Dear Sunshine Mama,

Yes, the in-laws live with us in the same house.

xxx

This is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing!

Congratulations Dad Dude! I am so happy for you and your family. By the way, any encyclopedia you do will be a hit because all your presentations are excellent. My daughter even says she wants to do "Dad Dude's slideshows"! She said this in front of my husband the other day who looked very perplexed and asked who Dad Dude was!

Thank you all for your comments. You're all very kind, special people and I wish you all the best for taking the time out to comfort a perfect stranger! I was really upset yesterday and came across this sentence in a self help book (imagine...she has driven me so batty, I've actually resorted to reading those!) that said, "What someone else says cannot really annoy or irritate you unless you PERMIT it to disturb you." 

But really, I'm an adult and I can rationalise it (albeit with a lot of help) but what really worries me is the effect on my daughter. I'm just so sorry her grandma is this way. I had such a loving relationship with both my grandmas and it's a shame my daughter has to be exposed to being belittled and unfairly compared. It can really undermine a child's sense of confidence. Words can be very hurtful.

Thank you all once again.

Dear All,

I need some advice because admittedly, I am really angry right now and not thinking straight. My mother in law displays such blatant favoritism towards my sister in law's kids and is so different to mine! She is always unfavourably comparing them, whenever my daughter misbehaves (as kids do) she always tells me to hit her or be strict and whenever the other grandkids misbehave, which they do all the time, and my sister in law reprimands them) she gets upset and says "OOOH dont say anything...stop it." Then...she publicly goes on about how marvellous her other grandkids are and if anyone praises my daughter, she either keeps quiet and says that they havent met her other grandkids or she criticises her and mentions the one time she misbehaved. Whenever my daughter says or does something special (as a result of Glen Doman), her grandma just keeps quiet and doesnt say well done or anything like that but if her other grandkids do something no matter how ordinary, she goes on and on and on and on about how wonderful they are!

When I point this favoritism out to her she becomes really nasty and says that I am making things up and just yells and screams (we live in a joint family by the way). So...my question is, I am worried that my daughter will grow up with a complex...I just dont know how to explain to a small child why her grandma gets the other kids presents on a regular basis but not her (because I cant explain it myself) or is different to her. Any advice please? How would you deal with this vis a vis your CHILD. I dont want to tackle my mother in law because (a) it is impossible to change the habits of a grown woman; (b) her behaviour is between her and her conscience; (c) she gets really nasty in other ways when she is confronted.

Thanks

Thanks Twinergy!

Thank you!!

I was just about to write a post asking if anyone knew of a good free website for maths (like starfall).

xxx

Very impressive! Amazing imagination!

Dear Ayana,

How old is your daughter? I had similar problems. I put my daughter in montessori at two and a half. She liked it in the first week but I was sitting in class. When I left in the second week she went hysterical and was like that for 2 months. She just didnt adapt. The security situation in the country forced me to take her out of school and she is much happier now. She kept telling me she didnt want me to leave and that the only thing she hated about school was that I left her there. I think maybe when she is older, say three, she may adapt better. Perhaps if your child is young, you can wait for a while. My daughter is thriving being at home and I am doing a bit of homeschooling.

Just out of interest...I know we dont have to worry about this for a while but...when it comes time to fill out college applications and the colleges ask for references from teachers...what do homeschooling parents do? Do we write the reference or what?

I initially thought it was also bcs I am a stay at home mom but then so are most of the other moms around me.

 For instance, my sister is also a stay at home mom but she doesnt really spend that much time with her kids (they are usually with the nanny or the grandparents) and certainly doesnt do this right brain programme. Anyway, her kids are a real handful. They are very destructive (they are always breaking things - even the older ones who are 8 and 9), she has virtually had to turn her entire home into a child-safety zone i.e. she has put bedsheets on  her sofas and her expensive rugs, removed all breakables etc. She used to joke with me that I would have to do the same and re-upholster all my white sofas but so far, I have not had to do this and any of the stains on the sofas are all caused by her kids when they visit. I have been doing the right brain programe with her toddler (1 years and 6 months) for two months now and we have noticed a BIG difference in her behaviour. Whereas she used to be a very destructive child who you couldnt leave unattended for even a second, she is now MUCH better behaved. She knows not to put small things in her mouth and she doesn't try and pick up vases and other things which arent toys.

Of course, the odd accident does happen with toddlers - I'm not saying that it doesnt bcs that is only natural- it's just that I have noticed that I don't seem to have the same problems with my child that my friends and relatives have with their kids who arent doing early learning. I can sit fairly comfortably in someone else's house knowing that my daughter will not want to break their valuables. I was just interested to know if other parents have  this same experience.

