Hi Kimba,

I hope everything turns out alright for your little one. It must be a frustrating at times.

I haven't seen any signs signalling a possible allergy, perhaps this is because I have been avoiding the most highest allergen foods on a regular basis or slowly over time she's starting to become allergic to the ones I was giving often enough. Today her daycare said she started coughing and had a runny nose when eating a banana (high allergen food on the French list) but said they didn't think it was an allergic reaction. I don't give banana often.

The doctor call the ILs to tell them to stop feeding her, especially chocolates and sweets (because they weren't listening to me when I told them to stop with the junk food) as he said chocolate is the worst for constipation and said that was probably triggering it because they would never say no to when my dd would keep asking for more chocolate. I had been trying hard to watch and prevent them from feeding her.

DD always seems sick too, longer than a week and always seems sick in the mornings and in the evening/night with a runny nose and persistent cough but good in the day which is happening on/off. There hasn't been any drastic changes to weather it been about the same temp for past few weeks. The doctor said she seems to have a weaker than normal immune system.

The doctor on the 1st appt said it was caused by something she ate and said the spots is caused by mycosis (candida fungal infection). He said that when she did a pee or poo it became an infection and prescribed a stronger cream + soap to what the other doctors prescribed. On the second visit after seeing the spots had faded but were still present, I mentioned my daughters symptoms and my family history of hayfever, asthma and I asked again, what caused the spots and he said Atopy, so I assume what he meant the first time was she ate something she could be allergic to. I will ask about an oral treatment.

Thank you so much kimba15 for helping me understand more about the symptoms especially.

Thank you so much for your feedback.

Kimba, I know my daughter is not too young because I have read Australians and Americans talking about having their babies allergy tested and here is my daughter who is 2 years old and is "too young" in France to be tested. I will ask around and see if maybe it is just this particular doctor or all French doctors who consider her too young.

The doctor has not been very helpful in how to best control the situation but simply said "limit the amount of high allergen foods and watch how she reacts" but this does not make sense to me. My daughter is too young to be tested because she won't show "real signs" of a food allergy yet I am expected to look out for a reaction (which is a sign)???? Evidently my daughter is not to young to show signs, otherwise I wouldn't have to be watching out. I am considering serving 1 high allergen food at a time and giving it a few days like one would normally have to do when first introducing solids.

She is in daycare but my partner does not want her taken out but I will speak with the daycare provider when I go to pick her up soon. I don't like sending my sick child to daycare.

I had only recently noticed that my husband was giving her a lot of dairy, and tsk tsk chocolate filled products as well, at a given time, he has been just as guilty but I told him to stop before the doctor told us about having Atopy and he listened. For a very long time she had been constipated and always had a lot of straining that led to tearing, I noticed that since I had my husband cut back on giving the dairy intake, her constipation has gone. Her poos are softer, very little straining and there hasn't been any blood. Would this have been caused by taking in too much or from an intolerance? What signs was your daughter showing that considered you to believe she must have an allergy or intolerance?

Dalis, my ILs feel the same about their beloved pets and even if they limit the exposure, they will never wash their hands, which is also extremely important, regardless. I said something about the smoking from the start of my daughters first day born since we first lived together in a very small house. I do know that she smoked throughout all 3 of her pregnancies and doesn't consider passive smoking as dangerous. I don't know if she thinks that way as none of her children were born addicted to nicotine or because all 3 of her children don't have health problems related to her smoking but I hate seeing parents who smoke in front of babies and even children.

I rarely gave my dd chocolate but since has stopped because it really is just not good. She only knows about sweets because of mainly my SIL. I didn't mind small a amount of chocolate on a special occasion, and only given by me but my SIL is 21 and quite overweight because she has a lot of problems with food, especially chocolate and cakes. I didn't think that was being a good role model for my dd since she is overweight due to her problems with overeating bad foods and she is always giving my dd large amounts of chocolate or sweet food every time we see her. I hope this will have her stop.

Is there a particularly good website that would be helpful? Maybe high allergen foods differ in each Country.
Sorry for my rambling on but you guys seem better than any doctor.

Sorry, I should mention that me nor my husband smoke. We live in an animal free environment due to my allergies and my daughter appears to have a regular runny stuffy nose, since late September and it's Autumn now where I am, that is bothering her a lot and making her really irritable it's coming and going lasting weeks at a time so I suspect an allergy : (. Windows are always closed, I am trying to wash all her things regularly and going to buy special pillows. My mother-in-law however smokes around my daughter and smokes like a chimney. My inlaws also own a lot of birds and guinea pigs and animal hair is everywhere in their house.They never wash their hands after handling a pet and their clothes are always covered in fur. I guess that environment will only trigger her symptoms? I see them a fair bit.

