"Please don't teach your child that yet"

[kizudo]

Well, I got my first "Please don't teach your child that yet." comment today. 

My son is just over 3.5 and is LOVING piano.  We started him on piano lessons as a reward for behaving and paying attention during his private violin lesson.  If he was good he could play on the teacher's piano for a few minutes.  She showed him a few things and now it's blossomed into more of a lesson.  So now he has a 10 minute violin lesson and a 10 minute piano lesson.  He LOVES to practice his piano skills. 

I approached his other teacher (very active group mommy & me pre/low level theory music classes) with the inquiry as to when he could start their group piano lessons.  Anyway, when I told her what he knew and what he could do, she said that classes only started in September and that she would really appreciate if I wouldn't teach him anything more.  That's over 9 months from now!  I can't keep the piano away from him so why would I not have him be taught properly?  I love this teacher - she is SO amazing with children, but she seemed quite sure of starting him with all the other kids who were "coming in cold" next September.  I don't think it's a good fit for our family to just let him coast and possibly be bored.  Nor, is it a good fit financially to take this class and have it be purely a social experience.

Anyway, just venting....  I truly do love this teacher.  She is wonderful.  That is why we were considering moving him from the private lessons to the group lessons.  She is just amazing.  However, I'm not sure how to handle this.  I told her that I didn't believe that it was fair to a child to not teach them - particularly if it was in an area in which they were highly interested in.  That is why we have decided to homeschool - so that I can teach to his level in whatever subject.  We left the conversation with the agreement that she would 'assess" his knowledge in spring and  make a judgement at that time as to what to do. 

What are your thoughts?

[andreasro]

This sounds like I heard days before here in Romania (on forums) about teaching a child to write in kindergartens or before going to school (if homeschooled). The school teachers were afraid that the children will learn to write in a wrong way. They've just seen few cases like that and now believe NO child should be taught to write before going to the 1st grade.  But there are manuals that we can follow so that our children learn to write properly! If I want and see that my child would love to write, I just help him.

There are always great teachers, either in piano, or school or whatever. But our child has her needs. We just can't stop them from learning something because we might teach them wrong - wrong in the meaning of those teachers, not in ours. Maybe it would be a good way to find out what is her method of teaching - what does "right" or "wrong" mean to her, and what is she afraid of if she told you that. In this way you may find how to keep your son's interest and make him happy and also do something useful for the future piano group lessons.

I want to teach him piano at home. What's wrong with the fact that my child, by the time he gets to school or formal piano lessons, will know how solfege, notes on the piano and even play by reading a piece ?  It means he's good for another level, not a beginner one. And though I may find a good teacher here, all I care about is if that person is able to treat my child as an individual, not as a part of a group that is or should be at the same level - That's the reason I'll always try to teach my children things at home, even if they go to school.

What are the teachers afraid of when they hear a child has learned about things she's taught later in classes ? That they will work hard to de-program a child and teach her something new as - in their opinion - she was taught in a "wrong" way ? That they will have nothing else to teach them ? That the child will misbehave, won't pay attention because she'll be bored ? That they will have to rethink their method of teaching because they also have good students loving to learn new things and share their knowledge?

Sorry, Kizudo, I'm a bit ... upset about this kind of situations... 

Hope you find the best way for your child to be happy.

Andrea

[dalis]

I personally would do whats in my child's best intrest. In this case i wouldnt stop teaching him till september.
By next september your child could have a diffrent intrest so maybe you'll get him in a diffrent group.

[kizudo]

We WILL continue to have him take private lessons with the woman he is seeing now.  I suppose we'll just have to wait until the spring to determine what will be a good fit for him.  We may decide to toss the idea of a group music lesson altogether and rather keep doing the private thing and doing Kinderbach as a supplement.  I reviewed that a few months ago and really liked it.  My son can get his "social" experience in a library or swimming class.  But rest assured, we will not STOP teaching him what he is eager to learn!!!

[andreasro]

Dear Kizudo, I believe parents like you, me and (all) others on BK think at least twice before deciding for our kids. 

PS: The thing with the "social" experience is the first that comes into people's minds when assesing the situation of a child schooled at home.
"You have to get him to preschool as he needs a social life, to socialize, to be sociable!", is what I hear from different people around me.  He is sociable! And he does socialize - even more than others - when surrounded by any number of children or adults! So... where is the problem? I don't have one, my child neither. But they - the critics, and self-appointed judges - certainly do! 
 

[shellychan2008]

My daughter started her first one-on-one piano lesson when she was 2 years and 7 months old:

http://blog.yahoo.com/_D4MZQ4VBX2OGCH5WX6U4YGFK64/articles/143702

[LynnHwang]

Hi,
You must be a blessed mummy who have a musically inclined child and I don't see why the point that the teacher was trying to make. Children absorb really fast when they are young. It would be a waste to stop your child from experiencing the beauty of piano as I feel this is the best time for you to instill his love for it.  I have two daughters and I exposed them to music really young. Both are loving it. I have a video of my younger daughter playing the piano. Hope it can inspire you to start your child early. Cheerios!

http://nutsaboutarts-lynn.blogspot.sg/2012/09/too-young-to-learn-art-or-music.html

[Oana86]

I would definitely continue teaching my child Kizudo...at the end of the day, no matter how lovely that teacher might be....it's really about your child's best interest.

AndreasRo do you homeschool your child?...do you mind if I ask for some extra details (by email)?...I'm not sure if I mentioned in my initial email that we are planning to move back home in a couple of years...and did think of the idea of homeschooling...but I honestly thought there's no system in place yet.

Thank you in advance!

[kizudo]

This thread was started last November (2011) and we did continue to teach him at the end of the violin classes.  He advanced so quickly that the music teacher, whom I love so dearly, put him in her 2nd level class - starting next week!   So, basically, he learned everything he needed to know in her first level class from the 10 minutes he got at the end of his violin lesson with a different teacher.  Had I done as she asked, he would have been a full year behind in knowledge (and enjoyment)!

[kmum]

That's great! Thanks for the update

[bokchoybaby]

I'm really glad to read that you didn't hold him back.  In my case I played the piano for many years and had been studying music theory for years before I started to learn to play trombone in middle school.  Because I learned to play trombone by way of band in group lessons that probably function similarly to those group piano lessons I suddenly found myself "learning" with people who were years behind me.  As soon as I learned very fundamental embouchure and slide positioning I was playing at a far more advanced level than those around me.  I maintained first chair for several years with very little effort so I never developed the practice regimen that made me so successful at playing piano.   I was so bored and, really, I stayed fairly far ahead of most students until I stopped playing.  Really, my greatest limitation with trombone ended up being my tongue tie!  I did like playing but I think that you take something different away from an experience when you are challenged.  It's unfortunate that this was one area where I didn't challenge myself very much.  It didn't necessarily cause me to lose my love for music because that was well-established, but it wasn't as pleasurable experience as it could have been.  I had horrible stage fright that impacted the quality of my auditions and was still making high-level chairs in all state bands/orchestras.  I still spent a lot of time playing but it wasn't with the same kind of fire I brought to piano playing.  It's sad to see children lose that and so great that your son is doing so well!  It's also great that the teacher was happy to let him advance because some people are so rigid about progression.

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