Because I am beginning to think that early learning has additional benefits such as better coordination, greater attention span, greater social skills, understanding cause and effect, constructive as opposed to destructive behaviour etc.

My daughter has recently started finding flashcards and power point slide shows boring. I tried a new way to make it interesting for her and it has worked even though I'm not sure it is 'right brain' as such.

I make her favourite dolls and teddy bears sit in a circle (ten of them) and then I hand flashcards of words (or dots) out to her and ask her which toy she wants to give each word to e.g. "Who gets the word 'star'"?. She has great fun doing this. Then I ask her to give me the word 'star' or 'elephant' etc and invariably she gives me the right word. Sometimes she gets it wrong but it doesnt matter. When she gives me the right word we either talk about it or sing a song about it (like Twinkle Star) or if it is an animal, we make the animal sound.

Dear All,

I wanted to ask you all a question. Since we all seem to be parents who spend a lot of quality time with our babies/toddlers and try and teach them positive things, you all are the right people to ask this question.

I have noticed an additional 'benefit' from what we are doing. My daughter seems to be a lot easier to train (in terms of manners and general know-how) than other kids the same age whose parents dont spend so much time with them and dont do this right brain programme. For instance- she is really well behaved in comparison to her peers and I havent really had to scold her or anything. I just tell her something once (or twice) and she gets the point and listens. I have never really had a problem with her putting small objects in her mouth, which is a real problem for many of my friends whose kids have to be constantly supervised. I have a lot of breakable, valuable objects around the house but she never goes for them because I told her they aren't toys. All my furniture is white and she has  never dirtied it nor has she written on walls. She isnt destructive either - she tends to look after her toys. Basically I have none of the problems that all my friends seem to be having.

Do  you think this is a by-product of right brain teaching? What I  mean is, do you think it is easier for them to understand things because we have been stimulating their brains from a young age?

I personally think Baby Einstein (BE) has got a lot of unnecessary and unfair bad press lately. Their only mistake I think was to say that their products raise a baby's IQ and there were a lot of parents who simply plonked their babies infront of the TV and used BE as a glorified baby sitter and then complained that their babies didnt become geniuses.

But, I have a few observation on BE from my experience which is why I think that all the hoopla is over hyped:

1. Some of the books are really good. When I first saw them I thought they were a bit complicated especially given that on the cover they said 'from 6 months upwards' and then in the text proceeded to say things like "Gorillas are the largest animals in a group called primates'. BUT...I was wrong. My daughter LOVED the colourful pictures and the photographs and I found that the BE books were a great investment because they remain interesting to the child until they are about 4 or 5 years old. In the beginning you can discuss pictures with them and my daughter learned a lot of vocabulary just from me pointing things out in the pictures. Now that she is 2, she likes to hear the text as opposed to just talking about the pictures.

2. Regarding the DVD's. I personally was a bit disappointed with some of them but my daughter seemed to like a couple of them and the one about numbers reinforced number recognition for her. There are some better DVD's out there like Brainy Baby which does a 'right brain' flashcard segment for the alphabet.

Unlike a lot of other people, I dont think watching TV in moderation is bad because I feel if you ban it altogether, the child becomes obsessed with it so you can use TV to your advantage as an educational tool - like a digital board book. They can see how monkeys and tigers move etc.

Also, I think it's worth bearing in mind that before BE, the available products for toddlers  out there were either non-existent or not that great. So I think people should take it easy re Baby Einstein. It wont make your baby a genius but if used in moderation (like anything else) it wont harm either. Some studies say that watching BE or other DVDs reduces a child's vocab by 6 words and can actually lower their IQ. I think this only applies to parents who use TV as a baby sitter and have little interaction with them. My daughter is a motor-mouth with a very impressive vocabulary - she started talking at 9 months. So I dont think BE did her any harm at all, in fact, some of the  books even did her some good as did the DVD on numbers/counting. The seasons one also helped bcs it is hard to explain to a toddler what seasons are especially when you live in a country that has one season all year round (summer!).

I hope this helped.
xxxxxx
 

Dear TheyCan,

My daughter learned to talk at 9 months much to our shock! However, she was a very late crawler and walker - she didn't crawl till after her first birthday and didnt walk till she was 1 yrs and 4months. I think all her development was expended in talking! As for how often I sang nursery rhymes to her - everyday once or twice. Not more than that. Babies have an incredible memory. Even if your child cant talk yet, he will surprise you when he starts and will probably know  all those nursery rhymes by heart even if you only told him once a day.