Good morning/evening to all,

This is such a wonderful forum for all things educational/general parenting and hope there is someone on here who may be going through the same thing with their own child and/or themselves in regards to Atopy. Here is a link for those who are unsure of what it is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atopy. My daughter has had a nappy type looking rash on her vulva and buttocks for 2.5 months now and that is what I first thought it was. I did all the things the doctors had recommended and cream after cream, nothing had changed the appearance and certain spots have now become infected and after searching for many doctors for another opinion after each unsuccessful test/cream, one doctor confirmed that it was caused by something she ate due to having atopy i.e a food allergy.

He prescribed a stronger cream and specific bath/shower soap, since then the appearance has dramatically changed for the better but the spots are still there, just smaller in appearance, separating from each other and less red and bumpy. This doctor has said she is too young to be tested for allergies and still too young to show "stronger/real" signs of a food allergy and just gave me an allergy control medicine to give her and another cream for the spots which she is to start tomorrow.

Asthma and hayfever run in my side of the family but not on my husbands side. I have food/animal allergies as well as hay fever so I gathered it was genetic. I have read about the preventable measures regarding caution with high allergen foods, elimination etc but I have no idea on what she could have eaten that made her react that way. I noticed it happened not long after visiting my inlaws. It happened gradually, itching down there and then the spots were everywhere first starting on her body, looked like red pimples, disappeared then reappeared on her vulva and buttocks as bright red spots more like mosquito bites. The next time my daughter was with my inlaws, I noticed her cheeks were bright red and spotty as well as the side of her temple not long after having eaten something but they fed her so much of many different foods that I don't know what triggered it.

They tend to over-feed her chocolate and sugary sweets, and many other things in large quantities in a short time frame, especially high allergen foods, a bit too much for my liking but that's bound to happen when I am not around or turn around to do something, they quickly slip it in. She has never had this problem with me or my husband because I have always been careful due to her being high-risk and I never feed her too much of anything in a given time nor give her bad foods like chocolate and sweets. My doctor called them to tell them not to feed her, I hope they stop this time as they told me when my daughter was still a baby that if she was allergic to something, she'd have been allergic by now but that is not true. I think that is why they never listened to me when I told them to stop feeding her.

My doctor said to test her and make notes on a reaction but if she has a specific allergy, does that mean I have to eliminate products like soaps and creams and aromas and anything else of that particular irritant if I am lucky enough to catch out the culprit? Is anyone on here familiar with Atopy in children that could give me some advice on how to best control her diet since I am unaware of what food/s could be causing it and what environments are not best suited for her (triggers like cigarette smoke) because I think she has an allergy of something else besides from food? 2.5 months of not knowing is causing me much stress!

Thank you so much for any feedback.

Best regards,
Nic31600

Hello everyone!

I did a quick search on the forum for the word pinterest so I thought it was safe for me to make a post on this wonderful website since the results came back "No results found".

I have found so many early learning ideas to use with my toddler thanks to this site. You can find almost anything on there. Here is the link to the website http://pinterest.com/. For those who may have not heard of this site before, if you have a FB account, you can log in using that to avoid the longer process of registering and just write any topic you are hoping to search for in the search engine.

This is an example of what comes up after searching "home school" http://pinterest.com/mistyblue4u/home-school/ and "language arts" http://pinterest.com/search/?q=language+arts.

For those of you who may already be quite familiar with pinterest, please feel free to comment on any topics/subjects/keywords you normally browse for in regards to EL in case I have missed some. I'm obsessed with pinterest.

Hope you enjoy !!

What a great site! My DD loves the water but is awfully frightened by the thought of me or my husband letting her go, even for a second. I haven't got my dd enrolled in any professional swimming lessons yet, unfortunately I have been putting it off due to other commitments. I know of this website that gives free swim lessons online with printable lesson plans http://www.uswim.com/. I plan to use the help of this site until I find the time to fit in a professional swim class, giving the lessons to my dd during bath time. This is also a great site for those who are on a low income and can't quite yet afford swimming lessons for their child/ren.

Hi everyone,

Lately I've been feeling very stressed. I live in France with my daughter and partner, I speak English and my partner speaks Intermediate English but he's very bad with written English. One of my biggest stresses lately has been how to keep my daughter interested in English once she starts school. I hear time and time again from everybody that my daughter will be fluent in English because I speak to her in only English but when she's in a small rural country town, all she will be hearing and seeing is French and she will obviously prefer to speak French than English.

