We live in the US. Both my husband and I are ABCs (American-Born Chinese).
My Hubby's ExperienceHis mother spoke to him in Mandarin for his first year of life then promptly switched to English for the rest of his childhood. His father spoke English all the way through--that's all he can speak. He went to Mandarin classes for many years as a child but told his parents that this was not necessary "because we live in the US". He grew up in Alhambra, CA (a Chinese enclave of Los Angeles). Thus, my hubby speaks mainly English and had VERY halting mandarin when I married him 6 years ago. In the 3 years since we've had our first daughter, he's progressed amazingly to holding full conversations with her in Mandarin!
My ExperienceMy parents spoke to me in Cantonese. The joke is that I didn't know anything beyond my name, my siblings' names, ABCs and numbers when I went started preschool at age 4. After 6 weeks, I came home trying to speak English to my mother--PERFECTLY FLUENTLY! I grew up in southern California. My mother promptly instituted a new rule: Cantonese was to be the language that we (my sisters and I) should use to speak to her. If we used any other language, we might as well be speaking to the wall. This definitely kept my ability in Cantonese intact. We were sent to Mandarin lessons every Sunday from age 4 to 16. So, now at age 33, I am fluent in English, Cantonese and Mandarin. I read and write in Mandarin but speak Cantonese better. English, by far, is my strongest language.
My Daughter's Experience (so far)She is 3 yrs 3 mths old currently. Because of our personal experiences, we decided before ever having her that we would REQUIRE all our children to be as multi-lingual as possible. So, from Day 1, my hubby would speak to my daughter in Mandarin (halting as it was) and ask for help from me. It was easy because babies can't respond to you verbally at the beginning--so he just kept asking how to say words that he didn't know. He would read to her in English because that's all he could do. Now he's learned to insert words in Mandarin as he is able. As for me, because I speak both Cantonese & Mandarin, I have been speaking to her in Cantonese when my hubby isn't around and in Mandarin when he IS around. I am the main caregiver. So, currently her strongest language is Cantonese. She definitely can speak Mandarin AND English enough to get around and make her needs known clearly.
NO CONFUSION at all. She speaks Mandarin to Daddy, Cantonese to Mommy, and English with everyone else. (We live in a mainly Caucasian area--English-predominance). We started learning Spanish together when she was 18 months. We listen to Christian songs (that I already know in English) in Spanish. That way, I already have a headstart because I know the tune and just have to work on getting the words along with her. Yes, learning several languages (Cantonese, Mandarin, and English) concurrently definitely delays your verbal output skills but once the speaking started, it has never stopped! She started saying single words around 15 months, full sentences by 20 months. We also used Baby Signs since age 6 months--she started responding with signs at 8 months and that helped alot since we knew she would be late in starting to talk due to multiple languages being taught concurrently.
So, for us, Cantonese/Mandarin #1 because it's our culture/heritage and it will be useful in my children's generation if they want to do business with or in China. English #2 because we live in the US. Spanish #3 because that's the next most spoken language in the world--very useful in California (which is where we live).
I hope this helps! Kudos to all of you trying to teach your kids more than 1 language--I believe it really helps you think faster. It definitely helped me!
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