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One of the great secrets of learning is that we must, either within ourselves or within our children and homes, create an environment where it is OK to fail. Not only is it OK, it is expected, even relished on a daily basis. This seems completely contradictory, but it is not, IF failure is accompanied by feedback and learning, and a re-attempt, and more learning.
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I believe it takes at least 10,000 mistakes to learn a foreign language, or deep skill like math or music. Each mistake (and correction) takes us closer to mastery, so we need to both feel safe and get busy making those mistakes in the most fun and supportive environment we can! The more fun or at least effortless it is to make mistakes (try) the more we can learn. The more we traumatize ourselves or our children for trying and missing, the more cautious we become, the more we narrow our vision, the less we learn, and in this ever changing world, being afraid to fail and learn could be the worst thing we could teach our children.
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I also believe that it's ok to make mistakes, because often that's the best way to learn (by heart, even) anything! I regret not being adventurous enough to actually try a lot of things back then, such as playing an instrument or singing (on my own, like in a contest/recital, for example), as I was afraid of failing to do it "perfectly." In the end I've always stuck to just the few things that I knew or that I was consistently good in.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that both of my parents were the best or smartest in their families, and they were very eager on making us grow up to be as amazing as they are. Another factor here is how one parent often compares us with other peoples' children or with each other, while the other parent supports, encourages and acknowledges each of us for whatever achievement (and non-achievement) we have -- looking back, it
was indeed very confusing (and somewhat counterproductive)!
I'm still afraid of failing (at being a good parent), but I'm convincing myself little by little that there's no harm in trying. Hopefully I can manage to be as supportive as possible, and my kids won't be afraid to try new things so they will not miss out on discovering the many many things that they can do. I also hope they'd be able to understand and appreciate music even if their current teacher isn't exactly well-versed in the topic!
Looking forward to more fantastic tips! At the moment I'm quite curious about how to figure out when it's the "right time" to introduce playing instruments, or what instruments to show first, to different kids. I'm looking at the piano, just because that was the very first instrument I've discovered when I was little (my grandparents from both sides had a piano at home)
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