If I was living in any Country but France, I wouldn't feel stressed about it but since the French are famous for their arrogance towards speaking English, I stress ALL THE TIME. We don't have much money so can't afford to send her to a bilingual school or move closer to the city where there are English groups for kids and there's not many "decent" English books at libraries so will always have to buy off Amazon which I can't afford often as the P&H will cost more than the book itself. I have downloaded English language activities but trying to find the time to teach her is the biggest challenge.

She will be starting school at 3 years of age for 8 hours a day, four days a week. I want to spend the day of the week where she won't be going to school to sit her down and go through it all properly but I do worry that it won't interest her. She really doesn't have access to anything English speaking besides me as I have no friends or family here that speak English. I also don't drive which makes it harder. I want my partner to speak English to her now but he refuses (daughter is 2).

I always knew that French will become the dominant language as it will be the language she'll be using with everyone (except me) but I don't want her to lose her English as I believe learning English is more important than French!. I am very bad at explaining, teaching etc. So, as I will be the only one she will have, her chances of learning English is very low or just won't be fluent like me? Any advice besides continuing to speak the language to her...any great free resource/s out there for teaching English with lesson plans? I'm sorry it's long but my daughter isn't speaking much English to me now and I don't speak French (hard to learn at my age)!!!.

nhockaday that's a fantastic idea! Why didn't I think of a portable DVD player. I don't have one but I can take a look and hopefully they are not very expensive. I am bringing colouring stuff but she tends to throw them around so hopefully she'll behave herself. I do have a laptop but it only works if I have it plugged in to my normal computers monitor as the screen is damaged. I have a psp  but I doubt that'll do anything for her. I will definately need to go up the road and buy some new toys. I hope they have a childrens play area at all the airports i'll be stopping at, i'll let her walk around at the airport and on the plane, that will definately tire us both out! Thank you! It's been 2 years since i've last been there so really excited and can't wait to show my daughter our beautiful beaches so hope it doesnt rain. Thanks guys

AussieMumofOne -they intend well but when it comes to our in-laws who've lived through it all you can't really defend yourself against somebody that says ''I did it with all my kids and they turned out alright''. Usually they tend to think they know it all and your the poor defensless new mother who must be lost.

This mothers group, they are run by a group of child psychologists and I could never relax, they were always analayzing every move I made and finding all my faults. Her day care couldn't accept that my daughter was being raised like an Australian and they went against my beliefs and did things their way anyway, I pulled her out after only 2 days for discrimination, neglect and abuse. I don't go to any groups now nor have any support and early learning isn't really welcomed here so much. I do a lot with my daughter at home and just take her to play parks where it's run by non-psychologists.

The saying goes 'when you get married you marry the entire family'. In France it's 'When you get married you marry the entire community'. With my experience in France, i've learnt to stick up for myself as a parent now even if people take it offensively, it's better to say something as long as you do it politely, they think they are only trying to help but to us, we feel like we are getting criticized.  . I hope  it gets better for you

Me and my 16 mo old will be heading to Sydney for christmas this year so she can finally meet my side of the family. I won't be going with my husband and i'm terrified on how to keep her mostly seated and entertained for the 23 hour flight.

I've done a lot of google search on how to keep her busy but they all give suggestions my daughter has zero interest in or will only keep her still for 2 minutes before she loses interest. I wont have a tv on the longest flight due to the seating arrangement so If any of you have any suggestions or have done long solo flights before, can you tell me of your experience?

My DD is very loud, active and I can't hold her attention for long without musical toys but they will drive others crazy so they are not an option luckily she is not a crying type of child either. .Any tips will be highly appreciated 

I had my daughter sleep on her back while she was a newborn and let her sleep on her stomach only during the night once she had steady head control but she would cry if she wanted to be turned over so I knew when she wasn't comfortable.

I think it's great that she shows concerns but it's even harder coming from a much older generation, so much has changed in parenting and medically, with new statistics being proved and it doesn't help that not all doctors share the same medical opinions and beliefs. It's not an easy thing to have to listen to, especially when you know they are wrong or there is a debate about the subject by various doctors. I've also had to deal with a lot of ridiculous things said from my very old fashioned French in-laws, they way Australians do things, the French have the opposite belief and to most people, not just my in-laws, i'm seen as the worst mother in the world, no ones has ever seen a style like mine.

