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So first things first, has anything changed in the house hold recently? Even if it is something you might not think is a big change, it could be for her.
Something you have to remember is as a young child it is hard for her to exspress her feelings, so this may be her way of telling you she is not happy.
Now I can also tell you that when you are telling her that she wont have friends in the future ect... She is too young to think that far ahead... If it isnt happing right now she isnt going to be concerned with it...
The tips I can give you is first make sure there isnt something causing it ( like maybe a new sibling, new daycare, loss of her binkie, etc)
When it does happen I would first go down to her level ( Big anger mommas can be scary) and let her know that it is not okay, but still let her know you acknowledge her feelings & you love her.
For instants if she hits you, you say you are not allowed to hit mommy because it hurts... You can try and ask why she hit you, she may or may not tell you. Then you let her know you understand she is not happy & then you need to tell her you still love her. ( if you spank her this can confuses a child, if you spank her she may in return think it is okay to hit)
If she is being mean, lets say you want a hug and she refuses, just reassure that you love her and when she feels like giving you a hug you will be ready to give one.
Or if she isn't being nice to a friend, let her know it is not okay, find out if you can why she is acting that way, try and show her what is acceptable and if you have to take her home or send the child home. If she knows that the playdate will end she may next time act nicer.
I guess what I am saying is be consistent, dont use guilt, let her know that her feelings are okay, but that there is a right and wrong way to express them, and just let her know you still love her... and again make sure there is nothing causing this behavior... In the end kids goes through phazes and this is all we can do . hth
