http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15495090

VBAC- Vaginal Birth After Caesarian / CS - Repeat Caesarian Section

Some women have a great sense of loss after a CS.

Misunderstandings and mis-communication
at the time of the CS can lead to lack of trust and a sense of betrayal,-powerlessness.

The way the woman experienced the birth is not the same as the way the hospital experienced the birth. The partner's experience will be different again.

It is wise to talk to a trusted health professional about the smallest details to get the birth in perspective.
And early in the next pregnancy of course.

The above link shows that we still do not know which option is best.
Both options carry risks.
Planned repeat CS or planned VBAC
It is very interesting to me that the research still needs to be done.

This uncertainty means that VBAC is strongly supported in the UK Australia and NZ where I have worked.
I cannot speak for USA.

(Sadly CS is not even available to many women and babies in the world today ...but that is another thread.)

How can the research compare apples with apples?
Not apples with oranges.

Many CS are done now for social reasons.
If these women choose vaginal birth next time the research has to show
this outcome separately to CS for other reasons.

The research has to take into account CS for breech.
So many women have given birth easily already but they had a CS for breech in a later pregnancy.
These women of course will be very successful with Vaginal Birth After Caesarian.

I have spent my working lifetime advocating for women around childbirth.

A woman may have given birth beautifully several times in the past and the next baby is in a position that will make the labour difficult.
We do not know why.
A woman may have a CS for a difficult labour which is attributed to the size of her baby. The next baby births normally and is the same size or bigger.
 
It is an emotional minefield.
The way we feel about our births impacts on us deeply.
Women need the support of trusted heath professionals.

Hospitals need to change.

Importantly the care of a woman in labour with a history of previous CS does require very careful monitoring with the access to emergency CS if required or even if deemed required.

Did you get my personal message?

All good information.

The first place to start is -debrief about what really happened last time.
Your next birth can be wonderful which ever way you do it.
I have sent a personal message.

I know another sort of princess.
She plays "dress ups" with her female adult friends and they belly dance together.
The philosophy, as I understand it now is based on group support.

The dance has certain moves which take some skill.
The group improvise the choreography as the music takes them.
Each dancer takes a turn to lead being careful not to make it too complex for the least experienced member but to give them a new and fun experience.
This is ATS belly dancing and very little girls love it too.

When I first saw the women dressing up before a public performance I was astonished.
It looked so camp and over the top.
It took about an hour.
Lots of makeup and glued on sparkles.
Henna fingers, rings bracelets and turbans, brass and dangling coins.
Warrior style like Ghengis Khan or Bodicea.
There is not much skin showing with layers of frilled skirts and huge satin pantaloons.
The cholee or bodice/bra is not at all skimpy.

They maintain they are not out to titilate the men in the audience and I believe them.
But I do enjoy seeing the older generation of male standing transfixed often with his mouth open.
The women smile and the little children dance.

The music grates my ears but seems right when the group is dancing.
It is powerful and feminine and I think confronting in a way that might be about that power.
I believe men do participate but that is uncommon.

I know there are a couple of belly dancers who will read this.

Interesting topic sexual identity and how we might be role modelling our own views.

Give me a clue?
What link?

Oooh that's great.
Must buy TS Elliot poetry reminder.

The other grandparents do think our kust turned 2yr old can read after this happened.....
Background is, pamphlets lying around from travel agent.
Trip to Europe subject of anticipation.

Two year old grabbed a brochure and said this to her mum.
"Read the Turkey one mum"

Thank you
For your effort and explanation

Thank you
Yes I get it.
Yes I followed your info on the highly sensitive child.
It made a lot of sense.
I thought I had messaged you back then but at the time my Brillkids message connection wasn't working.

I believe we had one. HSC
After following your thread it was the best explanation yet.
And after reading your info she believes so too.

May I tell a true story.
I consulted a physics teacher with HSC present .
He admired her academic abilities .
He asked me about her personality.
How would I describe her in a few sentences.
I said -if she had to wait for hours in this room and there was only one chair occupied by a cat she would stand.
He laughed and said he was like that too.

I understand this but i am not that extreme myself.
The cat would have to shift.

I do personally get into difficulties reading too much into other people's emotions.
And having too many alternatives racing through my mind.
It is both good and a nuisance.

My HSC and I have great conversations when we see each other.
My husband gets completely lost in the first couple of minutes.

Thanks

I have never used a psychologist. So I don't have the experience.
Please read my comments with a grain of salt.
Ignore me if I am not useful.
Reading your thread I am putting myself in the "professionals" shoes trying to work out why all the information needed to be loaded on to the two of you ASAP

Maybe I too would /could fall into that trap in my job?
I hope not because I believe in partnership first and trusting the family to find their own solutions.
How could it go so poorly?
Time constraints ;a lack of opportunity to form a relationship with you both; a perception that they knew best and a belief that your daughter was not able to interpret the conversation on her own terms.

I am a health professional but I never enjoy being on the receiving end.

I always appreciate your posts.
Thanks for sharing.
It is so useful to hear your thoughts.
I reflect on my own parenting and how my daughters are using the new knowledge from this forum.
You make me smile.

Thanks so much.

I wonder if you could write the words?
 I cant figure what she says for the tallest finger.

yes it helped me too
Thanks

waterdreamer

I loved reading your story.

Your heart jumped with joy. 

Oh yes but do they really read?

They do!

Let me tell you a story.

She was 17 months old.
Words all over the house on bits of masking tape.
"little table "
"big table"
" inside "stuck to the door
and "outside" stuck -well outside of course.!

The words were everywhere you cared to glance.
Except the ceiling.

We had just read an old library book that warned against doing this.

Unrepentant, we were laughing about it and having fun at a family get together.

Let's write "roof " on the masking tape .
The very tall uncle offered to lift her up to the lounge ceiling..
Haha.
Much cheering and hilarity.

The  room fell respectfully silent though as we watched those determined little fingers go to work .
She placed the tape successfully with the sticky side against the ceiling.
No one really thought she would achieve it.

In the reflective quiet that followed some bright spark lying on the couch commented that the word viewed from the couch was upside down.

The baby was keen, so uncle held her above his head as she ripped the tape off and deftly  turned it around pressing it back into place.

We were too shocked to think of a camera.

I just wondered if you thought about both of you making a scrapbook
together.
Keeping it simple I mean.
Maybe a PDF of your /his own plan and progress.
Or even photos and his comments for family as you progress on Facebook .

You described it so well.

I have seen gardening forums that involve children too.