I had a large debate with my MIL about how she thought my daughter HAD A SERIOUS problem and she was running around calling every old fashioned doctor for advice on getting surgery for my then 14 month old 'cause when she was starting to learn how to walk, she was walking with her feet out pretty bad, I told her it's cause she isn't confident yet and just trying to find her balance it only happened when she wore the shoes she bought for her, which my daughter was wearing the day we saw her, barefoot she was only very slightly sticking out. I wasn't concerned, my mother-in-law had planned an x-ray, she was crying telling me how concerned she was for my daughter. Luckily I had a very modern French doctor who told her EXACTLY what I told her and she was proved wrong a month later by my now very confident walker.

I think you handled it very well. If it gets to much after a while, you can always tell her 'thanks for the concerns but he is my son and if I feel there is something wrong, I will immediately take him to the doctor for a check up.' You may not be as blunt as I am but I really had to put my foot down because I was getting criticised from all angles, I even stopped taking my daughter to her local playgroup and daycare as I often left in tears. For me, it was more about cultural differences and it's only going to get worse but if you ever feel it becomes too much, don't be afraid to say 'I am the mother here, I appreciate all the concerns and advice but I know my own child and I know what's best for him' Good luck!

You could probably add a little extra to make it more interesting and challenging but if you were to teach solely from the workbooks and not rely on any other resource/s, then no, I wouldn't find it very effective as I do find it's made for one set level, beginners.

hypatia - my partner speaks just French and me JUST English to her. Everyone, besides my partner, thinks it's not relevant for my daughter to learn it at all because she is French and living in France. What about me? I'm Australian, it's my mother tongue. If I speak to her in English, my in-laws quickly correct me and tell me not to speak English and even tell my daughter not to speak it cause we are in France and French people speak French. I speak French to everyone but my daughter and partner as we are focusing on moving to Australia or England in the future and i'm the only one they can learn from as I said.

I don't know why everyone seems to be so against it, maybe it goes along with those who think teaching them too much at once will do more harm then good, it will confuse them I don't know. I wouldn't mind speaking both myself with her but if you see how bad English is in France and how rare it is, I'd prefer to focus on just English as I completely agree with carpe vestri vita 'It is, at current, the most valuable language'. They are both important for her to learn just I can't seem to get my point across as to why we should focus on both rather than just French!. Perhaps you may know of any 'good' article on this topic that's in French? about children and bilingualism.

Usually I don't care about what people have to say if I believe i'm doing the right thing but I won't be always there to defend it if there will be a time when people say to her ''don't speak English'' and she listens to them as she will feel like she is being punished for it.

Thank you for your replies

I would like to ask if anyone that has been or is in a similar situation, for advice and/or just reassurance. Sorry it's LONG but it's a battle i've been facing for over 16 months now, I'd like to solve this and clear my mind.

I'm an expatriate living in France on a permanent long-term basis. My mother tongue is English and my partners is French, he is basic in English. It has been agreed upon us both that we will raise our French born daughter to be bilingual. When I look at the amount of time my partner has with our daughter, I can't see her learning French until she starts going to school and interacting with other kids/staff (something she doesn't get right now).

I refuse to speak French to my daughter, only for the fact that English in France is taught so poorly in schools, hearing it is rare, especially in my small country town. Brochures, books, websites or anything related to something being needed in English is never followed by correct grammar usage and not to mention the 101 spelling mistakes, so that will never teach her. I used to speak only French with her but when I started forgetting English (it's possible!) I immediately stopped.

I feel like i'm always being condemned for putting the need to learn English first even though the official language in France is French. The community thinks i'm a typical arrogant foreignor who refuses to integrate with French society (not the case!). I know learning French should be priority as she is in France but I also feel like I have a big responsibility to teach her English as she will only have me to rely on. We can't afford to send her to a private English school and why should I when I can teach her properly and for free at home and she can learn French for free at school?

My in-laws and other parents all refuse to understand how important it is for her to learn English just as much as French, not just for my sake but for her future too. If she grew up only speaking/hearing French, it would be harder for her to learn English at a much later age, we plan on being in France for quite a few years. French people have a very bad reputation when it comes to learning English, their reluctance to learn and being proud of their language, they see no reason to teach/learn English really.

It would be nice to hear of anybody elses opinion, if anyone else agrees that my daughter will pick up French from school and how things are won't affect her especially if your an expatriate in the same situation. I don't think France is too familiar with bilingulism. I was looking at all the people who were struggling with English so this has really made me think about it, reassuring myself that i'm doing things the right way. I do feel guilty as this is France but the only time French people speak English is if they work for an English owned company and they are barely fluent.

Thanks guys =)