only count to 10 and say seni seviyorum in Turkish but I really don't spend enough time talking to her at all in Turkish right now. I have a lot of Turkish books and things ready for the formal lessons though.